


From My Heart You Will Rise

by VintageJacqui



Category: Nagron - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Fantasy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-15 08:35:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 50,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageJacqui/pseuds/VintageJacqui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nasir has been groomed since he was a child to become the saviour of his planet. Zera's leaders, people known as The Creators have plans for Nasir, plans that will change the fate of Zera's people forever. But not everyone is happy under The Creator's rule. A group called The Rebels is rising. Will they change Nasir's life for the better or is his fate already sealed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The lab

**Author's Note:**

> Tagged with Rape/Non-Con because it is referenced in the fic but not written about in detail.

The man in the white suit pushed him forward roughly. The shackles around his wrists were too tight, deliberately biting into his smooth skin. He walked in front of the suited man, eyes down, face impassive and his soul close to death.

“You are an instrument of peace, Nasir. The planet will be cured of its violent impulses and sadistic desires because of what you are giving up. You will be as a prince, my boy.”

His gravelly voice barely made it into Nasir’s mind. He was shutting down, letting the fear and hate and anger slip away to nothingness. What he was giving up? As if he had a choice in any of this.

They pass through an open plan building, silver and clinical with scientists milling around tables, experiments that Nasir would never understand sparking in his peripheral vision. They don’t acknowledge him and he finds that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything anymore.

“You should be proud,” the man continued “you are going to be an icon, a symbol. Does that please you Nasir?”

The man’s cold fingers brushed over a small silver ring embedded just behind Nasir’s ear. It was always exposed, Nasir’s silky black hair always tied up off his face, never allowed to flow loose.

A sharp bolt of electric pain surged over Nasir’s skin, a glittering blue light burned in his eyes and he fought every urge not to double over. He dug his fingernails into his palms and tiny crescent shaped cuts wept blood at the pressure. The pain receded and the cuts faded and healed the moment his hands relaxed.

“Does it please you?” The white suit asked again, calm and collected as if nothing had happened.

“It pleases me.” Nasir answered simply, obediently.

They walked on in silence. The only sounds were the occasional clinking of glass and the tight tap, tap, tap of the suit’s white leather shoes on linoleum.

Eventually the people around them got less and less until they were alone. The building had a faint metallic smell and Nasir could taste it on his tongue. It was cold, artificially so. It was an evil place.

They came to a door with no handle and the man stepped in front of Nasir pressing the palm of his hand flat against the surface of the door.

Nasir risked a quick glance at the man’s face. A face he knew far too well. He was young, only having ten more years or so on Nasir’s twenty one. His face was handsome, a few lines creasing around his eyes and on his forehead but they accented his sharp features and gave him depth. He had dark, wavy hair and his eyes were the colour of sand, a yellowy brown that reminded Nasir of a snake. He didn’t know the man’s name. He remembered being told that he didn’t need to know.

A dark red glow surrounded the man’s hand and a clicking noise came from inside the door. It slid open and Nasir looked into the darkness in front of him.

“Go ahead, step inside” White suite purred into Nasir’s ear.

No. He had to get out. Not this. Not… what was beyond the silver door.

The suit’s breath blew hot over the ring behind Nasir’s ear and a humming, almost dull pain flared up in Nasir’s blood. It was a warning, unspoken, but louder than any words could have been.

He took one step and a light came on above his head. He was in the doorway, not inside the room but not outside. It was as though he was standing on the precipice of time and space and he had no option but to fling himself over the edge. He didn’t have the strength to go back.

Another step and a sudden flicker of lights illuminated the room. 

The room was massive and Nasir found himself on a balcony overlooking the whole, wide open space below him. 

He felt the last part of his soul flake away from his body like ash in the wind.

There were thousands and thousands of them. 

He looked at their faces, at his own face and the white suit slid his clammy hand around Nasir’s waist, squeezing his hip. Caressing him.

Row upon row of clones stood shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, their eyes closed and lifeless.

“Beautiful aren’t they. They are perfect… finally perfect after all this time Nasir. Look,” he said, his voice proud and joyous, “just look at them.”

Nasir couldn’t do anything else. They were him, but not him. A shiver made him shake and he bit his lip hoping that the man hadn’t noticed. He wanted to throw up.

“Hmm, they excite me too. Their potential is… unimaginable. They are to be dispatched shortly and then we will see just how powerful you are my love.” The term of endearment was not said with genuine love. Nasir knew this well. He tore his eyes away from the sea of faces and turned to look at his master.

“Thank you master.” Nasir’s voice was quiet and small and he felt himself shrink, the last shreds of his humanity fading. He said what he knew his master wanted to hear, but they both knew that he did not mean it.

Something passed over the white suit’s face. It could have been shock, but it was gone a second after it appeared and the steely mask he wore all the time was back in place.

The white suit kissed him softly on the mouth and Nasir watched as his eyes closed and he forced his tongue inside Nasir’s mouth. 

He didn’t struggle.

“Mmmm,” the man groaned as he ended the kiss with a wet smacking sound and a lick of his lips, “I am sorry that this is the last time we will be together. I will miss you, but you are going to be doing something very important. Do you understand?” 

Nasir nodded yes.

“Good. It is time for you to leave.” 

Nasir was manoeuvred back through the door and the lights went out as he left. He was walked, his hands still bound behind him, back the way he came, through the building and past the scientists.

He tried to count them. They had all tested on him at one point but they always had their faces covered. It would have been better if he could have memorized their faces, but counting them would have to do. He didn’t know if he would ever return but he wanted to remember just in case.

Fifteen, no, sixteen including master. He never covered his face. He was too proud.

“Your flight will take eight hours, enough time to rest and prepare yourself to meet the creators again. They will explain what is going to happen to you next.” 

Nasir always wondered why the master talked to him like he was being kind, explaining every step of his life to him, telling him what was going to happen to him. Maybe it was because he had no chance of escape, no possible way to end his nightmare so it didn’t matter that he knew every detail. Nasir couldn’t use it against them anyway.

They reached a large archway that split the building in two and the white suit guided Nasir into a glass corridor. At the far end was a d-13 transport shuttle, a prison vessel that would carry Nasir to the other side of the planet. 

A guard spotted them and began striding towards them.

“I cannot tell you what a pleasure and an honour it has been working with you.“ 

Working with not working on, Nasir thought and swallowed hard.

“You are… so special.” He licked his lips, eyes lidded, breathing hard. Bowing his head he pressed his moist lips against the shell of Nasir’s ear. “I hope in time I will be worthy of owning one of your replicas,” he dipped the tip of his tongue into Nasir’s ear, tasting him one last time “but nothing compares to the real thing. Remember that.”

Nasir didn’t flinch. His face was drawn and pale and he blinked slowly.

The master stood back and sighed like he was losing his favourite toy.

The guard arrived and listened to a few simple instructions before leading Nasir away.

“Remember what I said Nasir. You are unique. One of a kind. No matter how many of you we make.” The white suit called out, his words bouncing off the polished glass and vibrating through Nasir’s chest.

“I will remember.” Nasir said quietly, his eyes so dark they were almost black. His lip turned up, not noticeable unless you were looking really hard. The smile was a promise, a threat. Nasir would remember. 

And everyone would pay.


	2. Dream world

Nasir stepped onto the prison shuttle and walked over to the regeneration chamber that had been fitted especially for his trip.

He waited patiently and silently for the guard to unlock the bright metal restraints on his wrists, the whirring sound of the security laser and the click of the double bolts that held the cuffs in place. Nasir has been shown holo images of prisoners who had tried to force their handcuffs off. The lasers were powerful enough to cut through bone like a hot knife through butter. Nasir had never tried to force his cuffs open.

The guard pushed firmly on Nasir’s back guiding him inside the chamber. 

It was a sleek, pod like chamber that he rarely needed to use. The creators didn’t like him to travel unless it was really necessary, but the short trip to the far side of Zera meant he needed to be secured.

The prison vessel rumbled as it left the docking station of the lab and the guard turned Nasir to face him, his back pressed to the padded wall. The guard started to fasten the binding straps over his arms and chest and Nasir remained still. He looked at the man’s face, watched him meticulously tie him down but never make eye contact. He had a small cut on his chin, a shaving cut or something and there was a little red scab forming over the wound. His nose was crooked, maybe from a fight or a fall maybe. Nasir wondered if the guard had a wife or a husband somewhere, children maybe.

The final straps, chain linked strips of metal, wafer thin but stronger than any other metal ever found were tightened around his ankles. The guard checked the straps one last time, he had dirt under his fingernails and he kept his eyes on his work. It wasn’t like he was trying to avoid Nasir’s eye it was just… like Nasir wasn’t present. That he was an object not a person.

He wondered if this was how everyone would react to him. Out of sight out of mind. 

That wouldn’t be the case for much longer. Only a few people were aware of his existence at the moment but soon…

The guard stepped away and pressed a few buttons on a panel on the edge of the chamber and the reinforced glass door slid shut with a hiss.

“Play the ‘Renata Instrumental’ please.” Nasir spoke clearly and the pod lit up at his words. A soft, sad melody crept into the chamber and Nasir closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply. 

The tinkling of a piano took flight and Nasir pictured wide open fields, blue and pink flowers in bloom. He could smell them. Feel the waxy petals on his fingertips, the buttery soft leaves and stems bursting out of the fertile earth.

He was barefoot, walking into a shallow stream with a flock of dark purple wading birds. He smiled as they plunged their long hook shaped beaks into the water, hunting for tiny silver fish. The same ones that tickled his toes and made him laugh.

The sun was warm on his bare arms. He held them out in front of him, spreading his fingers out wide.

He knew this place well. When he was a child, the creators had given him an endless vault of images and music to keep him calm. They hadn’t worked at first. His young mind, traumatised as it was had been overwhelmed by what was being forced upon him. The images were foreign to him, too colourful and sweet and he had fought them at first.

Then the tests had started. His waking hours had become the nightmare and his only escape was the images that were projected and seared onto his mind. The music relaxed him and he could conjure up any place he wanted to go by just closing his eyes and letting go.

The crunch of leaves made him turn his head to the right. A wild horse and her foal were drinking from the stream. He approached confidently running his hand over the mare’s solid flank, dusky grey spotted with white, patting her affectionately. She whinnied happily and a sharp bleeping caused the peaceful image to waver like ripples on the water.

Nasir sighed. Even here, the only place he had ever dared to hope would become a reality, could not totally wipe the throbbing truth waiting just beyond his closed eyelids.

The music was rising and falling in a morose wave and Nasir opened his eyes.

The guard and two other men were standing just in front of the clear window on the chamber door. They were waving their hands around and talking quickly.

“End music please.” Nasir asked and the notes cut off abruptly.

The glass was thick, the sounds of their voices only a muffled hollow sound, but Nasir had learnt to read lips so he could piece together some of what they were saying.

“…trouble on the coast…” Unknown man one said.

“…rebel shits… won’t be able to land…fucking peasants…” Unknown man two said.

“...this freak… under our protection until we can offload him… stay on course…” The guard said.

“…might clear up by the time we get there… back to work…” Unknown man one said.

They separated, moving off in different directions, returning to their stations.

Rebels? 

Nasir didn’t know who or what they were talking about. He had no idea about the people who lived on his planet, but rebels… who were they rebelling against? The only people Nasir had been in contact with were the creators, the master, the scientists and the guards and workers who assisted in transporting him. Oh yes, and the men and women who had been to view him occasionally over the years. They wore rich coloured silk, rose gold necklaces and rings and some wore elegant hats and veils. They looked at him through lustful eyes, chuckling and pointing and whispering behind their delicate hands.

These rebels sounded exciting, new and different.

A light blue hue crackled around Nasir’s pupils. Excitement settled low in his belly and his fingertips tingled.

Who were these rebels? He would probably never be told but he could try to imagine. He would like that.

“Play the Sympattico March please.” Nasir asked and let his eyes slip closed again.

A bouncy, happy tune swirled around him and he relaxed back against the deep padding of his cell. The images flooded his mind and he worked them like an artist at an easel, building up the structure and the colours, the sounds and the smells, textures and tastes. He saw people taking shape, both men and women, fierce looking and strong. He wasn’t able to imagine weapons, he would be punished if he did, but he knew that his rebels carried such magnificent armaments that he smiled. His straight white teeth were a stark contrast to his deep caramel coloured skin.

His rebels ran and roared up at the sky. They were brave and good and he longed to walk amongst them.

The flight would take eight hours. Nasir settled his mind and intended on enjoying every minute.


	3. The protectors

The door to the regeneration chamber slid open ripping Nasir from his fantasy. The music, a deep rumbling cello sonata, was disconnected and Nasir blinked slowly, his tired eyes adjusting to the luminous light flooding his senses.

The guard entered the pod and removed the metal straps, his fingers uncomfortably cold. The rough callouses on the tips of his fingers catching on the fine hairs on Nasir’s arms. The guard pulled him forward turning him around, taking a slender wrist in each hand and pinning them together with the silver cuffs. They were closed tight, the grind of the locking mechanism as familiar as his own heartbeat.

Eight hours had evaporated in what felt like minutes. Time passes too quickly in the world of Nasir’s creation. Far too quickly.

As the two men walked into the belly of the shuttle Nasir had a rare opportunity to observe his surroundings. The craft was spacious, unknown man one and two sitting with their backs to Nasir at a large curved control panel. The flickering lights and small beeps coming from under their fast moving hands were beautiful, mesmerising. The shuttle shuddered slightly as the clamps connected to the dock.

Nasir let his eyes roam to the large window at the side of the shuttle. A flicker of disappointment ran through him when he saw that the ship had already docked at the station at Helow Ridge. He had hoped that they would prepare him to depart while they were still flying. He had wanted to see the clouds passing by or some real life birds if he was lucky, but all he could see was the empty transport bay, grey and dull.

He was walked to the double doors at the rear of the shuttle where he waited, silent and still.

Sirens screamed, compressed air hissed and the scrape of metal on metal sounded as the doors opened. Nasir felt the butt of a gun poke into the small of his back.

“Move.” The guard said. He sounded bored.

A large armoured Helix carrier entered the grey room, hovering about a foot above the ground. Nasir walked slowly towards it. 

“That’s far enough.”

Being talked at was nothing new. It had humiliated him once, but he had let that part of himself go and now he hardly registered it. Nasir kept his eyes forward, on the dark grooves of the jet arms that kept the machine airborne, the coppery red paint of the dense plating and the black tinted windows concealing anything inside. He thought it looked like a giant, angry beetle.

When the truck stopped moving six people emerged from inside. He couldn’t tell if they were men or women. Their faces were covered with black masks. More like visors really that started just above their eyebrows and swept down to a point at their chins. Shiny, hard, featureless. The rest of their heads were covered by a black material that matched the clothes they wore. The soft fabric was deceptively strong, able to withstand any type of charge weaponry, lasers or energy bullets.

They were the creators specially trained guards, protectors of the richest, most powerful people on Zera. And now, Nasir.

They were deadly and feared by everyone, but Nasir had been in their charge before. He found them curious. They could be anyone under those masks. Sometimes he thought up stories about them, what they looked like, where they liked to eat, places they went in their free time. Just the normal things that normal people did every day, things he would never have. 

“I need to see your clearance pass.” The guard said snippily at the lead protector. A mixture of distain and jealousy dripped from his every word.

The lead thrust his hand out, a hexagonal shaped data pad clutched in his grasp. He didn’t speak as the guard eyed the pad, an eyebrow crooked and suspicious. He nodded and the lead withdrew his hand sharply.

“Fine, take him. We’re done here.” Nasir was pushed forward, a little rougher than necessary. He heard the guard sigh, obviously relieved to be rid of his burden. 

No one had ever been particularly keen on being in charge of Nasir on journeys. It was a dangerous job but it paid well. The guard turned on his heel and stalked back to the shuttle.

Nasir stood, seconds ticked by. The six protectors made no move towards him and an anxious feeling started to creep up Nasir’s spine. Eyes down, he looked at his feet, soft white slippers poking out under the cuff of his white trousers. He thought about the material, a mole skin texture that felt good against his legs. His simple white top. Smooth cotton, pure and crisp. His mind blocked out the anxiety. Detailing and distracting. Nothing to make him react.  
What were they waiting for?

His eyes were out of focus, a green filter clouding over them. The silver cuffs started to burn into his wrists.

He heard a sound… a word had been spoken. Was that a name? Urgent… questioning… waiting…

Risking a glimpse he saw the lead nod to the others before moving to the front of the Helix and out of sight. They had been waiting for his command.

All at once they moved. Hands and hands and hands all touching him and guiding him into the truck. Nasir blinked hard and his vision cleared with a snap. The black clad bodies were firm but gentle moving Nasir steadily and seating him on a simple bench against the wall inside the vehicle. As they stepped back, a glass partition dropped down, separating them. Nasir was alone again.

There was something different about the protectors. They were standing too close to him. They never did that before. The way they touched him… it was… he couldn’t figure it out. The weapons they always carried meant they hadn’t needed to make any physical contact with him before. He just complied with their instructions and if he needed to be secured somewhere a guard was at hand to fasten any restraints.

Perhaps the creators had had new people trained? It had to have been a few years since he was last escorted by the protectors so it could be that they had upgraded the way they had to treat him. It wasn’t his place to question but he couldn’t deny the grain of curiosity he had about his faceless minders.

It didn’t matter. Nasir tried not to overthink. He would be with the creators soon enough and then…

He had no clue what they wanted him for now. He expected that it would be nothing good. He would find out sooner than he would like, the summit of Helow Ridge was only a short drive from the docking station.

Closing his eyes Nasir tried to think of something else. He built up his world brick by brick, tree by tree, adding his rebels and letting his fantasy take him over. A name started to filter through. It tasted like energy and fire and Nasir chased it through his thoughts. It seemed to skip away every time he reached for it, but he kept going anyway. It was a challenge. He wanted to hear each letter again and again until it finally revealed itself. Maybe he could even steal it to use on one of his rebels… yes maybe.

Calm settled upon him, it wouldn’t last, but until he reached his next destination Nasir would take what he could get.


	4. Helow Ridge

Nasir stepped down from the Helix, his feet finding hard ground underneath them. It was an interesting stone, changing colour with the rising and falling of the sun. Now, as the golden disk was setting, Nasir saw that the rock had turned into a deep bluish purple like a raw bruise. He walked forward, quick steps, a ring of protectors surrounding him like a human shield. They passed through a large gate and into a circular courtyard, so grand and luxurious that Nasir held his breath, the twilight doing nothing to dampen the beauty of the place.

He could feel him before he actually saw him. A tense pulse biting in his chest. Nasir started to shiver, vibrating like butterflies wings. His senses were so acute that the sickly sweet scent of honeyed wine gave the man away.

An emissary, a man whose sole purpose was to bow and scrape and serve the creators, crept from the shadows to greet the approaching group. He was like a walking bat his long flowing cape curled around his shoulders and his eyes, completely black and shiningly wet.

Nasir felt the protectors close in slightly, pressing tighter to his side. He frowned without knowing why.

“Welcome back to Helow, Nasir. It has been too long.” Words slid from the emissaries tongue like the hiss of a lizard, cold and secretive. “You must be exhausted. You will rest now and tomorrow you will be escorted to the creators. They are anxious to see you again.” A cold arm slid over Nasir’s shoulders and they made their way into the huge mansion on the high summit of Helow Ridge.

“These men are now your own personal guard and will be with you at all times.” He gestured at the protectors, moving around them like shadows. “We have had rooms made up for you with anything you need available at any time… within reason.”

The emissary, called Creylon if Nasir’s memory served, looked at him with tight expectation.

“Thank you.” Nasir spoke softly, his own voice sounding foreign to him. The hospitality he would find here would be tainted, he knew this. He was not safe or loved however hard they all made out that he was.

They walked into the mansion. It was warm and dimly lit, furnished with plush golden furniture and deep rich fabrics. Golds, reds, purples and greens all swirling together to create a cosy atmosphere, ripe with overindulgence. Crackling fires burned in large hearths and gilded frames hung on every wall containing paintings of the beautiful landscapes of Zera. Nasir had seen it all before. He had taken in every detail the first time he had walked these halls and however hard he tried he could not erase the images from his mind. The mansion held no place in his heart.

“Here,” Creylon stopped outside a large silver door with no handle. It looked out of place, too hard and cold in the luxurious surroundings “these are your quarters. Your men will get you settled and I will collect you tomorrow.” A red glow shone around his hand as he pressed it against the door. An echo of the master and the lifeless sea of faces flashed in Nasir’s mind and he shuddered.

He stepped inside the room when the door slid open. Creylon left without another word and Nasir was left in his familiar state of silence. He was used to his own company and he preferred it that way. He was never actually left completely alone but even with guards or the scientists buzzing around him they often acted like he wasn’t there at all. 

Inside his new home, but not a home, there was a blunt difference to the rooms he had just travelled through. Instead of the warm colours and soft furnishings he found white and silver, metallic nothingness. A chamber, like the one on the Helix, but slightly larger had been set up in the centre of the room. Nasir went towards it, expecting the protectors to follow but they seemed to hesitate. Nasir stood, waiting to have his cuffs removed and to be strapped on the padded bed.

Nasir stared at the floor, waiting. 

A muffled cough came from one of his dark men but he kept his eyes focused on the ground, a slate like material with a grainy looking texture. Nasir thought of an image from the data files in the chamber. It had projected the image of a tropical beach onto his mind but he hadn’t visited there in a long time. His long eyelashes touched the top of his cheeks as his eyes dipped closed. The sound of a sea bird called in the distance and Nasir could taste salt on his tongue. He could feel the grainy sand, scratchy and damp and satisfying between his toes. 

He walked slowly, a warm breeze catching in his hair and kissing the bare skin of his chest. The sea raged and crashed and there was a hand gripping his bicep… there was a hand gripping his bicep!

Nasir’s eyes flew open and he gasped loudly.

The protector, the only one who had moved from the group, released Nasir and stood back a step. He raised his hands up as if to show he meant him no harm.   
Eyes wide, Nasir fought to control himself, a spark of white light popped out of the corner of his eye and skittered down onto the floor. He bit his lip hard enough to split the skin. The tang of blood swept over Nasir’s tongue and his lip healed.

The protector stepped back up to Nasir. He towered over him, casting a shadow that covered Nasir like a blanket. Behind his mask the man tilted his head. He was looking at Nasir. Seeing him.

They stood, a few inches apart and time seemed to stretch. The whites of Nasir’s eyes were luminous, reflected like two bright stars on the polished visor.

He circled Nasir, a slow,graceful sweeping of his legs. The cuffs were removed and Nasir turned, almost willing to go into the chamber. He wanted to get away. Away from the hidden gaze of this unknown, unknowable creature. 

He lay back against the padded bed and watched as his straps were fastened. It was hard, but even with his face concealed, Nasir was sure that the man kept stealing glances at him. His hands moved deftly, pulling the metal bonds and sealing them. Why was he looking at him? This wasn’t right.

The last strap was fixed down and the protector left the chamber. A number of beeps sounded as he typed in a code on the locking panel on the door and it shut with a soft hiss. 

Nasir’s heart began to slow down, steadily returning to its normal rhythm. He watched as the man strode back to his companions. He didn’t imagine that… the world he created in his mind couldn’t be slipping through the cracks of reality could it? He wanted to laugh, he wanted to die, he wanted to lash out and kill. He turned his head to the side so he could no longer see the men outside the chamber.

The pressure of the protectors hand was still imprinted on his arm, so real it was almost like it was still there. He had touched him, without fear or disgust… it was electrifying.

A tear stung and trickled down his cheek.

“Play “The Death of the Moon” please.” The words came out in a sob, in a voice that Nasir didn’t recognise.

Soft strings, melancholy and beautiful. A violin and the whisper of a flute filled the chamber. More tears flowed, against his will, but he was unable to stop them. 

The music felt like drowning and Nasir let it take him under.


	5. A demonstration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I am taking so long posting, Sparty Big Bang is killing me and I have lost the writing plot once again. I hope this chapter is ok and please let me know if you want me to continue this fic. I honestly couldn't get into this chapter but I know how I want the next one so I will keep trying! Thanks so much!

Bones crunched with a sickening, grinding pop as they fused themselves back together.

The final demonstration to the elders to show of the completed effect of Nasir’s development was more severe than he had imagined. 

Creylon had arrived that morning as promised. He walked in front of Nasir and the protectors, guiding them all to the centre of the mansion and into a large hall. High vaulted arches and pillars caught Nasir’s eye. Animals were carved into the marble tangled into stony vines and half hidden by intricate leaves. There were bright green monkeys, lemurs and bats peeking out, the kind Nasir had seen before. He had ran through dewy forests with them, bounded up trees and stood above the canopy, high enough to see eagles hunting on the wing. Those had seemed so real, the animals in his mind and to him they were. But the arch animals were scary looking and harsh, not alive and beautiful and free like the ones he loved. He let his eyes drop to the floor and had continued into the hall.

The protectors surrounded him in a tightly knit half-moon. They stopped at the foot of a set of marble stairs leading up to where the creators sat, watching, waiting.

“Nasir, we welcome you. This is a very momentous moment, you must be excited yes?” One of the creators spoke, his voice harsh like rusty steel.

They didn’t expect a response and even if they had Nasir wouldn’t have known what to say. They still hadn’t told him what he was for, why he was this saviour that was meant to save Zera from who knew what. Nasir frowned. He had the sudden urge to turn to his protectors. He craved the sliver of contact that one of them had shown him. He feared it but he had nothing else. His body remained still.

There were six of them in total, all haggard, wrinkled old men who looked like they were about two hundred years old. It made it so much worse whenever they had touched Nasir, calloused dry fingers like rough bark on his young warm skin.

“We have waited for this day since you came to us all those years ago.” A second creator said. This one looked older than the first. His bald head was creased and his eyes had a milky film over them. He licked his lips and leered at Nasir as he spoke and Nasir shuddered, stomach twisting in a knot. He knew what they thought when they looked at him.

“You understand we need to see the full extent of your abilities…” Creator one croaked again and laughed, breathy sickening laugh, “…Creylon if you would.”

The administrator approached like a cat stalking its prey. His hand darted forward grasping the hair gathered at the back of his head pulling it roughly. Tears stung Nasir’s eyes and Creylon dragged a clammy finger over the shining ring under Nasir’s ear. A jolt of electric pain surged through his body. Creylon kept his finger pressed to the sensitive device for longer than anyone had ever done before. The device hadn’t really been used much since it was implanted shortly after he was taken because after the first few times it had been used he had realised it was pointless to fight it.

It felt endless. Searing heat, burning cold, muscles spasming and twitching. Nasir jerked, his mouth open in a silent scream then snapping shut trapping his bottom lip between his teeth like a vice. 

When the finger released Nasir from its sadistic hold his pupils had blown, wide and wild and the whites of his eyes pulsed black and murky green. He tried to conjure up an image in his head, something to ease his trembling spirit, but it was as if the agony of those seconds, minutes… he had no clue… had wiped his mind clean.

His torture was far from over.

Creylon broke both of Nasir’s arms, cracked his skull against the marble floor and burned the skin on his face and arms. A knee to the stomach took all the air from his lungs. Burnt orange and gold, a shimmer coated Nasir’s eyes, his mind trying desperately to shut down, throwing up walls in a frantic scramble to protect, defend, shield… The back of Creylon’s hand landed on Nasir’s cheek with a loud smack, blood rising under his skin, bruising and retreating, healing in seconds. The creators clucked and uttered little satisfied noises while their administrator pulled out Nasir’s fingernails, laughing as they grew back instantly. Creylon allowed Nasir a minute to gather himself. He straightened his back, teeth bared through ragged breaths. He was not allowed to retaliate, not allowed to defend himself but they couldn’t stop him from showing a little defiance to the torture. Body raised to its full height, Nasir thrust out his chin and looked Creylon in the eye. 

A small smile tugged at the Creylon’s lizard like lips and he turned to look for the nod of approval from his masters.

“Proceed.” One of the ancient crones croaked and Creylon turned back to Nasir, the smile now fully formed in a disturbing snarl. He was enjoying this demonstration far too much.

He stabbed Nasir through the heart with a long red bladed dagger.

Blood filled Nasir’s mouth but he didn’t scream. The experiments they had done on him must have concentrated his ability somehow. Made his ability to heal accelerate and help him to regenerate almost immediately. But, there was no escape from the blinding pain of it all. The blade twisted. He felt his bones snap, ribs and spine, and his eyes flared red. The dagger slid through them all like they were nothing.

No one made a move when he fell. The dagger slipped free from his body and Nasir’s hand covered the open wound in his chest, blood leaking hotly from the deep gash. It wasn’t the attack that shook him, it was the horror that he, whatever that was, was only worth this. As a thing to be used and beaten. If it weren’t for the way he could heal he would be dead by now. A solitary tear rolled down his cheek. Would he ever be free of this?

He could hear them talking. Nasir was lying slumped and shaking on the steps leading up to the platform where the elders sat like vultures peering down at him. He was left alone on the floor like a dog they had no affection for. Creylon whispered to the crones through his red stained teeth. 

“The clones will be sent out to every house in the lower quarter. You can see that Nasir is perfectly adapted to the task, the clones will function well. Lull the masses until we are ready. Once the crime rate subsides the second phase can begin.” 

The creators nodded eagerly at their subordinates words. The milky eyed old man spoke again.

“Very good. We are impressed with him. Initiate the dispatch of the clones and arrange a public appearance of our dear Nasir. The people of Zera will want to see…” he laughed, sinister and secretive…”they will want to see the man who will change their planet forever. Now, Nasir must rest. It is time for us to retire.”

“Take him back to his room.” Creylon barked his order at the protectors in a clipped tone of disinterest, his fun with Nasir over.

The hands on his lower back, arms and shoulders barely registered.

His feet moved lightly back through the mansion, goose bumps crept over his skin, his eyelids drooped. It felt like he was being carried but he couldn’t be sure. The exhaustion he felt was overwhelming. It was a bitter pill that his body, already healed from its physical injuries, wouldn’t let him forget the mental ones he had suffered.

Back in his room, everything was a blur. Dark shapes crowded him, some hung back away from him. There was some sort of struggle. A protector grabbing at another trying to restrain him. Muffled voices growing louder, angrier.

The protector, the tall one… the one who frightened Nasir the day before, moved forward. He guided Nasir’s body to sit with a gentle nudge, a hand on his arm. Nasir could see himself reflected in the black visor, pale but no physical marks of any kind. He stared at his own face, distorting slightly as the protector tilted his head. It was a familiar motion and one that Nasir feared and longed for all at once. Such a simple thing had come to mean that he was real to someone, even if that someone was hidden and mysterious and…

Nasir’s reflection disappeared in on swift stroke. The protector ripped the visor away from his face.

“Are you alright?” The voice was deep and smooth, a little rough with what sounded strangely like strangled emotion. Nasir’s mouth opened wide and he stared and stared until he felt the man’s fingers brush lightly over his cheek bone. Startled by such a simple but tender touch Nasir flinched away, scrambling towards the regeneration chamber.

Sage green eyes followed his movements, concerned and sad, wet with contained pain.

It was too much for Nasir, too much all at once. He could feel his senses overload. Nerve endings firing wildly, white hot sparks flew from his eyes and skittered over the floor and the last thing he saw before falling back into unconsciousness was a strong arm reaching out, reaching for him and pulling him into warmth.


	6. Saved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my readers so much I can't tell you... well I can... ahem... I LOVE YOU!
> 
> Thank you for all your unwavering support!

When Nasir’s eyes opened he was lying curled up in a tight ball on the padded bed in the regeneration chamber. The door wasn’t sealed like it always was and the tight cuffs were absent from his wrists. One hand was cradling his head and the other was pressed to his chest just below his neck. It was odd, such a simple sensation of freedom, but having the use of his arms after years, so many years of feeling trapped, was exhilarating. He wiggled his fingers a little and the missing bite of metal against flesh felt strangely like a limb was gone.

He must have slept for hours because the lights in the room have switched to the night setting, casting a hazy orange glow over everything. From his position on the bed he could see the tall figures of his protectors, none of them wearing masks now and from what he can hear they are arguing. Nasir blinks rapidly. He could be dreaming all of this after all. This could even be the twisted hallucinations of a mad man. He shifts on the bed and turns his head to try to hear what they are saying.

“Agron has jeopardised the mission Spartacus,” a burly, angry looking man was being held back, his hands balled into fists ready for a fight.  
That name though. Spartacus… he had heard that name, on the journey here. Were these the rebels that the guards had been talking about? Nasir’s heart pounded in his chest.

“He has put all our lives at risk because he couldn’t wait two more fucking days!”

“You saw what they did to him! It was barbaric! We can’t sit back and let them do anything like that to him again. Spartacus you must see this?” This man Agron spoke with such passion that for a moment Nasir didn’t realise that it was him they were arguing about.

Agron… the protector, the rebel, the man. 

A stranger who had shown him kindness and he hadn’t been afraid to touch him, speak to him. No one had ever bothered to before. Nasir remembered those green eyes searching his face, looking for signs of pain or injury. The emotion in those eyes screamed at Nasir, louder than any words could. He cared for Nasir, really cared… Nasir wondered why.

The bed beneath him was becoming more uncomfortable as the minutes passed. Blinking, Nasir shifted his body and focused on the quarrelling group again.

“Crixus has a point. We needed to wait.” The man who had been holding Crixus away from Agron sighed. He looked at Agron with sympathy. His words were apologetic and he had the look of a friend who wants to ease the others suffering but doesn’t know how. Nasir liked him immediately. These rebels weren’t like any other people he had ever had contact with. They were all so very alive. Energy cascaded from them, pouring into the little room in warm streams of light. It wrapped itself around Nasir, penetrated his skin and he felt dizzy with the beauty of it.

“You both fucking saw what they did to him and you think I was wrong to show him who we are too early? Fuck the gods!” Agron spoke again, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. He sounded so tired, so exhausted. Nasir didn’t know what to think.

“He can’t be killed. He could have held out for two more days.” Crixus growled at Agron as he paced up and down, scowling furiously.

“He might not be able to die but that doesn’t mean he can’t be hurt. It’s not right and you all know it. I won’t apologise for that. If I have saved him even two more days of pain and torture then it was fucking worth it!”

Agron sat down, his head bowed, hands hanging loose between his knees. Crixus looked at Spartacus and the rest of the group and when his eyes settled on Agron again it was clear that he regretted speaking in anger. When Agron started to talk again it was softer, so soft that Nasir had to strain to hear.

“If we move him tonight the plan will still work. The clones are already being transported to the lower quarter and by the time they discover that Nasir is gone it will be too late. They would never reveal to the people that their saviour is missing. The next step in their scheme depends on him being paraded around like their little pet for a while longer. But we have to get him out now. Whatever happens, I am getting him the fuck out of here.” He sighed, long and slow like he couldn’t physically say another thing. He stared at his hands and didn’t look up.

All eyes were on Agron. The group were watching with pride, sadness, hope and fear all battling for position in their eyes. Nasir was shaking, he couldn’t breathe. He tried to sit up but the motion made his head spin and he clung to the side of the bed with panicked fingers.

“Nasir?” Spartacus was moving towards him before Nasir could tell him to stop, to stay away, hurt, hurt, I will hurt you. The panic was rising in Nasir’s body, electricity bubbling just under the surface. His eyes snapped shut and he tried to calm the wave of pressure swelling against his defences. He was confused, scared and he was losing control. No one was here to suppress his power. No guards, no scientists, the master was far away, even Creylon would have been able to use chamber to secure Nasir. But this rebel leader was closing in on him. Good intentions and concern were going to get him killed. Nasir didn’t want to hurt him but all of the sensations he had been forced to absorb were overwhelming him.

“Please, no…” Nasir held out a quivering hand, a gesture to stop the man from coming to close. Nasir could feel it building, growing and spinning out of control. When he was back in the lab he had been tested again and again. The explosions that had rocketed out of him were measured and examined, recorded and repeated. Every time they got bigger, got worse and he had been helpless to resist. 

They had all marvelled at the devastating effect of Nasir. 

He let his eyes fall closed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Nasir chanted over and over. A weak prayer on his lips.

“Hey, shhhh, it’s okay.” The voice, so close to Nasir’s ear made his heart stop beating. A hand slid over the smooth hair behind his head holding on firmly. “Open your eyes Nasir. You’re safe now.” The hand moved, hovering over the metal disk behind his ear, careful not to touch, and settled again on his cheek. It was so warm that Nasir felt himself lean into the touch. “Nasir, please.”

He opened his eyes. Agron was there. He was smiling at him, his thumb stroking burning lines over his cheek.

“How did you do that?” Nasir croaked. He was in shock. They should all be dead right now. The power surging through him was on the brink of release and yet here he was, staring back at six faces, unharmed and glowing with life. He looked back at Agron, drawn by some invisible magnetic pull to his face. “Who are you?”  
Agron laughed softly, his smile deepening, twin dents appearing on each cheek, making him look more youthful and less troubled than he had just a few moments ago. Nasir couldn’t believe how beautiful he was. He turned to look at his companions, pointing at each of them in turn while never taking his other hand from holding Nasir.

“This is Spartacus. Next to him are Crixus, Gannicus, Donar and Lugo. My friends… and now yours.” He turned back to Nasir. His eyes were a darker shade of green, the colour of pine needles and dewy moss on a leaf littered forest floor. Nasir licked his lips. “My name is Agron, I… I will explain everything to you, everything Nasir, I promise. But for now I need you to trust me… us, I need you to trust us. No one is going to hurt you again.”

Nasir gasped, the meaning of what Agron had just said hit him like a hurricane. 

“Nasir, we’re here to save you.”


	7. The colour of love

Nasir had been given the same black clothes and visor to cover his face as his protectors wore. They weren’t his protectors anymore though. They were the rebels he had heard about on the journey here, the rebels who were rescuing him from the only life he could remember, the men who had sworn to protect him from any more harm. He tried not to shake too much as he was led through the dark corridors. His thoughts were conflicted. Agron… he had asked Nasir to trust him, to trust them and he wanted to. It was just… trust wasn't something he had ever done before. He had never trusted anyone not to hurt him or want something from him and he couldn’t stop the grain of doubt telling him to keep vigilant. These men could be taking him away from the creators to somewhere worse, somewhere that the tests would continue and the pain would be never ending.

Trust might not be something that Nasir could give freely, but hope was something else. Despite the doubt, he had such hope that the rebels were who they claimed they were. The terrible fear and sadness he had seen in Agron’s eyes couldn’t be easily faked. He could feel the warmth of the man walking next to him. Nasir looked through the odd dark plate hiding his face and tried to imagine what Agron’s face looked like now. Would his jaw be clenched with determination and anxiety? Maybe he would look relieved that his friends had so understood at his obviously unpopular decision to break from their plan. 

As though his mind was being read, Agron’s hand was suddenly on Nasir’s shoulder. He felt each finger, gripping lightly in a comforting squeeze. Nasir relaxed slightly and tried to ignore the thundering of his heart against his ribs.

The walk was short. Shorter than Nasir was expecting and they hadn’t encountered any obstacles from any guards. In fact Nasir hadn’t seen a single person since they left his room. The group passed through a large wooden door and into a small courtyard. There were two Helix transporters waiting silently and Nasir was guided to the one on the right. The hand on his shoulder moved away and Nasir watched in awe as Agron removed his own visor and leaned in close, his lips pressed to the dark fabric concealing Nasir’s ear.

“We have to split up to give us all the best chance to avoid capture. You will be travelling with me. Don’t worry Nasir I won’t let anything happen to you.” Agron leaned back and smiled, his bright white teeth flashing in the dark of night. Nasir felt himself nod, but couldn’t form any words in response. He believed Agron, could see the warm glow searing out of his heart and flowing unashamedly to Nasir. It was red, deep and throbbing. The hazy crimson heat touched Nasir like a caress. It was overwhelmingly beautiful.

“He loves me.” The thought shot into Nasir’s consciousness like a ray of sunlight, bright, clear and true. It isn’t possible, he can’t… the colours flooding his every sense said otherwise.

Nasir didn’t have time to give the revelation anymore thought because he was being moved into the belly of the Helix, Agron at his side, large and solid. There was no regeneration chamber in the Helix this time so Nasir sat on the edge of one of the padded seats, perched and unsure how to act without anyone telling him what to do or where to be. He was trying so hard to keep the panic from rising again. Nasir was breathing in short, sharp intakes of breath and his eyes widened as the doors of the ship slid closed with a metallic click.

“You can take the visor off if you want to. It will help you to relax if you can see us better.” Agron spoke softly to Nasir and the panic quietened down a little. There was something soothing in Agron that somehow calmed the powerful swirling energy inside Nasir. 

Nasir stayed silent. Another thing he wasn’t used to was talking out loud. In his dream world he would talk in many different languages, but in reality, words barely passed his lips. Digging his fingers into the fabric of his trousers he bit his lip hard, hating the feeling of being some sort of freak who was unable to function in the real world. He didn’t want these men to pity him. It was inevitable though. He wasn’t… normal.

“Maybe you should help him?” The man sitting across from Nasir, Gannicus with the long golden hair spoke to Agron and raised an eyebrow. The men must know each other very well to understand each other’s subtle expressions because Agron nodded and turned his body to face Nasir fully.

“Here, let me take this off.” Agron pulled gently at the base of the visor and Nasir did nothing to resist. It came off with ease, slipping over Nasir’s glossy hair with a silky whisper. “There, much better.” Agron smiled again. It was one of the most mesmerising things Nasir had ever seen. There was nothing patronising in the big man’s tone when he spoke, but Nasir could hear the precise care being taken in every word. Perhaps it was because he knew that Nasir would be particularly vulnerable to losing control in these unfamiliar surroundings or it could have been something more. 

Nasir looked at the man sitting so close. He was so open, his emotions exposed like no one else Nasir had ever met. When the protectors… rebels, had been arguing back in the mansion Nasir couldn’t see the shades of Agron that he was witnessing now. He was closed off, walls up. But here, he was giving his everything to Nasir, projecting his colours without even knowing it. Nasir knew nobody else could see how he could, read people like he could. It made him feel a little like he was prying into something private, but Agron was so intoxicating he couldn’t take his eyes from him.

“How are you feeling? I know this must be a shock and you’re probably doubting us…” Agron scratched absently at the hint of stubble shadowing his jaw, “but we have been working for a long time to see this day. To see you freed.”

The light coming from Agron intensified. He was so happy. 

Nasir shivered.

“Why?” It was all he could manage. Nasir wanted to know why these people wanted to help him.

Agron opened his mouth, but before he could answer the men inside the Helix jolted forward as the ship stopped abruptly. Nasir’s eyes searched Agron’s and saw a flash of frustration and fear. This was not good. Agron stood, looming over Nasir, making him feel small. 

“I’ll find out what’s going on,” he said quickly, pulling his visor on and pressing the locking pad on the heavy doors with the palm of his hand. Nasir put his own visor on and the sense of being trapped was frightening. The doors opened with a hiss, cool air filling the small space and chilling Nasir to the bone.  
The guns pointed at Agron’s chest made Nasir gasp. He hoped the sound was muffled by the mask and hadn’t given him away… given his friends away. He liked how the thought of having friends made him feel and couldn’t bear to think that they were in danger because of him.

“Get out, all of you,” the guard growled and moved the barrel of his gun closer to Agron.

Nasir’s blood ran cold.


	8. A close call and a revelation

The guards surrounding the two motionless Helix transporters had to have been particularly stupid or extremely new to their job. No one threatened protectors even if it was the hint of malice behind the angle of a firearm. These men were making a big mistake.

Nasir could see the tension in Agron’s back and shoulders as he stepped down from the ship. The distance between them felt like miles and Nasir felt dizzy from it. He started to stand, to follow Agron out into the unknown, but Gannicus raised a hand that stilled him. It said stop, stay where you are, firm but not commanding. Nasir did what he was asked.

Gannicus followed Agron, leaving Nasir alone inside. He hadn’t been sure who was driving the vehicle until Spartacus’ voice rang out in the eerie silence.  
“Who authorised you to stop us?” His voice was sharp and fierce. It would cut to the bone if it were directed at you. Nasir could see why the man was the rebel’s leader.

From the sliver of view he had of one of the guards Nasir could see the short, stocky man shift on his feet and lower his gun slightly but not all the way. It made him nervous.

“We are authorised to stop any transporter we deem to be suspect. The hour is late and with the rebels…” 

Spartacus crowded up to the man and cut him off.

“You are authorised to stop and search civilian transport, yes? Do we look like civilians? I will make sure to make a note in my report that you continued to keep your firearm’s raised even after you identified us as protectors.” 

The guard lowered his gun, Nasir suspected they all had and he heard the man mumble an apology.

“The rumours about the rebels have increased. The dispatch of the clones hasn’t yet had any effect on the crime rate, it’s still too soon and if the rebels make a move…” the guard looked around him, as though fearful of being overheard, “this would be the perfect time for them to launch an attack on Helow Ridge. The shits could be anywhere.”

There was something… a tugging on Nasir’s lips. He realised that he was smiling. The stupid guards had no idea he was speaking to the very man who led these rebel shits they obviously feared and hated so much. Strange and new and even terrifying that all of this was for him, Nasir for once in his life felt included. That he could be a part of something, whatever these people who had freed him and sworn to protect him were planning. He could stand with them. 

Spartacus’ voice broke his wandering thoughts. 

“We will overlook your insubordination this time. The rebels growing strength is making everyone feel uneasy. Carry on with your work.” Spartacus turned on his heel and stalked back to the front of the Helix without looking back. The guard, the one Nasir could see gave a curt nod to Agron and Gannicus before moving away, a scowl twisting his face into an ugly mask. There was no love lost between guards and protectors. 

As soon as Agron climbed back into the Helix he went straight to Nasir, pulling off his own visor before taking off Nasir’s as the doors clanked shut.

“You feeling alright.” He held up a hand as if to cup Nasir’s cheek but it hovered in the air. His face was strained, unsure if he could touch Nasir so intimately. His eyes searched for any signs that Nasir was losing control, but they were clear, bright, even in the dim light inside the vehicle. Nasir shook slightly, but for once he was not afraid, he was… excited. He felt alive.

“I feel fine, thank you.” He almost said master. The familiar taste of the term was on the tip of his tongue. It was a word he was used to saying, but now looking into Agron’s eyes, seeing the purple and red mist seeping through Agron’s skin it tasted bitter on his tongue. There was no way this man wanted Nasir to see him as master.

Agron’s eyes widened when Nasir spoke and he looked at Gannicus with a wide smile. Both men laughed and Gannicus took a flask from under the seat, unscrewing the cap and taking a long drink of its contents. He offered it to Agron who declined with a shake of the head, Nasir followed suit when Gannicus held out the flask to him.

“That was too close. We thought we would be stopped inside the mansion though so it could have been worse.” Agron bit his lip and breathed in deeply. “You did really well Nasir.”

Nasir felt his lips moving again. Before he knew it he was smiling again. It felt odd, foreign to him, but Agron’s enthusiasm and beautiful colours made it impossible for him not to return it. The smile was small and unsure. Agron looked at him like he was the only thing he could see, the very centre of his universe. Agron covered Nasir’s hand with his own and everything else melted away.

Nasir was standing on a high cliff overlooking the sea. He turned to face the crashing water below and felt a cool spray sting his face. It was a breath-taking sight. Nasir had never been to this place before… where was he?

“Where am I?” He spoke into the wind and it whipped the words away from his mouth and they faded to nothing.

“This was my home.” 

Agron? Nasir had never seen anyone else in his dream world before, never let anyone’s image stay in his mind as he drifted, they would stain his sanctuary. He must have drifted off in the Helix and with Agron so close, his image must have stuck.

“This is Germania, on the East of Zera. I was a boy here.” Agron stepped towards him and ran his hand up the soft smooth skin of Nasir’s arm. “I wanted you to see it, I suppose so you would know something about me.”

Nasir blinked. Agron was here, in his world? That wasn’t possible. It explained why this place was unfamiliar to him.

“How are you doing this? I’m not imagining you am I?” Nasir looked down at Agron’s hand, his fingers forming a neat circle around his bicep. It certainly felt real. Agron was really with him in this place.

“No, you aren’t imagining this.” Agron looked out at the waves. He looked lost in thought, concerned maybe, but Nasir couldn’t see his colours here. In this place he couldn’t read how Agron was feeling like he could in the real world.

“Are you like me?” A freak? It sounded bad even in his head to consider Agron the same way he saw himself. If Agron had the abilities that Nasir had he wouldn’t be a freak. There was something wonderful about the man frowning at his side. 

“Sort of, well no, I’m… It’s hard to explain. I promise once we get you safe with our people I will tell you everything, but for now…” Agron looked away, an almost shy look appearing on his face, “I just need you to trust me.”

He had said these words before. Trust me. The last time, Nasir had the niggling voice of doubt in the back of his mind. Here though, the place that Agron had brought him, shown him using his own mind instead of Nasir’s, changed everything. 

“I do trust you,” he said slowly, blinking again at the warm feeling settling in his stomach.

Agron smiled.

The Helix jolted forward and as suddenly as he had left, Nasir was back in the transporter, back in the real world. 

His eyes drifted to his arm, the sensation of a dull pressure echoing from the other world. Agron’s hand was still there, still holding on to Nasir like if he let him go he would disappear. What Agron had told him was true.

It had been real.


	9. The rebel camp

The rebel camp was nothing like Nasir had imagined it to be. In his mind he had seen sand, red and gold, under his feet and swirling in the wind, the air humid and sticky and clinging to his imaginary rebel’s skin. It had tasted thick and heavy on his tongue.

Here, as the early dawn sun was peeking over the hills, Nasir could see trees surrounding a little village. There were wooden homes, built like grounded tree houses, which blended so seamlessly into the stunning countryside that it was easy to believe they had sprung up out of the ground instead of being built by Zeran hands. It was cool there, a lot cooler than the air at Helow ridge and instead of sand there was grass, waxy green stems and little sun bleached pebbles. There was more nature here than in the world he had constructed for the rebels and somehow this suited them more. It was wild, free and full of life. Just like them.

The Helix had stopped here after hours of being on the road. Nasir had rested, leaning his head back against the metal wall with his eyes closed. Whenever he couldn’t sleep, back at the lab, he would try to meditate, relax his mind and body as much as possible. It was almost impossible for him to think of anything but Agron, his mind just didn’t want to shut down for thoughts of him. He had shown Nasir something he didn’t think anyone else would understand. He knew from the first time Agron had touched him, all covered up in black fabric and hard plastic, that he was someone… different, someone special.

Nasir had thought about what it could mean for him. If he could talk to Agron about his ability, maybe ask him about the things he could do and if they were different to his own power. He would have to build up enough courage to speak more with Agron though. The cage he had built up over the years of his short, tormented life was still there, keeping him inside where he could pretend that he was safe. It wasn’t going to be easy to break through the tough defences, but he had to try. He had a chance now and he knew if he wasted it then he would be a lonely shell of a person forever.

Nasir let his eyes sweep over the little village as he was lead towards it, Agron a steady silent presence at his side and the other rebels walking in a protective half-moon at his back. Even now, after their escape from the creators the men who had saved him were protecting him, keeping him safe, from what Nasir didn’t know, but the gratitude he felt was overwhelming. The rebels had risked their lives for him and he didn’t feel worthy of such consideration. 

The people he could see up ahead looked so different to anyone Nasir had met before, their clothes made and coloured with more earthy tones and fabrics. They were less extravagant than the people who had viewed him at Helow ridge, but they also looked happier. Men and women worked in the fields and children ran and laughed, chasing each other and squealing with delight. It was unlike anything that Nasir was used to. Not clinical or sterile, not violent or demeaning. It was… homely.

Nasir’s steps faltered and he stopped walking, his eyes filling with a deep blue haze. He knew nothing of happiness. Here, his first glimpse of how his life could have been if he hadn’t been taken, used, made his breath catch in his throat.

“Nasir? Hey, you’re okay. Come here.” Agron gently took hold of Nasir’s elbow and guided him to sit down on the grass at the edge of the little path, kneeling down next to him. “Breathe in, deep, that’s it. Now out, in, out…” Agron continued to do this until Nasir felt his eyes clear and his pounding heart calm to a dull throb.

Nasir saw Agron nod and mouth something to Spartacus and the other men. They nodded back to him and then carried on into the village. He turned back to Nasir and smiled. His smile, the one he only used when he looked at Nasir, soothed Nasir and scared him at the same time. Agron couldn’t look at him without smiling, his heart shining out like a beautiful beacon. Nasir lowered his eyes from such a piercing gaze, but apparently he didn’t offend the man.

“We are safe here so you need not worry. There are only a few of us here who know who you are,” Nasir looked back to Agron with a question on his face, but his words were still hard to form, “in fact there is someone I would like you to meet. She will be able to remove the… device behind your ear and well, just make sure you are okay. She’s a doctor, of sorts, and I think you’ll like her. She’s a good woman.”

Agron spoke fondly of this doctor friend of his. Agron trusted her to be near Nasir so Nasir found himself willing to trust this woman he hadn’t yet met. 

He tried to show Agron that he was grateful for the kindness he had been shown. His mouth opened in a small ‘o’ his hands clenching on the knees of his trousers.

“I…” was all he could manage and he looked away, ashamed and suddenly angry with himself.

“Don’t, please… you’ve been through so much and you are so… gods you’re incredible.” 

Nasir blushed but didn’t look up.

“I’m sorry, I talk too much I know. Nasir, you don’t need to say anything right now okay? We have asked a lot of you, wanting you to trust us so easily and you have been so brave. If you feel up to it we can go and meet Nae now?”

Nasir took a deep breath and forced his eyes up. Agron’s cheeks were a little pink, mirroring the flush of heat on his own face. He nodded and accepted Agron’s hand when he offered it. The grip was firm, pulling his small body up with ease. He must weigh nothing to Agron he thought. His blush intensified when his mind conjured up the image of Agron picking him up completely off the ground, his arms, large and strong wrapped around him, holding him close…

“…will be so pleased to finally meet you. She thinks you are going to be a kindred spirit or something.” Agron was talking again, laughing in between words rolling easily off his tongue. Nasir cursed silently, his words frozen when Agron’s burned bright. It was nice to listen to though. Someone actually talking to him. Not at him, through him or over him. He liked to hear Agron’s voice. They walked into the village at a leisurely pace.

“Here we are,” he said, stopping at a large round house with a beautiful ornately carved door. Agron knocked twice and waited, grinning. Nasir could feel the anticipation as he stood waiting.

A woman opened the door a few moments later. She smiled instantly and put a hand over her mouth, a stunned gasp escaping between her fingers.

“Nasir, it’s really you… I can’t believe it! He looks just like you said he would.” The woman looked at Agron and they both laughed. Nasir frowned. How did Agron know what he had looked like?   
“If you’d like to come in,” she smiled and placed a small hand on Nasir’s shoulder, “my name is Naevia. I’m so pleased to meet you finally.”

Nasir took a step forward. He stopped and looked down. His hand was still cradled in Agron’s. He mustn’t have let it go after he helped Nasir to stand, but Nasir hadn’t noticed being so engrossed in the sound of the big man’s voice. Agron opened his fingers slowly… reluctantly? His hand fell to his side shocked at how much he missed the warmth and comfort of such tender contact.

“I won’t be far away. Nae will take good care of you, but if you need me for anything… absolutely anything, I will be close by.” Agron smiled, smaller and unsure before turning away. Nasir watched him go, confused and dizzy and full of a sudden want. He wanted to be close to Agron again. His hands shook.

“He isn’t going far away, I promise.” Naevia spoke softly, guiding Nasir into her home. She closed the door behind them and looked Nasir up and down again. 

“Forgive me, but…” she continued, “I honestly thought he was exaggerating when he told me how beautiful you are, but you are. I’m sorry, again… this must feel like a dream.” Nasir nodded, tired of trying to work out what was going on. “After I remove that thing they put on you, you can eat something. Honestly you look half starved… what the hell did they feed you in that place?” Naevia didn’t seem to expect Nasir to answer she just led him into a large comfortable room with a large bed at the centre. She sat him down on the edge of it and patted his arm. Nasir felt safe here, she might be a stranger to him but the golden glow around her showed him that she had a pure soul.

“Thank you,” Nasir said his eyes stinging, “thank you, thank you… tha…” The tears started to flow hotly down his cheeks. He was saying it to her, to Agron, to the rebels. He couldn’t believe he was here and it was real. He was free. The emotions were bubbling up to the surface and he let out a sob.

Naevia flew to him and clutched his shaking body in her arms.

Nasir cried. He cried for every time he had wanted this day to come and each time he had realised that it never would. He cried knowing that he had given up, lost all hope that he would ever have the chance to live like he had once dreamed. 

Most of all, he cried because he could. The simple, physical reaction made him feel human. He hadn’t felt human in so long he had almost convinced himself that he wasn’t. Not a man, born on Zera like everyone else, but some otherworldly creature, lost and alone. 

Nasir wept and felt alive.


	10. The hidden truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished this and haven't read through it so apologies in advance for mistakes - I will check it at some point! :)

Agron glanced at Naevia's home for what must have been the hundredth time. Nasir had been in there for hours and Agron hadn't seen so much as a shadow move across a window.  
  
Spartacus was talking about the arrival of the clones to their village, about getting Nasir to blend in for the time being so the creators wouldn't be able to see the wood for the trees so to speak. He was leaning over a table, a holomap spread out before him with Crixus at his side.  
  
There were red dots scattered all over the map marking the places that the clones had already been dispatched. Agron glanced at it. The dots were creeping closer to where their village lay and if the intel reports were right a fleet of clones would reach them within days.  
  
"I will speak to Nasir," Spartacus said, waving a hand over the map and watching it tremble and disappear.  
  
"Don't you think I should tell him? He trusts me." Agron frowned. If anyone should be there when Nasir was told, when he found out... Agron shuddered. "What if something happens?"  
  
Spartacus nodded. He knew that when Nasir learned the truth there was a real danger that the young man might lose control and do something that not even the strength of all the rebels combined could stop.  
  
"I know he does," Spartacus answered, his voice low and serious. "I think it would be better coming from someone without such an... emotional attachment. He needs to hear it without the added pressure. He doesn't know about you yet, Agron. I will tell him."  
  
Agron clenched his jaw. Spartacus was their leader yes, but he wasn't always right. He should be the one to tell him. He wanted to be the one... Just in case…

And what Spartacus had said about Nasir not knowing about him wasn’t exactly true. Agron had used his skills to cross over into Nasir’s other life back in the Helix on the way to the village. He hadn’t intended to at first, but when Nasir had smiled at him his hand reached out and touched Nasir before he realised what he was doing.  
  
"Agron, I could use your help with something." Crixus spoke in a tone that was unfamiliar to Agron’s ears. There was a sympathy mixed in with his gravely tone that was never directed at Agron. They had always butted heads, even though they saw each other as trusted brother.  
  
Agron glared at Crixus who had come forward, stepping between the German and the Thracian in an attempt to ease the tension. Agron knew Crixus was attempting to distract him, the grateful nod from Spartacus confirmed this, but it didn't make him feel any better. He had waited for Nasir all his life and now that he was here, but not by his side, Agron felt empty... lost.  
  
"I wouldn't fucking say anything different to what you would say to him. What... what if he needs me there and I'm not. I can't just abandon him."  
  
Spartacus sighed and moved around Crixus to face Agron. He placed a solid hand on the bigger man’s shoulder, his touch firm, but friendly. He was well versed in Agron's temper and knew that his heart burned like wildfire. No one had been able to tame him.  
  
"Nasir means much to all of us. You have to trust me, Agron. I want what’s best for him and for all of us and I want to protect him from all of this as much as you do.” Spartacus looked into Agron’s eyes and nodded.

Agron knew that Spartacus was right. They had all risked so much already and he was selfish by wanting to be close to Nasir all the time. His feelings for him weren’t the main concern and he had to remember that.

“Find me if you… or Nasir needs me for anything.”

With one last look towards Naevia’s home Agron left with Crixus.

Spartacus sat down on the edge of the table and followed his men with his eyes as they made their way towards the storage cabins at the outskirts of the village. He felt his stomach clench at the deceit he was carrying.

Agron was a good man. Loyal, strong and he had been an integral part in their mission to free Nasir, if not the main force in the quest. He had been the one to shine a light on the creator’s plans and cruel treatment of the boy all those years ago, but there was one thing that Agron could not see. For some reason, his development and increasing ability to somehow tap into Nasir’s ‘other life’ and the pain he endured at the hands of the creators had clouded Agron’s eyes to one truth.

It was a truth that Spartacus felt he had to tell Nasir before anybody else.

 

~~~

 

“Would you like some more bread?”

Nasir placed a hand on his belly and smiled gratefully at Naevia. He was not used to such delicious food and he couldn’t manage more than a few bites. Naevia had covered the table in front of him with a beautiful, colourful pile of foods that Nasir felt full at just the sight of it all. There was a light green tint to his eyes, a green that matched the colour of the shining apples in a bowl at the centre of the table.

“Apologies… I don’t think I can,” Nasir said quietly and looked shyly at Naevia.

“Don’t ever apologise, Nasir. You never have to do that again. I wasn’t sure what you would like to eat so I put out a little of everything.”

Naevia smiled and gathered up a few plates. Nasir stood, wanting to help, but Naevia waved a hand and motioned for him to sit.

There was something about the woman that Nasir trusted. She had a grace about her, but a strength too and Nasir wondered if she was a rebel too… like Agron, a warrior.

The green in his eyes melted to a dusky rose. Agron hadn’t been far from his side since he had appeared disguised as one of his protectors. It was odd that now he was nowhere to be seen.

When Nasir met Naevia’s gaze again she was looking at him strangely. Biting his lip, Nasir gathered his courage. He wasn’t used to speaking so much, his voice sounded foreign to him, but he felt safe for the first time and wanted to try to make an effort with these people who had obviously risked their lives to save him.

“You are a healer?”

Naevia nodded and poured some water into two wooden cups. She sat back down at the table and waited for Nasir to speak again. She seemed to know that he needed time to form his thoughts into words and didn’t want to rush him.

“And you have treated the people who live here… the rebels?”

“I try to help anyone who needs it. Most are simple to treat, cuts or fever and sometimes more serious injuries or sickness. I do what I can.” Naevia paused and took a sip of her water. “You can ask about him if you want to. We are friends and you don’t have to worry. This is between us.”

Nasir blushed and looked down at his hands. His heart was beating wildly and the stain of colours blurring his vision were mixing and clashing.

“Drink some water. It will calm you.” Naevia handed him the cup and he sighed as the cool water ran down his throat.

“Gratitude.” He smiled, weakly, but it was something at least.

“You know, Agron is quite clumsy,” Nasir looked up at the mention of Agron’s name and felt the absence of the man as a physical ache. Naevia was very intuitive it seemed and knew who Nasir wanted to ask about. She smiled at him and continued. “He fell down a well once. Had climbed down when one of the children in the village had slipped on the wet stone at the top and tumbled in. Agron went in after the boy and managed to climb back to the top and hand the boy over to his mother, but Agron fell back down. He slipped on the very same stone the boy had slipped on; there was a kind of moss growing on it. He broke his wrist and cut himself pretty badly, but he is as stubborn as a Zeran mule and wouldn’t see me for days. His arm was purple and swollen, but he insisted he was fine. Stupid ass.”

Naevia winked at Nasir making him smile. She sighed and bit her lip.

“Some things aren’t treatable, Nasir. You know of Agron’s gift? Is that what you are wondering about?”

Nasir shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. He didn’t know if Agron would want him to be speaking about what had happened between them, but it was such a shock. That someone else could do what he could do. Naevia knew about Agron so maybe it would be okay?

“He showed me what he could do on the journey here,” Nasir didn’t mention Agron’s homeland or any details. He felt that they were meant for his eyes alone. “I thought I was alone in the world and no one else had the same ability… how… how long?” He faltered, not used to talking as much and for so long.

“How long has he had it?” Naevia asked and Nasir nodded, grateful for her understanding. “It started when he was a child and has developed since then. He doesn’t see colours like you do… I noticed your eyes, Agron doesn’t have that. I know that it started with dreams. He would wake up and think that was all they were, dreams… but after a while he knew that he was seeing other places and other worlds. He kept it to himself for a long time, I think he was afraid, but then he told his brother about it and he made him see that he had no cause to fear and that he was special.”

“Agron has a brother,” Nasir asked, excited at the prospect of meeting one of Agron’s kin.

“No longer,” Naevia said sadly and looked out of the window at a small silvery green bird that was eating from a bush outside. It was clearly a painful subject and Nasir felt a purple inky film cover his eyes. He could sense a deep grief coming from Naevia.

“Apologies, you’re upset…” Nasir shifted again and watched as Naevia smiled sadly before turning her head back to face him.

“Agron’s brother was a sweet, gentle spirit and his loss is felt keenly by everyone who knew him… his brother especially… Duro was Agron’s best friend and the one he shared everything with. All of the strange wonderful things that he was going through he always had Duro by his side. It hasn’t been easy for him… I think the mission to find you has been the only thing keeping him sane sometimes.”

Naevia’s words made Nasir frown. He remembered what she had said to Agron at the door when they arrived, that Nasir was even more beautiful than Agron had said. He hadn’t thought of it since, but now he remembered how odd it was. Agron couldn’t know what he looked like. Even if Agron could go to dream worlds like he could, Nasir would have remembered seeing Agron’s face and in the worlds he had created he had never seen anyone like him before… he didn’t know such a man could exist.

“Agron’s dreams and the mission… they are connected?” Nasir asked cautiously.

“Yes, it has been in Agron’s mind since he was a child, but he only realised what we all had to do a few years ago. His dreams and then his ability to see into other places helped us to find you.”

“I-I don’t understand. How can the worlds that Agron creates have anything to do with me?”

“It is you that Agron sees, Nasir. It always has been… he saw you as a small boy and then when the creators took you, he saw your abilities develop and how they tortured you and made your power stronger,” Naevia’s voice broke a little and she blinked as a tear rolled down her cheek. “He saw the worlds you created to give yourself some peace from the torment you suffered, but he couldn’t reach you. He was an observer, Nasir, only to you. He tried to get through to you and give you some hope, but he couldn’t… maybe it was the distance between you, but you have to know that he tried. He saw what they did to you for all those years and was helpless… I know that is why he fought so fiercely to find you.”

Nasir was breathing heavily, his mouth open to suck in breaths to keep his head from spinning.

Agron had seen Nasir as he grew up and what he had been through at the hands of the creators and the scientists. Had he seen the procedures they put him through, the tests… the times when the master had put his hands on him and…

“Nasir, breath slowly. Take your time,” Naevia said and crouched in front of Nasir holding onto him by his elbows. Nasir’s head was bowed forward and he was having a hard time processing all of the new information that he had been given.

“I would like to see him if I can… is he near?” Nasir whispered and looked towards the front of the house. Naevia had wanted to remove the device behind his ear, but after hearing all of that… Nasir needed to see Agron.

Naevia opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Nasir’s heart skipped and he hoped that it was Agron on the other side.

Naevia stood and put a warm hand on Nasir’s shoulder, squeezing gently and then walking swiftly to open the door. Nasir stayed where he was and tried to compose himself. He didn’t want Agron to worry about him or see him in such a state. He took a few deep breaths, sat up straight and waited.

“Nasir? Spartacus is here. He would like to speak with you.” Naevia stepped towards him and lowered her voice. “Do you feel able to go outside for a walk? Just say if you don’t feel like it just now, he will understand.”

Although he had wanted to see Agron, Nasir was happy to see Spartacus too. He was a brave man who had risked his life for a man he did not know and so Nasir felt he owed him a debt of gratitude he would never be able to repay. He was tired and confused, but he wouldn’t send Spartacus away.

Nasir shook his head. “No, I am well, gratitude.”

Spartacus was standing in the doorway and smiled, friendly and warm, when he saw Nasir approach.

“Apologies for dragging you from rest and better company, but I would have words if you are willing.” Spartacus stepped back into the sunlight and made room for Nasir to follow.

I am,” Nasir said, suddenly shy in the presence of the man. He radiated strength and commanded respect simply by the way he held himself. Nasir was a little in awe of him.

Nodding their goodbyes to Naevia they strolled through the little homes and trees. Nasir could sense that Spartacus was struggling with something, a weight that was causing him distress.

“You have coped well with what we have put you through,” Spartacus said, his eyes on the road ahead.

Nasir wanted to say that what they had done had brought him back to life. They had done something he hadn’t even dared to dream about. He was afraid the words would come out wrong though so he said nothing.

They passed a small group of wooden huts and entered into a clearing which had a large building, wooden like the others, but raised up on stilts at the far end away from where they now stood. There were people milling about, carrying things back and forth. Nasir smiled when he saw Crixus amongst them. He wondered where Agron was.

“There is something I need to tell you and it won’t be easy to hear.” Spartacus looked at him and Nasir could feel the pain in Spartacus’ voice. He nodded for Spartacus to continue hoping he was strong enough to bear what was to come.

“I know you have seen the clones that the scientists have made. Their purpose was kept from you, but you need to know if we are to save the people of Zera. The creators have told the people, the lower classes, that each household will be entitled to one clone. They are to do with them as they please. Use them, beat them… take pleasure from them,” Spartacus clenched his jaw, but the two men never broke eye contact. Spartacus felt a wave of pride for Nasir in that moment. “They say that because of the rising crime rate that the clones will be the new focus for the people and if they are free to express their savage and carnal urges on something that can’t fight back it will end the terror sweeping Zera.”

Nasir frowned. That was the purpose of the clones? All the years of tests and cruelty he had endured had been so that the people of Zera could have a slave that would heal after they beat it and prevent crime in the lower quarter? It seemed… a waste.

“It doesn’t make sense does it?”

Nasir looked at Spartacus who was looking at him earnestly.

“The creators have been lying to the people and to you. The tests they have done on you weren’t for the purpose of recreating your ability to heal so they could clone it. Do you remember, back in your room on Helow Ridge, when you were losing control? The power in you threatened to overpower your senses and Agron calmed you down?”

Nasir nodded, remembering the terror he felt that he might hurt… kill his rebels. He also remembered how Agron had been unafraid and was by his side, comforting and protective. Nasir smiled at the memory.

“You have always had that power, but the scientists harnessed it, intensified it to unimaginable proportions. They turned you into a weapon, Nasir and then they made thousands and thousands of weapons who carry that power inside them. The creators don’t want to eliminate Zera of crime. They want to eliminate Zera of its people.”

Nasir swallowed, his mouth was dry and the sun beating down on his head felt hotter than a moment ago. What Spartacus was saying was… it was…

“They’re insane,” Nasir said, his voice shaking. “Why would they want to do that?”

“They believe the people of Zera are parasites who are a scourge on their divinity. They have the notion that if they eradicate the lower classes they will become like gods and Zera will be theirs to rule over, with the higher classed up on their jewelled hill. You were the means for them to achieve their plan.”

Spartacus patted Nasir on the shoulder and started walking again. Nasir was holding it together well and Spartacus hoped that what he had to tell him next wouldn’t change that.

More people were coming out of the large building, still some way away from Spartacus and Nasir. Agron stepped out into the sunshine and spotted the two men immediately and smiled so wide that Nasir stopped in his tracks. The way Agron looked at him, like he was the light in every darkness in the world. His feelings weren’t guarded at all when it came to Nasir and he glowed with such a beautiful spectrum of colour that Nasir felt dizzy looking at him.

“The way he looks at me,” Nasir muttered, unaware that the words had fallen from his tongue.

“Agron, yes,” Spartacus said sadly. Nasir turned back to him and noticed the way Spartacus looked at Agron and the heartache that was clear to see on his face.

“What is it?” Nasir took a deep breath and readied himself as best he could for the next stroke to fall.

“We have a plan to save the people and if we are right we still have time before the creators move forward with their plans. They have found a way to activate the clones into releasing their power simultaneously and create a shockwave that will vaporize every man, woman and child in its path. Thanks to Agron and his ability,” Spartacus paused, reading Nasir’s face. Nasir nodded, letting Spartacus know that he had been told about what Agron could do. “Thanks to what he has been able to overhear from the scientists we have found a way to seal the clones inside a force field that will contain the blast…”

Spartacus looked back to where Agron was standing. Nasir followed his gaze and met Agron’s eyes. Crixus was yelling at him for not paying attention. Nasir was the cause of his distraction and he felt his cheeks heat up at the pleasant feeling that gave him. It was new and a bit scary, but Agron was so open towards him that it was hard not to enjoy how that made him feel.

“Nasir, I need to tell you something and you should know that Agron has no knowledge of this. I had been hoping that by the time we had freed you that a solution had been found but…”

“A solution?” Nasir wanted to find Agron’s calm eyes again, but forced himself to look at Spartacus. This was important and he wanted to listen carefully.

“The clones will be activated at some point, we aren’t exactly sure when yet, but we haven’t found a way to stop it only how to contain it. Nasir… when the clones are detonated… you will also share the fate of the clones. We don’t know how to stop it… I – I, apologies…”

Spartacus hung his head and Nasir stared. He was going to…die? He hadn’t though he was able to. The thought was a comfort for a second until the full weight of the situation hit him. He was free now, with people who cared about him and he had let himself hope he would be able to keep this paradise that he had never dreamed would ever be his.

But he was going to die.

“Agron doesn’t know. Why hasn’t he been told?” Nasir kept his eyes away from Agron’s line of sight so he couldn’t see the fear in them.

“You know how he feels about you. He has been waiting for you all his life… I know it must be strange for you to hear. You don’t know him, but believe me when I tell you that Agron would give his own life if it was possible to prevent your own from being taken. He has lived with you in his heart and mind for so long…”

_He is in love with you._

Spartacus didn’t need to say the words for Nasir to hear them.

“I am going to tell him, but I wanted you to know first. We haven’t given up trying to find a way to save you and when you have rested I will need to speak with you again. Don’t give up hope, Nasir.”

Nasir shivered and forced a small smile.

“Gratitude, for everything you have done for me.”

Spartacus sighed and pulled Nasir into a tight embrace. “We are lucky to have you here and I promise you I will do everything in my power to help you.”

The two men parted and Nasir’s smile felt easier this time.

“Let’s get back to Nae’s, she will have my head if I keep you for too long.” Spartacus chuckled and let Nasir out of the clearing.

Nasir looked back over his shoulder just before they passed through the trees. He caught Agron’s gaze. He looked concerned, a black mist tainting the brightness that usually covered him.

Nasir’s heart sank and he turned away. Whatever new emotions that were blooming in his heart whenever Agron was near were pointless now. He would never get the chance to explore what they could become.

Agron was going to suffer badly when he found out the truth and Nasir shuddered at the thought of being the cause of a broken heart.

He closed his eyes tight for a second, biting down on his lip and allowed Spartacus to lead him back into the village.

 


	11. I dreamt of you long ago

The first dream Agron ever had of Nasir was short. A shimmer of a scene bathed in golden sunlight.

The little, skinny, dark skinned boy was playing in the grass. Four or so years old, dirty knees and large dark eyes. He was laughing at a butterfly that kept landing in the soft curls tumbling over his eyes and around his ears. The red and blue butterfly danced on the breeze and circled the little wide eyed boy like he was the sweetest flower, something the fluttery creature couldn’t resist. It was mesmerising.

Agron smiled in his sleep and then the image was gone as quickly as it had arrived, leaving the older boy with a warm glow in his heart.

The next dream came a few weeks later.

The little boy was sitting watching a woman, the boy’s mother Agron assumed, mixing flour and spices in a large bowl. The boy held his hands out to her, wriggling his fingers.

“Nasir, my love, you can put in the milk and eggs when mamma is finished stirring.”

The boy wasn’t satisfied with this. He dipped his tiny fingers into the bowl of soft powder, attempting to mix the ingredients with his hands. The woman chuckled, a sound so soft and sweet that Nasir looked up and returned her smile. He rubbed his nose, leaving a white stripe over the bridge and on the plump swell of his cheek.

“My messy little baby,” the woman laughed, putting down the spoon she was holding and wrapping her son in her arms. He laughed with delight and buried his face in her neck, closing his eyes so that the long sweep of his lashes created an ink black smudge on his angelic face.

Agron woke with a start. The dream was so tangible in his mind that it was almost as if he could reach out and touch it. He knew he had seen the little boy before, it couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Nasir,” he said quietly.

Agron was only eight so he didn’t understand for a long time that what he was seeing when he closed his eyes at night weren’t dreams, but visions. His mind had created a window into someone else’s life and Agron was watching a real person growing up and living.

He was never a timid or unsure boy, but something about having this secret made Agron feel guilty and wrong. He kept it from his family for another two years. The dreams became more frequent and by the time he reached his tenth birthday he was seeing Nasir every night. It had become part of Agron and he woke up every morning feeling happy, recalling what his little friend had been doing. Sometimes Nasir would be running with the dogs his mother kept on the little farm they lived on. Nasir liked animals better than people and Agron would often see the boy with some creature perched on his shoulder or pawing at his feet. He was a gentle spirit and Agron wished he knew where he could find him. He wanted to see his friend with his own eyes, not just in his mind’s eye.

Over the years, Agron became aware that he was starting to feel things in these visions. Nasir had been climbing a tree, chasing a pink chameleon into the leaves when his foot caught on a vine and he fell, landing hard on his bum in the dirt. Agron smiled in his sleep as Nasir laughed, scrambled up and leapt into the tree again after his quarry. Agron woke up with a twinkle in his eye and a dark bruise on his buttocks. His injuries were more like an echo of pain, nothing serious but enough for his family to start noticing.

“Agron what happened to your eye?” His mother asked one day, concern adding a shrillness to her voice that Agron didn’t like. He never liked it when his mother was worried. Nasir had been playing catch with some other children when the ball they were throwing had wacked him in the eye. Agron woke up with a shiner and a bit of swelling on his cheekbone.

“It’s nothing. It doesn’t hurt, it didn’t hurt Nasir either. It was an accident when he… when I was playing.”

Agron paled, his slip of the tongue was unexpected, but he was so used to Nasir being in his thoughts he hadn’t realised what he said before it was too late.

“You were playing with a boy called Nasir and he did this to you?”

“No! He didn’t do it… I-I don’t know… please. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Agron ran out of his home leaving his mother standing frozen and staring after him. He didn’t stop until he reached the river and then he waded into his waist and laid back, the cool water running over his skin and calming his trembling body. He touched the tender flesh around his eye and winced. This was wrong, unnatural. If he told his family about it they would think he was a freak.

“Aggy, what are you doing?”

Agron turned in the water at the sound of his little brother’s voice.

“Duro, go away. I’m thinking.”

He turned his back and put his head back into the water. After a few seconds Agron sighed at the sound of his brother splashing into the water and swimming over to him. Agron had a few years on Duro, in fact his brother was only a little older than Nasir, but he was stubborn and wouldn’t let Agron brush him off so easily.

“Wha you thinking about? Your new friend?” Duro circled Agron and flicked water at his face. Agron closed his eyes.

“What are you talking about I don’t have a new friend?” Agron’s heart sped up and he was glad that his bruised eye was a deeper colour than the blush rising on his cheeks.

“Mama told me you have a new friend called Nasir and he hit you in the eye and that you tried to pretend it was you who hurt yourself, but it was him really. Why are you keeping him away from me, huh? You like him better don’t you?”

Duro splashed the water a little harder this time and fat drops sprayed all over Agron’s face. He sighed and turned his head to face Duro who was pouting and frowning like a little thunder god.

“I’m not keeping anyone from you.” Agron stood up in the river and waded a bit deeper until he could tread water. “I just… I can’t explain. You’ll think I’m weird.”

Duro laughed. “I already think you’re weird. Please tell me about your friend. Is he from another village? Uh, he isn’t from Gaullia is he?!”

“I don’t know where he’s from,” Agron said and lowered his eyes to the rippling water. “I’ve never met him and he… he doesn’t know I exist.”

“What? You mean he’s imaginary?” Duro swam a bit closer, as far as he dared to anyway. He was smaller than his brother and not as confident at swimming just yet.

“He’s real. I see him at night and sometimes when he falls over or cuts himself I sort of get hurt too.” Agron looked up at his brother and smashed his fists into the water. Duro was looking at him like he had just been clucking like a chicken instead of speaking English. “See, I knew this was a bad idea! You think I’m a freak!”

Agron swam forward enough so that his feet touched the grainy mud and sand at the bottom of the river and then marched past his bewildered brother and onto the bank. He kicked a stone and stomped into the woods, cursing under his breath at his stupidity. He was so frustrated. He _knew_ that Nasir was real. Even if no one else believed it he had not one single second of doubt.

“Aggy wait!” Duro yelled from behind him. I’m sorry… it’s confusing, but I believe you!”

Agron stopped and turned, watching his brother sprinting to catch up with him.

“You do?” Agron didn’t think Duro was making fun of him. He was a headstrong kid, but there wasn’t any nastiness in him.

“Yeah, I mean, why would you lie?” Duro panted and put his hands on his hips. “Um, Aggy? What’s Nasir like?”

The relief that washed over Agron in that moment was indescribable. He pulled Duro into a tight hug before sitting down and telling Duro everything, from the first time he had seen Nasir to the incident with the ball in his last vision. Duro asked a few questions and nodded as Agron spoke and he listened with a sort of wonder and fascination that Agron had never seen on his face before.

“So you can’t talk to him and he really has no idea that you have seen his life for the last two years?” Duro scratched at a bug bite on his leg and absently picked a dock leaf to rub over the itchy mound.

“No he doesn’t know. I tried to focus just before I fall asleep on a few words that I could try to send to him, but it’s never worked. I don’t know why I can see him but he can’t see me. There is something else weird too…” Duro snorted. “Yes, something else,” Agron laughed and swatted Duro on the arm. “You see this?” He pointed to his eye and Duro nodded. “I bet when I see Nasir tonight his eye will be fine.”

“What, like you are getting the pain and cuts and stuff for him? That sucks.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Agron said, a little huffily. Nasir wasn’t doing anything to hurt him on purpose. “I don’t think Nasir can get hurt. Or, when he does he heals really quickly. Remember the story I told you about when he found a dagger in a drawer and tried to cut up some rope to make a swing for the tree?” Duro nodded again. “Well when he cut himself, I had a cut on my hand the next morning, but the next night I saw Nasir and his hand was completely fine. I don’t know what that means… maybe I’ve gone mad?”

“No more so than you were before this started brother. It does seem strange that Nasir heals so quickly. I think you should tell mother and father about this. They would want to know and you shouldn’t fear. Besides, I will protect you!” Duro stood up and balled his hands into fists and paced around, puffing out his chest and walking on tiptoes to try and stand taller.

Agron laughed and stood up after his brother. He wrapped an arm around Duro’s neck and pulled him into a headlock causing Duro to yell. Agron let him go and Duro laughed. When he saw how Agron was watching him though his laughter died on his tongue and his face went blank.

“Gratitude for believing me and apologies for not telling about this you sooner, I should have known you wouldn’t think less of me. I can’t tell you what it means…” Tears were stinging his eyes and Agron felt very much like a lost child who had been alone for far too long. His brother knew about Nasir now and it gave him strength. He would tell his parents and maybe they would be able to find a way to discover Nasir’s whereabouts.

It was because of the bravery of his little brother that Agron finally told his parents everything. They were hesitant at first, his story did seem fantastical and Agron understood that it was hard for them to take in. With Duro’s help though, they finally came around to the idea of what their son was saying was real.

A few days passed as normal for Agron after that. He would help his father in the fields or train with swords in the day and then at night he would sleep and see Nasir. He felt more content now that his mother and father knew about his ability.

On the third night after he told his family, Agron got into bed a little earlier than usual. When he thought about that night years later he still couldn’t remember why he had done that. He lay down and pulled the blankets up to his chin, shuffling his feet around to create a bit of warmth.

When he was comfortable he let his eyelids fall closed and relaxed as his mind drifted from his world to Nasir’s. He could see a long corridor made of stone and Nasir ran down it quick as a little cat.

It was always light when Agron saw Nasir so he knew that the boy lived far away, the other side of Zera to where he lived. At least that was something. He always tried to remember buildings or interesting things in the landscape that he could try to draw or make a note of in case he needed them to one day find Nasir. It wasn’t easy though. Even unconsciously, his mind focused more on Nasir than his surroundings so he seldom remembered anything other than his far away friend when he woke up.

“Nasir, little one, please stop running on the walls.”

Agron heard Nasir’s mother call out to him, but he didn’t see her face. He watched as Nasir jumped up on the top of a wall made of stone that surrounded a stairway. He turned to his mother and smiled.

“I won’t fall Mama,” Nasir said and laughed.

Agron could feel the crowd that suddenly came rushing up the stairs. He tried to send a warning, some sort of mental alarm that would tell the little boy of the danger he was in. The crowd got closer and closer. Agron could do nothing but watch as Nasir’s little body was knocked roughly, if accidentally, over the edge of the wall.

Nasir’s mother screamed.

Nasir fell and hit the ground, his skull cracking like an egg and a sharp piece of broken pottery cutting a jagged wound in his chest.

Agron gasped and then his heart stopped beating.

 


	12. Stay close

Agron woke with a start.

He gasped for air and sat up quickly… too quickly. Agron’s head swam and a surge of dizziness made his pulse beat uncomfortably against his temples.

He was slumped over the table in one of the rebel’s communal homes, his head resting on his arms. The group shared everything and none had a home that another was not welcome in. After helping Crixus he had walked around and shuffled his feet, aimlessly trying to keep his mind and his eyes from drifting to the still very annoyingly closed door of Naevia’s home. He knew he wasn’t needed, but he couldn’t focus his mind on anything other than the fact that Nasir was actually there. He was free and safe and with them… with him. His secret hopes for this moment paled in comparison to the reality of it.

“Have some wine, brother. You look in need of it,” Gannicus spoke with his familiar humour and passed Agron a cup of wine. Agron jumped, not aware that his fellow rebel had been sitting across from him, his legs propped up on the table.

“How long did I sleep?” Agron downed the wine, a drop trickling from the corner of his mouth. He stood and crossed the room, unconsciously drawn to the window with the best view of Naevia’s house.

“A few hours,” Gannicus said, tilting his head to one side and smiling at his friend. “Do not worry. Nasir is with Nae. She has him firmly tucked under her fierce wing.”

“I should go and see if he is alright.” Agron had been away from Nasir’s side for far too long and he was itching to see the little man again. “I hope Naevia managed to remove that fucking device behind his ear. Fucking barbarians!”

“She sent word to Spartacus that the device was removed. It was difficult, but…”

“Difficult?” Agron’s heart beat faster. He knew all too well that Nasir couldn’t die and any injury he had healed almost instantly, but he could feel pain like anyone else. He was not comfortable with the fact that the people who had saved him from suffering were causing him more by their own hands. It was a necessary evil maybe, but an evil all the same. Surely Nasir had suffered enough.

“Difficult yes, but Nasir had eaten and rested a little and it was nothing worse than what he has been through before. He was fine once it was done. We’ve got a strong one there.”

Agron nodded and sighed. He wanted to run to Nasir, he missed his face and his unsure smile, so sweet in its innocence. He missed him, but he didn’t want to overwhelm him either. Nasir owed him no reciprocation of his feelings and Agron wouldn’t push him.

“Agron… the clones will be arriving in a few days.” Gannicus stood and moved to the window where Agron now stood. “Will you be able to handle it?”

Agron felt a build-up of anger fill his head. He was no child who needed his fucking hand holding. He was a rebel, a warrior and he could deal with anything.

When he turned to look at Gannicus he was surprised to see such a raw and real expression etched on his usually sarcastic grinning face. Gannicus was genuinely concerned about him. Agron lowered his head feeling ashamed.

“I can handle it. It’s what we have been waiting for,” he said and tried to smile but it was only a feeble ghost of a thing. His heart felt heavy and the exhaustion that ran deep in his bones was making him ache. He wanted to run away. Take Nasir far away from here and forget everything. But it was impossible. “We have prepared for this.”

“None can prepare for what you are going through. You shoulder all the weight of it alone and we cannot take the burden from you.”

Agron placed a hand on Gannicus’ shoulder. “But you _do_ help shoulder weight… gratitude.”

“You’re not going to kiss me are you?” Gannicus grinned and smacked Agron’s arm with the palm of his hand. Agron laughed and lunged forward a little, threatening to follow through with his friends joke.

Gannicus punched Agron in the chest and laughed.

“Go and find Nasir and leave me alone to sleep. All this wine makes me long for bed.”

Agron shook his head as Gannicus took a jug of wine and flopped down on the bed and then turned to take Gannicus’ advice. It was time to see Nasir again and face the terrifying questions he would have to answer. He didn’t know how he was going to explain to Nasir about what he was and how he had been with Nasir since he was just a wide eyed, innocent four year old chasing butterflies and playing in the fields. How was he going to tell Nasir that he had fallen in love with him and never sought out anyone for companionship or intimate touches because Nasir was the only one who held his heart? He couldn’t, not that.

Agron strolled through the village with a million thoughts clamouring for dominance in his head. What should he tell Nasir first? He supposed explaining what he had done on the journey to the village would be a start. He took a deep breath and quickened his pace towards Naevia’s, trying to keep his anxiety to a minimum.

When he reached the house he knocked on the door and waited. Normally he would walk in, Naevia insisted that people should feel free to come and go as they pleased, but with Nasir inside Agron felt he should respect his privacy.

“Agron,” Naevia said and smiled at her friend.

“I, um, wanted to know if I could do anything… or maybe see Nasir for a moment, if he wants to… should I come back tomorrow?”

Naevia took Agron by the hand and pulled him through the door.

“He’s through there.” She pointed through to another room. Agron wasn’t able to look inside from where they stood, but from the way Naevia was keeping her voice low he had the feeling that it was her intention. “I lit a fire and he has been sitting by it since he came back from seeing Spartacus.”

“It will have been a shock. Maybe I should come back tomorrow, once he has had the night to sleep and clear his mind. I don’t want to add to any discomfort or…”

“He has been asking after you,” Naevia said, interrupting Agron’s words. “I don’t really think he knows that he’s doing it. He wants to see you.” She handed Agron a blanket and some clothes to replace the black clothes Nasir was still wearing from their escape. “Here, take these in to him and talk to him. I think you being here will help him deal with all of this.”

Agron nodded and held the bundle of cloth to his chest walking slowly into the other room. Nasir was sitting next to the fire, the orange light of the flames dancing on the slick black gloss of his hair. His eyes were distant and sad.

“Nasir?” Agron stopped, not wanting to intrude, but Nasir smiled when he saw him and Agron’s nerves dissolved. He moved again and knelt down on the soft mat in front of the warm fire. “I have new clothes and a blanket for you. It gets cold here at night.”

Nasir accepted the clothing and blanket with a small smile.

“Thank you, I would like to change out of these,” he said softly and pulled at the black fabric of his tunic. “It will be the last thing of that life that I can remove.” Nasir ran his hand over the smooth skin under his ear.

“Are you okay?” Agron frowned. What Nasir had said about removing the last piece of his old life was true, but only partly. He could remove the physical evidence like the device behind his ear and the clothes, but the mental scars would be harder to erase.

“I’ve had that thing on me since I was… ten? I can’t remember. It feels like forever though.” Nasir looked down and a strand of his hair fell loose of the tight bun he still wore. Unconsciously, like it was programmed into him, Nasir sat up and pushed the strand back against his head until it was smooth again.

“Wait,” Agron leaned forward, his hand hovering just to the side of Nasir’s face. “May I?”

Nasir looked confused for a second.

“My hair…? Um, okay.”

Agron let out a breath and reached around to pull the cord fixing Nasir’s hair up out and freeing the raven locks. His hair fell down his back and Agron threaded his hand, fingers splayed, through the silky smoothness, moving it around to tumble over Nasir’s shoulder.

Nasir looked so different like this, softer and more… himself somehow. He was watching Agron with curiosity and something that might have looked like affection, but Agron didn’t dare believe it. It warmed his heart though despite his fear. With one last touch he removed his hand and smiled at Nasir warmly.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time… apologies, you don’t mind that I…”

“No, I hated that they made me tie it up. It’s too tight and this,” Nasir touched his own hair that now trailed past his shoulders, “feels nice, gratitude.”

They both sat for a while, a comfortable silence and the warm fire surrounding them. Agron watched the flames, but he could sense Nasir stealing glances at him.

“Agron, can I ask you something?” Nasir’s voice was quiet but steady.

“Anything,” Agron said and turned to face Nasir again.

“Naevia told me something. That you had dreamed of me since you were a child. Is that true?”

It seemed that Nasir didn’t want to talk about his conversation with Spartacus. Agron didn’t blame him. Discovering that you had been groomed into a weapon to kill millions would stun the strongest of men. Nasir was the strongest man Agron had met and how he was holding it together amazed him.

“Yes, but they weren’t dreams, they were you… um, more like visions of your life as though I were looking through a window. At first it was just seeing you and your life, but when you were taken and they started…” Agron shook his head. He was angry, so angry about what Nasir had been made to endure, but he refused to let Nasir know just how badly it had been for him too.

“The experiments? You saw that too?”

“Yes… when they started doing that to you I saw the worlds you created in your mind. You did it to keep you safe from them didn’t you? So that who you are could carry on living when the outside you was being tortured. Do you know how amazing that is? Most people would have been broken, I know I would have, but you… you kept who you are, deep inside and not even those evil fucks could reach you there.”

Nasir blushed. He wasn’t used to compliments, not real ones. The master would tell him how beautiful he was or how much he liked to touch him and fuck him, but Nasir hadn’t heard a single truth from that snake’s lips.

But Agron… he was real.

“I didn’t know what I was seeing at first. I remember,” Agron laughed softly and looked past Nasir’s shoulder, his eyes drifting, “I remember the night when I first saw one of your creations. I was so confused. You were in a forest and it was so green and beautiful, nothing like the place they… where they had you. You were walking around and just looking at everything, touching the plants and I could tell that it was you, the real, smart, happy kid that you were before you were taken.”

“I can’t remember ever being like that,” Nasir said sadly. The memories of being a child, even of his mother had been pushed out of his mind over the years by the insistent torment.

“I could tell you about it,” Agron said.

Nasir flinched and looked down at his hands. The thought of hearing about his own life when he was happy and free was just too much, too soon. Agron knew more about him than he did himself and it was strange.

“Another time okay?” Agron smiled as Nasir looked up under heavy lidded eyes. “You should rest. I have taken up too much of your time already.”

When Agron started to stand he tried to ignore the pull on his heart and the twist of disappointment that Nasir was letting him go. He made it to the doorway before he heard Nasir speak, his words barely a whisper.

“Do you have to go?” he said, tired eyes watching the fire again. “I don’t think I can sleep… alone, I-I just…” Nasir closed his eyes tight. “Would you stay, until I fall asleep?”

Nasir shuffled on the plush rug by the fire and looked so vulnerable that for a moment Agron couldn’t speak.

“Of course I will stay. For as long as you need. Here,” Agron pulled a few cushions from the chair by the window and placed them on the rug and then took the blanket from Nasir’s lap and opened it out. “Lie down,” he asked and Nasir did so. Agron wasn’t ordering him and Nasir wasn’t obeying. It was a simple act of trust and the blossoming friendship between them that Nasir was still too frightened to acknowledge too closely.

Once Nasir was snug, far enough away from the fire that it wasn’t too hot but close enough that it covered his body in a comforting embrace and lulling him to sleep, Agron draped the blanket over him and lay down. He kept his distance. Not touching Nasir at all, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t feel him everywhere, in every cell and fibre of his body, etched in his bones, his name written on his soul.

“Agron, did you ever wish you didn’t have your ability?” Nasir turned his head to look at Agron. His eyes were clear; no colour in them at all and his breathing was even. Agron on the other hand was radiating his emotions like a wave crashing onto rocks. The ever present red was pouring out of him. His love, but there were other colours there too and Nasir didn’t know what they meant. He wondered what colour he would see when Agron was told about his fate.

“No, no I never have. Even as a child when it was scary and I felt alone I never wished it would go away. It’s part of me and I would never have known you if I didn’t have it.” Agron turned away from staring at the ceiling and looked at the little man lying next to him. He smiled. “I can’t believe I have actually met you after all these years.”

The red mist intensified and Nasir returned Agron’s smile, his eyes sliding shut.

“Gratitude,” Nasir whispered as sleep finally took hold of him.

“For what?”

Nasir curled up tighter, his hand tucked under his chin, his beautiful dark hair free and wild cascading down his back.

“For knowing me.”

Agron watched Nasir sleep until the dark of night and the dwindling flames dimmed his view. He felt content for the first time in his life.

Whatever happened in the days, weeks, months to come he would not let Nasir suffer again.

 

 

 


	13. Bonded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in updates. Writing is not my friend right now and I am struggling to get anything half decent written so this is just a short flashback chapter. Apologies again but I promise I am trying. <3 Gratitude!

Sometimes, when Duro had a nightmare or couldn’t sleep, he would crawl into bed with his brother.

Agron would moan and tell him he was getting too old for it, but he always scooted over and made room for him to get under the blanket.

Agron had never been so cold before, so still.

“Agron,” Duro whispered into the night. He placed his hand on his brother’s wrist and rubbed at the cool flesh, knowing he would not feel the steady pulse of a heartbeat.

Duro moved closer, drawing his little legs up to Agron’s side, he curled up and put his head on his brother’s stomach, tears slipping down his cheeks.

He stayed like that for most of the night, looking up at Agron’s face every now and then, imagining that he heard a breath pass his lips.

When Duro had exhausted himself from crying he started to drift into a fitful half sleep. Agron’s body was like an anchor, keeping him fixed in the present, but his heavy eyes dragged him into darkness.

Dreams came at him like wild animals, clawing and scratching with claws and teeth and no matter how fast he ran he would always be knocked to the ground and thrown into the dirt. He could hear Agron’s voice, clear as a bell, calling out to him. He was scared and alone. He couldn’t see Agron, but he could feel his presence.

Suddenly, he felt a solid warmth gripping the back of his neck and she tried desperately to shake off his invisible attacker.

“Duro, wake up, it’s okay you’re dreaming.”

The sound of Agron’s voice snapped Duro out of his dream. His eyes flew open and a despairing sob fell from his mouth.

“You should go back to your own bed, Duro. I feel unwell, you could catch something.” Agron’s voice was raspy and he scrunched up his face in confusion. Duro watched as his brother seemed to come to his senses in the morning light. “Nasir! Fuck, I think he is hurt,” Agron sat up quickly, closing his eyes for a moment, his head swimming. “Duro, I saw him fall… I think he is dead!”

“Fuck Nasir!” Duro yelled. “You were dead, Agron! I don’t give a shit about Nasir.”

“What are you talking about?” Agron was shocked at Duro’s outburst, but could see that his brother was genuinely distressed.

"I-I had a nightmare and came in here to you… you were dead and cold and not breathing. I lost you and all you can think of is Nasir…” Duro broke down and wept, pushing away Agron’s hands when they offered comfort.

“Duro…”

“No!” Duro leapt off the bed and started to pace around the room, clenching and unclenching his hands. “I lost you Aggy… you left me!”

“I didn’t mean too… I can’t control it. When,” Agron paused, not daring to say Nasir’s name out loud again, “when he gets hurt, I get hurt. You know that. Apologies, I know you are scared, brother.”

“You don’t know anything. You don’t see what this is doing to you, but I do. He is all you think about and now it is worse… he gets hurt, you get hurt. You don’t know how scared I am and I wish you had never laid eyes on fucking Nasir!”

Duro sprinted out of the room and ran, his feet catching on sharp stones. He ran until he came to the edge of the village and his lungs were burning. All that time he had clung to his brother, praying to the gods that he would wake up, asking to be taken in his place and now Agron was alive and Duro was mad as hell.

“Selfish, fucking…” he mumbled, stomping his foot in the dust.

Duro waded into the water, shivering and hissing at the sensation on his feverishly hot skin. Silvery blue fish tickled his calves as they swam past and he laughed, a distant memory creeping into his mind.

Agron had always talked to Duro about his visions and would enjoy telling him new things he learned about Nasir. Once, Agron had explained that he had tried to figure out which animal was Nasir’s favourite, but it was turning out to be impossible.

“ _He likes birds one day and spiders the next. He must like something more than others.”_

 _“Why does it matter?”_ Duro was confused why Agron cared so much.

“ _I just want to know. I can’t ask him can I?_ ”

Agron looked sad and frustrated and Duro realised just how hurt his brother was. Nasir was important to him, but he couldn’t even ask a simple, childish question like what his favourite animal was.

Days past and Agron moped around the village with a frown fixed on his face, shrugging off Duro’s attempts to cheer him up.  He wished that Agron could talk to his friend. He didn’t like it when his brother was sad and he had no way of making him feel better.

It was another week until Agron came running, crushing his brother in a bear hug and grinning wildly.

“ _Fish! It’s fish!_ ”

 _“What is… um, fish for supper?_ ”

Duro was rewarded with a slap to the head.

“ _No, idiot, Nasir’s favourite. I found out last night, it’s fish. He went to a little stream and was telling his mother all about the little fish that lived there. He told her that they were his favourite._ ”

Agron was bouncing on his heels and out of breath by the time he finished speaking. The joy was radiating off him.

The memory faded and Duro shivered again in the water.

“Duro, where are you?” Agron’s voice, weak and low, startled Duro and he turned to see his brother walking slowly towards the river. He looked deathly pale still and his eyes were surrounded by a dark shadow.

Guilt made his stomach twist in pain. He knew how important Nasir was to his brother.

“Agron, wait… stop walking.” Duro ran and caught Agron as his legs began to buckle. He sat Agron down on the ground and wrapped his arm around his back, letting his brother steady his erratic breathing.

“Apologies, Duro… you are right. I-I will try not to talk about him so much…” Agron spoke softly, his eyes closed and his hands resting on his knees.

“No, I spoke in anger, the apology is mine. I don’t hate Nasir.” Duro put his head on Agron’s shoulder and sighed.

“Gratitude.”

They sat like that until the sun crept over the horizon. Villagers were stirring and leaving their homes to start another day of work and the brothers stood up to return to their own home. Duro kept a firm hand on Agron’s elbow and made sure he didn’t exhaust himself by walking too quickly.

“We cannot tell mother and father about this,” Agron said as they entered their home.

“We have too,” Duro stopped and looked at his brother in horror. “What if it happens again?”

Agron motioned Duro back into his room and sat down heavily on the bed.

“I am going to tell them about how I get hurt whenever Nasir does, but this…” Agron looked up. He looked terrified. “How can I explain this? I was dead because Nasir died… how can I tell our parents that my life is connected to Nasir like this. They accepted my visions, but…”

“You have to trust them, Aggy. Please, I can’t go through that alone, not again.” Duro sat on the bed next to Agron and felt tears burning in his eyes.

Agron pulled Duro close and propped his chin on top of his little dreadlocked head. He would do anything if it meant Duro didn’t have to experience that again. The death of his brother, someone he looked up to and loved above all others. Agron was scared, but he would go to his parents as soon as they rose from sleep. It was the least he could do to make it right with Duro again.

“D-do you think Nasir is alright?” Duro sniffled and curled up on Agron’s lap who was now leaning against the wall.

Agron smiled. “He is alive, that is all I am sure of. My heart still beats because his does… wherever he is. I don’t know what anything means anymore.”

Agron closed his eyes and recalled the last time he had seen Nasir the look on his face as he fell, the scream from his mother’s lips and the sickening sound as he hit the ground. His head throbbed at the memory, an aftershock of the pain that Nasir must be feeling.

Leaning forward, Agron pulled the blanket over his sleeping brother and closed his eyes again, listening to the steady sound of his breathing. He could never let Duro see how much this new discovery had affected him. There was something more, a bond that he didn’t yet understand, growing between himself and Nasir. It was almost like their souls were connected.

He sighed, wondering if Nasir knew he wasn’t alone. That he would never be alone as long as Agron watched over him.

Sleep came and Agron did not see Nasir.

The only thing he saw was a man standing in the corner of Nasir’s room. He had dark wavy hair and eyes the colour of sand. He was holding Nasir’s mother and talking in a soothing tone that made Agron want to scream. The man looked over to where Agron knew Nasir must be lying and his lips curled into a malicious grin.

“I will take care of him now,” the man whispered and licked his lips.

 


	14. No debt owed

Agron woke up slowly to the feeling of a soft warm hand stroking his forehead. He smiled, thinking about Nasir and opened his eyes to the bright morning.

“Shhh.”

He looked up to see Naevia above him.

“Nasir still sleeps, but I have to talk to you.”

Agron nodded and rubbed his eyes. Nasir was asleep right next to him and there was a contented look on his face. It was unusual not to see the usual drawn tension on his beautiful features that Agron was so used to. He followed Naevia out of the room, the ache in his heart when Nasir wasn’t close making his breath hitch.

“How are you feeling?” Naevia asked and handed him some water.

“No worse than usual, Naevia. In fact I feel rested for once. I did not dream, not of anything, do you think that is because Nasir is here now?”

Naevia nodded and sat at the table motioning for Agron to do the same.

“I believe the window you have only works when Nasir is far from you. Now that he is here… Agron, how are you dealing with that, and the way you feel about him?”

Agron shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t expect anything… he doesn’t know me and has no obligation to me. How I feel doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does.”

“No, it doesn’t. I helped to save him from that life, he’s safe now and here with us and he can do what he wants. He is a free man. I will not make him feel like I am owed a debt.”

Naevia looked at him sadly. She knew that what Agron was saying was right for Nasir, but she couldn’t help but feel the pain in Agron’s words. He loved Nasir so much that he was consumed by it and with Nasir suddenly very present in his life, Naevia worried that Agron would suffer.

“Duro used to give me the same look sometimes,” Agron smiled. “I’m not going to go mad or jump of a cliff. He is safe… that is all that matters to me and when this is over, if he wants to leave and never see me again then that is what he can do. I’m not important, Naevia.”

He took a sip of water and sat back. His attitude was worse than Naevia had feared.

“I want to see you tonight to talk about getting you off the suppressors. Now Nasir is close you should try going without them. We will ease you off gradually and see how you cope and then take you off them completely.”

“What happens after… if he decides to leave?” Agron spoke, but the words sounded numb and empty, like the very thought of Nasir leaving killed him inside.

“If that is the case we will deal with it then. Right now I want to take care of you. Agron, despite what you may think, you are important… more than you know and I hope you see that in time.”

Grumbling something unintelligible Agron stood and filled his cup again.

“He has a difficult time ahead of him. He will need you…” Naevia paused when the sound of steady feet hovering in the doorway caught her attention.

Nasir looked awkward and shy, but a lot stronger than he had the day before. It was as though being close to Agron’s heart all night had rejuvenated him.

“I am interrupting… apologies.”

“You weren’t interrupting at all,” Naevia said cheerfully and went over to gather Nasir in her arms. He blushed when he saw Agron watching them fondly.

“Did you sleep well?” Agron asked, his voice careful and controlled.

Nasir frowned. The colour coming off Agron was as strong as it always was, red and intense, but he was holding himself back.

“I did, better than I have ever slept actually.” Nasir was led into the kitchen and kept his eyes on Agron. He could tell that Agron wanted to touch him, his face or hand; some form of contact, but he made no move to. “Did you sleep?”

Agron laughed a soft and sad sound. “I slept, yes.” He loved the concern Nasir showed. After all he had been through there was still a purity and innocence in his soul that no master or creator could tarnish. If Agron could fall more in love with Nasir then he would, but that wasn’t possible.

Naevia placed bread and fruit on the table and pushed at Agron’s arm. “You need to eat too. Sit down and I will go and find Spartacus to tell him Nasir is awake.”

As Naevia left the room, Nasir’s eyes changed to a dull blue and Agron tilted his head curiously.

“What’s wrong?”

Nasir frowned and nibbled on some bread. “What makes you think something is wrong?”

“I know your colours like I know my own name. I suppose I’ve learned to read them over the years.” Agron took an apple and a knife and cut it in half. He handed one piece to Nasir and bit into his own.

“I am sorry… for the pain I caused you. Naevia explained that your ability is different to mine and that it was me that you saw at night… that you tried to help me and you saw all the things they did.  I wish you hadn’t had to go through that. I-I don’t know how I can ever tell you how sorry I am.”

“I wouldn’t change it, Nasir. You were the best thing to ever happen to me…” Agron kept his eyes on Nasir, not wanting to falter or mix up his words. “I would change what they did, but never the pain I shared with you. I’ve never been alone in my life thanks to you… not even when I lost my brother. I could rely on you.”

Nasir’s eyes changed slowly from blue to green, swirling like paint in water. No one relied on him, ever. Nasir didn’t understand.

“I haven’t done anything good for you… you should hate me. I know you don’t, I can feel it, but you should. I don’t do anything but cause pain.”

Agron shook his head and smiled like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“When you said you shared my pain, what did you mean?” Nasir continued, determined now to discover the full extent to which he had taken over this man’s life. He was angry that Agron loved him when he did not deserve it. “What did you feel Agron… when they cut me, when they pushed needles into my skin, in my eyes? Did you feel that too? Did you feel it when they touched me… forced themselves on me?”

“Stop it,” Agron said, his jaw clenched and his eyes closed tight.

“You felt it all didn’t you?” Nasir’s voice was shaking and a bright spark skittered from his eye and across the table

“Nasir, please…”

Agron was out of his chair and kneeling in front of Nasir in a second.  

Nasir was shaking his head. “Tell me, tell me if you felt all that.” More sparks were falling now like tiny stars and they burned Agron’s arms. He didn’t care, he barely felt them.

“I will, but I need you to calm down alright? Listen to my voice and breathe for me.” He touched Nasir’s hands softly and almost immediately his breathing steadied. Agron’s fingertips tingled. “Please, don’t… don’t be upset about this.”

“I hurt you,” Nasir whispered.

“You never hurt me, you didn’t know and even if you did you had no control over it.”

Nasir looked up, his eyes wide and wet, but clear now and so focused that Agron could imagine that he could see into his soul.

“How bad was it… please, I need to know?”

Agron had never intended to tell Nasir about it. About the screaming, the torture, the cold unfeeling hands in the dead of night. Agron had felt everything that Nasir had… for years.

“It was bad,” Agron said his voice steady and calm. “Anything you felt, I felt, but I didn’t mind.”

Nasir frowned, still shaking, but calmer now that Agron was so close.

“It sounds strange…  I’m not explaining myself well. I thought that maybe I was taking away some of your suffering.”

Agron lowered his head; the shame at knowing he had done no such thing was too much to bear. Nasir watched him curiously. This man knew him better than anyone else in the world, better than he knew himself even. And Agron loved him… it was something Nasir was so sure of, as sure as knowing that the sun would always rise.

Nasir slid one hand out from under Agron’s and tentatively reached out. He realised that he had never touched the man before. It was always Agron who found some way to place a soothing, gentle hand upon him. The first soft strands of Agron’s hair move like satin under Nasir’s fingertips. The first touch is just a whisper. When Agron exhales, Nasir feels the warm breath move against the cloth covering his legs. He braves pushing his fingers harder over Agron’s scalp, feeling every ridge of bone and the rise and fall where a scar is hidden from sight.

He can feel Agron’s pain. It’s muted somehow and it has the sensation of pins and needles.

Agron bows his head lower until the bridge of his nose and his forehead are cradled against Nasir’s knees.

The silence in the room surrounded them, creating a pocket of solitude. Nasir ran his hand down the back of Agron’s neck to the top of his spine.

“I always felt alone,” Nasir whispered. “I had no one who cared about me. I couldn’t remember my mother or what happened to her after I was taken. Even the worlds I created never truly comforted me… but I know now that you were with me.”

Nasir felt Agron press his face harder into his leg, how his face screwed up when the tears started to fall. Letting go of the back of Agron’s neck, he tucked his fingers under Agron’s chin and lifted his head up. Agron looked exhausted, full of pain and guilt and fear and love… a million more emotions that Nasir could not name.

“Thank you,” he said, wiping away Agron’s tears even as more of them fell.

Agron shook his head and drew in a shaky breath. There was so much he needed to say, but words escaped him. He clung onto Nasir’s hand like it was the last real thing holding him together.

_I love you so much._

Nasir heard it even though Agron had only thought it. The room was filled with a red mist and that was the only thing Nasir needed to see to know what Agron was feeling.

A quiet cough came from the doorway and Agron stood up hastily, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

“Nasir,” Spartacus observed the young man sitting frozen at the table and then his eyes swept over to Agron. His back was to them all. “I wanted to speak with you if you are feeling strong enough?”

Nasir knew time was against them, he was to be briefed on the plans ahead of them all. He wanted to tell them that he was not the strong one, but he nodded lightly instead and stood up. He looked at Agron quickly before letting Spartacus guide him from the room.

“He will be with you shortly,” Naevia whispered to Nasir as he passed her.

“Take care of him,” Nasir said softly. He knew that she would, but he had to say it.

She nodded and kissed Nasir’s cheek.

When they had gone Naevia approached Agron. She held onto his arm and turned him to face her and even though he resisted at first she would not let him shy away from her.

Agron broke in her arms.


	15. Drink, brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't like this chapter. Feels like a filler and nothing happens. Apologies.

Nasir followed Spartacus back into the village. He was still shocked by the revelation that Agron had been through everything that he had. Every moment of pain and fear he had suffered through it and seen Nasir suffer it as well.

He recalled some of the worst experiments the scientists had done to him. They had opened him up once, his chest and his ribs, to see inside. Nasir remembered them injecting things into his organs as he screamed, his body trying to close up and heal itself but being forced apart by bright, shining metal. He wondered if Agron had screamed too.

  
“I know we are pushing you, Nasir, but after today you will have a few days to rest before the clones arrive.”

  
Nasir nodded, broken from his memories by Spartacus’ words. “Gratitude, I would like that, to see how normal people live.”

  
Spartacus looked at him, a sad look passing over his serious face. “You are normal. Hopefully after some time with us you will begin to feel it again.”

  
Nasir looked down at the ground and focused on the sweep of grass passing under his feet. To feel normal was unimaginable. He knew the rebels were kind and didn’t fear him, they had said it themselves that he was one of them now. But to feel normal?

  
“Normal is nothing. It’s who we are that truly matters, not if we can run the fastest, hold our breaths under water, or see into people’s minds. Agron is not an outsider here and yet his abilities aren’t like what the rest of us can do. You are who you are, Nasir, and one day you will see how precious that is.”

  
Nasir looked at Spartacus for a moment before lowering his gaze again. Taking a deep breath he tried to imagine feeling just like a man, one of the rebels and not like a freak. He wondered if Agron felt like he did. He rubbed his fingers together, imagining he could still feel the dampness of his tears on his skin.

  
“When are you going to tell Agron about what’s going to happen to me?”

  
Spartacus’ steps slowed, but he kept them moving forward.

  
“I’ve wanted to for so long. I don’t know how to. He…” Spartacus paused and placed a hand on Nasir’s shoulder. “I don’t think he will accept it.”

  
“But if I tell him, maybe he will believe it. He has to know.”

  
“I don’t want to give you the burden of it.”

  
Nasir frowned, thinking hard. It wasn’t that telling him was a burden. He felt that Agron would push the information away if it fell from anyone else’s lips. It was more that he wanted to be able to comfort Agron when he found out that he was going to lose someone he had waited for all of his life.

  
“I think I should tell him. I want to.”

  
“Whenever you feel ready.” Spartacus nodded, admiration shining for the young man in front of him. “Come, let’s go and find the others.”

  
They walked to a wooden home set back into the trees. It was larger than Naevia’s and Nasir could see a fence surrounding a large area of scrub land at the back. He turned his head to look back at where he had left Agron. It was a strange sensation to feel lost without his safe presence after such a short time. Agron must have lived in that state for most of his life. Lost without someone he cared about so much. Nasir shuddered at the thought.

  
As if conjured out of Nasir’s mind, Agron stepped from Naevia’s home with Naevia following shortly after. Their eyes met and Nasir smiled. Whatever happened between them, he could always trust that Agron wouldn’t be long from his side.

  
He turned back to Spartacus, who was watching him with a fondness in his eyes. Nasir blushed and walked inside.  
  
“Here he is!” Gannicus stood up from where he was draped over a beautiful blonde haired woman and slung his arm over Nasir’s shoulders. “Have a drink, brother.”

Nasir eyed the cup that was suddenly thrust into his hand and then looked to Spartacus for advice. Even now he still felt like he needed permission from someone before he did anything.

Spartacus merely shrugged and tilted his head. The decision was Nasir’s.

“Getting him drunk? I’m surprised it took you this long,” Agron’s voice rang out, filling the room with its sound. Nasir visibly jumped. It was a mystery how such a large man could creep up on him unexpectedly.

“We are celebrating are we not? Nasir is the guest of honour so he must drink!” Gannicus’ words were slurred and Nasir bit back a grin. It was a nice change to see someone happy amongst the usual serious faces.

“I’ve never had this before,” Nasir said softly, moving away from Spartacus to speak to Agron. He sniffed at the dark, jewel liquid in the cup and wrinkled his nose. “What is special about it? What does it do?”

Agron smiled and took a cup of wine for himself. He was relieved that Nasir didn’t feel awkward around him now. Naevia had comforted him, but he hadn’t allowed himself to stay in her arms for long. His strength had to stay as a wall around his heart. The days to come would test him and if he let those walks crack he might not be able to protect Nasir. He took a long pull of the cool wine and sighed.

“It will relax you, make you feel… light. But I would stick to the one cup for now, little man. It can make you sick if you aren’t careful.”

Nasir’s eyes widened at that and carefully he brought the cup to his mouth. He took the smallest of sips and smacked his lips together.

“Mmm, it tastes funny. It’s bitter.”

Agron laughed and Nasir smiled at him, not sure what was funny, but glad to see Agron smile again. It was so much better than seeing him cry.

“It might take some getting used to. I’ll get you some water.”

The ever present red mist seeping from Agron’s skin intensified. It moved around them both, capturing them in a pocket of light, unseen by the others in the room. When it touched Nasir’s skin he felt warm. He looked at Agron and knew that he wanted to touch him. For Agron it seemed like instinct, impulse. Nasir took the decision out of his hands. He reached out, letting his hand lay flat on Agron’s arm.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll keep this. I could get used to the taste.”

Agron couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. Nasir almost looked like he was enjoying himself. It was nice.

“Nasir, Nasir, you must come and meet Saxa.” Gannicus interrupted and Agron broke eye contact, looking away self-consciously. The red retreated into his skin and Nasir’s heart clenched. He didn’t know what that meant. His hand moved away from Agron and dropped back down to his side.

“Yes, I would like that,” Nasir replied, not exactly lying, but not really wanting to leave Agron’s side.

“I will, um, go and find Spartacus. He will want to speak with you soon.” Agron nodded at Gannicus and then looked at Nasir. His cheeks were a little pink from the wine, but he looked relaxed.

Gannicus was growing impatient so he slung an arm around Nasir’s waist and guided him through the room.

Agron ignored the pain in his head.

***

Naevia watched Agron from across the room and frowned.

“Don’t get involved. It’s between them,” Crixus handed her a drink and smiled. “You might not be able to fix this one.”

“He just looks so lost. He finally has what he wants, but he doesn’t have what he needs.”

Crixus took her hand and squeezed gently.

“Nasir will need time. Agron knows and accepts this and he has no intention of putting pressure on him. You have to let Agron hurt. You want to protect him, we all do, but this might not work the way you want it to.”

Naevia searched the room for Nasir and found him looking slightly confused at Saxa. It was painful to watch him, knowing the fate that awaited. One they seemed powerless to change. Nasir smiled, bright and alive and then his head turned slightly when Agron walked back into the room. Nasir couldn’t see him, but he knew he was near.

“I think we are underestimating them both. I won’t give up on them.”

Crixus moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders.

“You mistake my intent. I want only happiness for them. But they have to walk their own paths to find it and those paths may never connect.”

Naevia shook her head and pulled Crixus to her, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

“I only see destiny,” she said, smiling as Agron tried his best not to be obvious about moving closer to Nasir. “Whatever the gods decide, they are bonded. It’s bigger than anything… bigger than love.”

Crixus pulled back and looked deep into her eyes. He kissed her and kept their foreheads touching.

“Nothing is bigger than love.”

***

“Little man drinks like German!” Saxa bellowed.

Nasir smiled around his second cup, it’s contents dangerously low. He didn’t know what Agron was talking about. Wine made you feel great not sick. His belly felt warm and whenever he moved it felt like there were warm clouds under his feet. Wine was great.

“I think I could manage some more.”

Agron, on the edge of the conversation wanted to intervene, but didn’t know if he would be overstepping. It was obvious Nasir was a little intoxicated. It was the first time he had tasted wine in his life and Agron wanted him to enjoy it, but Gannicus and Saxa were a bad influence.

“Gannicus, Spartacus would like to speak to Nasir soon. It would be nice if he were conscious to hear the words,” Agron said, strolling casually over to the group.

“No, not now, brother. He’s having to much fun for it to end with serious words in dark corners. Nasir, more wine!”

Nasir looked curiously at Agron’s face, his dark eyelashes low on his drooping lids.

“I’ve never felt like this before. Can I stay and… have more wine. It’s not making me feel sick.”

Agron couldn’t help but smile at the slurred plea. He sighed.

“It will, trust me. I will go and tell Spartacus he must wait until tomorrow. It can hold until then.”

Nasir reached out and touched Agron’s arm again, feeling the man tremble under his fingertips.

“You will come back?”

Agron heard the question but he also heard the command. Anything Nasir asked of him he would do.

“I will.” Always, he added silently.

Nasir kept his eyes on Agron as he left to find Spartacus. He was hiding his embarrassment at his earlier emotions well, but Nasir couldn’t figure out why Agron was keeping him at a distance. He had always been eager to be close, to touch and have his green eyes always upon him. Now, he was guarded, hesitant. Maybe the man he had seen in his sleep wasn’t measuring up to the man who stood there now.

Nasir looked around the room at the rebels gathered in little groups. He felt content and safe and wished it could be like that forever, that maybe one day he would feel like one of them. Normal, or just himself as Spartacus had said. But he knew that his time was short, that the rebels had saved him so that he could have a small amount of time as a free man. They had risked their lives for him. Agron had sacrificed his whole life for him.

He put down his cup and shrugged at Gannicus who groaned at Nasir cheerfully. He wanted to go and find Agron.

When he took his first step the world turned and his legs seemed to tangle.

“Hey, little man, where are you going?”

Agron was there, a strong arm holding him up as though he weighed nothing.

“I wanted to find you and…” Nasir didn’t know why, no exactly. He couldn’t get a grip on all the feelings he was suddenly free to feel. “I think the wine is affecting me.”

“Let’s get some air. It will clear your head.” Agron led Nasir outside and around the side of the house. “It’s cool in the shade and we can sit down for a while.”

Nasir nodded and stumbled over to a tree, placing his hand on the bark.

“I like climbing trees.” He laughed and shook his head, black hair tumbling around his shoulders. “I have never climbed a tree, not really.” Nasir sat down heavily, his bum thumping to the ground and sending up a swirl of dusty earth.

“That’s not true. You climbed trees as a child. I saw it… and felt it when you fell to the floor. A bit like you just did.” Agron smiled and lowered his body to squat next to Nasir. “It’s never too late to start doing things that you have missed. Once… if we succeed against the creators you can do anything, see anything. There is a lake nearby and you could go and swim with the fish that live there.”

“Why?” Nasir asked, curious to why Agron had picked that of all things.

“I…” Agron looked at the grass and smiled softly, “I just think you would like it.”

Nasir tipped his head back and looked at the green leaf littered canopy above them. He wanted to ask why Agron was treating him differently now they were here in the village. The glimpse of raw emotion that he had witnessed a short time ago was being closed up, hidden away.

It was almost fear that he could sense in Agron, but what he was afraid of Nasir did not know.

“Was I happy as a child? What was I like?” Maybe if he could get Agron to think of happier things he would show himself again.

“You were always happy. It was annoying.” Agron sat down fully on the grass and leaned on his hand. “I had a little brother and he was always getting into trouble that I just had to get him out of. My home, it was cold all the time and when the snows came it was as though the sun had been stolen from the sky. At night though, I would see you and your happy face, climbing trees and running in the hot sand while I shivered in my bed. You were where I wanted to be, but you could have been on another world for all I knew.”

Nasir blushed and smiled back at Agron, whose face had betrayed his obviously mocking words. There was no way Nasir ever annoyed him.

“That was a good time then. You were happy, Nasir, and I will tell you everything you want to know. They are your memories as well as mine.”

“I don’t feel like they are. I must have lost them when I was sent to the lab… I had a mother. What happened to her?”

“I don’t know I’m sorry. After you were taken away they never let her visit like they promised. I never saw her again.”

Nasir bit his lip and shuffled a little closer to Agron. If it wasn’t for the fact that there would be no ‘after’ for him he would have asked if Agron would help him to find his mother, or at least discover her fate. But Agron was still in the dark about that and Nasir couldn’t bring himself to shatter the illusion just yet.

“Tell me something about me that you remember… anything at all.” Nasir closed his eyes and leaned his head against the tree. He laid his hands in his lap and sighed, waiting for Agron to speak.

Agron’s face fell. He looked at Nasir’s face and because he could do so unashamedly, he allowed himself to just look at the man, at the smoothness of his skin, the curve of his lips. He wanted to kiss him, run his fingers through his hair, but he stayed where he was. He was happy to just be near him.

“I can tell you about the time you found a Zeran otter that had broken its leg. You were always good with animals.”

Nasir nodded, enjoying the buzzing of alcohol running through his veins and the comforting sound of Agron’s voice that silently whispered one word in Nasir’s head.

Home.


	16. An adventure

Nasir sat on the grass in front of Naevia’s house watching the world go by.

Thoughts of the celebrations from last night still swirled through his mind and warmed his heart. Agron had told him countless stories about his life. Fun times, times when he had laughed and cried, times when he had learned to do things. While he was speaking, Agron smiled, bright and unassuming and Nasir’s heart broke. He didn’t know who Agron was talking about. This boy in Agron’s head was a stranger to him.

The only thing that kept him from crying was the warmth and colour that he watched in Agron. Nasir observed how the red changed with each new memory. Deep and brooding when the story was sad. Then sparkling and jewel bright when it was a happy story.

Nasir had wanted. It was a new sensation to him and it scared him. He wanted to touch, hold, comfort… he wanted.

But he didn’t know how or even if he could. He was scared that if he touched something so alive and beautiful that he would destroy it.  
After what had seemed like a lifetime, Agron had suggested they went back inside. Nasir had sensed that if he could, Agron would have kept Nasir to himself for longer, but he didn’t want to be selfish.

The night had been the best thing Nasir had ever known. People were kind to him, no eyes fell upon him in fear or disgust and he took back a part of his soul that he thought had left him. Agron was never far away, but he didn’t crowd him.

Thinking about it now, Nasir couldn’t actually remember going back to Naevia’s house. He must have been so exhausted that it was a blur. Some fragments were there, strong arms lifting, carrying, laying him down on soft blankets, a warm hand on his cheek… but the images weren’t clear.

Spartacus had visited him that morning and they had talked more about what was going to happen once the clones arrived. It had been unnerving and odd to talk about, but Spartacus gave him hope. It was clear why the man was the rebel king and Nasir longed to be like him.

Sighing, Nasir set his eyes upon the village again, falling finally on Naevia and Crixus who were stood talking with Gannicus. He watched them all carefully, how they moved around each other, how they spoke and gestured with their hands. It was like water, fluid and natural, wonderful to watch. Nasir smiled at them even though they weren’t looking at him.  
Suddenly, Gannicus roared with laughter and slapped Crixus on the back before walking away. Nasir was startled by the sound even from a distance.

As Gannicus left, Crixus moved closer to Naevia and took her hand. It was an intimate moment between them, but Nasir couldn’t look away. It was still an odd thing for him to see people touching so carefully, with no intention to cause harm.

Crixus drew Naevia to him and kissed her. For a moment a light fell between them, filling in the tiny gap between their embracing forms and Nasir looked away. It wasn’t their colours that he wanted to see.

The sight of the kiss brought back memories too close in time for him to have been forgotten. The last person to force his lips upon him had been the master, just before he had been transported to Helow Ridge. Sadly, those lips weren’t the only unwanted ones that had sought out Nasir’s warmth.

He knew his appearance must be pleasing, he was wanted by the people who had once possessed him, but none of them had looked at him like Crixus looked at Naevia, touched him like…

Nasir stood up quickly. His head was fuzzy, confusion at his feelings a tangle in his mind.

Agron looked at him like that, touched him gently and tenderly, and Nasir knew that the man already loved him… he had loved him longer than he was trying to show.

Maybe Agron wanted to kiss him, be kissed… it made sense.

It was expected of him. Nasir was always wanted for something.

He frowned at the thought. Agron was different and he didn’t seem to ever want anything from Nasir. It was strange. The want was in his eyes, but he never took anything. 

Agron wasn’t like all the others.

Nasir turned when he heard footsteps and found Agron looking at him curiously.

“Are you okay, little man? You look lost,” Agron said, smiling, although there was no hiding the concern he was attempting to keep back.

“I was… just…” Nasir shook his head, not sure at all what he wanted to say.

“It’s okay. I was just looking for you actually, I um, thought you might be hungry and I…” Agron held out an apple and shrugged.

“Oh, I am… gratitude,” Nasir replied, taking the shiny yellow apple and sniffing at it.

“What does it smell like?” Agron asked. He was smiling at Nasir, burning red orange surrounding him like a halo.

“Um, I don’t know… an apple,” Nasir said softly, smiling when Agron laughed. “What’s that?”

Nasir pointed to a long blade sitting on Agron’s hip. It was beautiful, silvery sharp with an electric blue edge that shimmered in the sun.

“It’s a Thracian sword,” Agron said, removing it from the band that attached it to his belt. “I’ve been training this morning… would you like to try it?”

Nasir thought back to the last time he had seen the master. He had vowed to return one day and that he would kill every one of them. A dream back then, but now…

“Could you teach me?” Nasir looked at Agron, the whites of his eyes flashing black for a moment, so quick that Agron doubted that he had seen it.

“Yes, if that’s what you want,” Agron smiled and handed Nasir the sword. “Be careful, the blade is sharp enough to cut a man in half with little effort.”

The fact that Nasir would be able to heal from such a wound caused Agron to shiver. Still, he would never take that for granted. He would always try to prevent Nasir from being hurt, regardless.

Nasir held the sword away from his body, blushing when Agron chuckled.

“It won’t bite. Here,” Agron said, moving to Nasir’s side covering his hand with his own. “Grip here and keep your wrist loose. It has to become part of you so that it moves with you and not against. We’ll have to get you your own sword.”

Nasir kept his eyes on where Agron’s fingers were still wrapped around his hand. There was no fear in the touch, no trace if hesitation. It was as though Agron didn’t know that Nasir was dangerous… a weapon.

“Um,” Agron mumbled and stepped away. “I can get another sword if you would like me to show you the basics.”

Nasir noticed that Agron’s face looked suddenly pale, his eyes slightly cloudy.

“Are you sick? You look awful.” 

Nasir held out his hand and laid it flat on Agron’s forehead.

“I’m just tired, I’ll be fine… gratitude.”

Agron’s colour wavered, the blood red changing to pale peach, sickly and disturbing. Nasir wondered why Agron said he wasn’t sick when he was.

“Do you live with Naevia?” Nasir asked, walking with Agron towards the stores where the weapons were kept.

“No, I live on the edge of the village, near to Spartacus. Why?”

“I feel safer with you around and I like talking to you. I thought if you lived with Naevia I would be able to talk to you more.”

Nasir decided that if Agron was sick then he wanted to be able to do something to help. Agron liked being near him, it was written all over him, so if being under the same roof helped ease his pain then Nasir wanted that too.

Agron slowed his pace and Nasir matched him, but he didn’t speak.

“Apologies, I shouldn’t have…” Nasir said, suddenly afraid he had made Agron feel self-conscious.

“No,” Agron said quickly and then stopped walking completely. “No, I didn’t mean no… I just meant I don’t think I should.”

He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

“You know that we are connected somehow.” The statement, spoken aloud, shocked Nasir. To hear it spoken in such a way… it was thrilling.

“You are hurt when I am,” Nasir added and Agron opened his eyes.

“Yes, but it’s more than that… Anyway, when it first started, I didn’t suffer much, I mean it was only scrapes and bruises, but after you were taken,” Agron paused and shuddered. Nasir touched his arm lightly and found the skin to be clammy and cold under his touch.

“Go on, please,” Nasir spoke softly. He could see that it was hard for him.

“There was a healer in my village that had business in Helow Ridge, a respected man. He developed something to help me, they’re called suppressors and I’ve taken them ever since. They dull the pain, control it, not completely, but enough, and now you’re here with me, I mean, now you’re not where they hurt you… Nae thinks I should come off them. That’s why I’m like this.” Agron waved his hands up and down in front of him, highlighting what a state he was in.  
Agron rubbed his eyes and they cleared to a dazzling green once again.

“I would like to stay at Naevia’s. I have a lot I want to tell you still, but I’m not… at night I can be… until I’m off them completely I think its best I stay away.”

Nasir nodded, a twist of disappointment clouding his thoughts. He was drawn to Agron and liked it when he was around, but he also wanted to make up for the fact that he was to blame for it all.

“You’re in pain again because of me?” Nasir bowed his head, ashamed that their bond, their connection, something that had excited him a moment ago, was now the reason for Agron’s sickness.

A warm, gentle hand lifted his chin.

“I told you, I will never regret or wish away anything that has or will happen to me because you are in my life and because you are safe. It’s not important and I’m used to it,” Agron said with a smile. “Now, hurry up and eat your apple. I want to see what you can do with that sword.”

***  
“Not bad, little man.”

Nasir grinned, pulling his blade from one of the practice opponents. Solid, human like projections, that could be struck like a real enemy.

They were alone, outside in a training ring, hidden away from any prying eyes. Agron had explained that when the rebellion had only been a whisper, they had trained in the sewers under the largest city in the lower quarter.

“Capua is a nice place. Not the sewers, though,” Agron said, twisting his sword in his hand. Nasir envied the ease Agron had with his weapon. His felt clumsy and heavy.

“Can we go there?” Nasir asked curiously, striking the projection in the chest with a satisfying crunch.

“It’s nice, but not safe. We had to flee when the creators first discovered that there were people willing to challenge them. Maybe, when we are victorious, we could go back there.”

“You are confident that you will win. What happens if your plan doesn’t work, if the… clones are detonated?”

Nasir knew that one way or another the clones would be activated, he just didn't know by which side. He was curious what Agron thought. It was becoming a good indicator for him to keep up with this still very knew world. Agron always voiced his thoughts to him and he knew that he could trust him.

“Then we will have all died trying,” Agron said, a waver in his voice. He couldn’t think about the possibility of losing. He couldn’t because it would mean Nasir would be alone again… in the hands of the creators.

Nasir swung the sword again, harder. He wanted to tell Agron that he would be happy to die too, if it meant that he was part of what they were fighting for, if it meant that he was one of them.

Before he could say anything, maybe even try to explain that he would be dying whether they won or lost, Agron's eyes flickered with concern at something over Nasir's shoulder. He turned to look at whatever had caused the troubling lines on Agron's brow.

"What's wrong," Agron asked as Gannicus ran over to them. He stepped unconsciously closer to Nasir, his instinct wanting to shield and protect, even from what he knew were just dark words. Nasir was grateful for it. He could feel that it was something bad from the look Gannicus gave him before he spoke.

"There are guards searching the village. Nasir, we have to hide you."

Without a word, Agron took the sword from Nasir's fingers and replaced it with his hand. He strode through the trees that surrounded them until they entered a part of the village that Nasir was unfamiliar with.

"How close are they?" Agron asked Gannicus who was close at their heels.

"Close," he replied.

They reached a group of homes lining a small stream. They walked to a well that was covered by a disk of wood.

Agron dropped Nasir's hand and lifted the wood. Expecting to see a dark hole, Nasir was surprised to see a spiral stairway carved into the stone.

"We have to climb down. It's safe and I'll be right behind you," Agron said quickly.

Nasir nodded and hopped up onto the wall of the well. The stairs looked steep and he couldn't see very far, but he would not be afraid. He was a free man now and he wanted to take control of his life for once.

The first few steps sent a chill all the way from the base of his bare feet to the top of his legs. It was cold, but not wet like he had been expecting. It seemed the rebels had prepared for this sort of things and Nasir wondered what else in the village wasn't actually what it seemed.

Above him, Nasir heard Agron climb into the well and a thud of wood against stone as Gannicus hoisted the cover back into place.

"It will go dark for a second, stay still so you don't fall, there will be lights once the well is covered again." Agron's voice sounded hollow in the cramped space and Nasir tried to control his breathing, but the sensation of feeling trapped was overwhelming him. A bright crackle of blue light filled the darkness and at first Nasir thought it was the lights Agron was talking about until he heard Agron call his name.

"It's okay, try to breathe in and out slowly, remember how I showed you," his words echoed down to Nasir's ears and he heard them despite the blood rushing so loudly in his head.

After another few seconds a soft orange yellow light lit up the tunnel and Nasir could finally see the bottom.

"Take your time. Keep going when you're ready," Agron said, calm and soft, his way to tell Nasir that he was there and that meant he had nothing to fear.

They climbed down the rest of the way in silence, Nasir concentrating on his steps and Agron concentrating on Nasir, but the little man never stumbled or slowed, and a burst of pride swelled in Agron's chest. 

Even though he had watched Nasir grow up. Change from the curious little child to a wild young boy, a scared youth to a broken man, he suddenly realised that he was watching someone he didn't actually know. Nasir had never been free in his adult life, never had to make choices or speak for himself. Agron knew that he and the other rebels had acted somewhat overprotective since Nasir's rescue, but he could see now that as each day passed Nasir was becoming Nasir, not the idea that they had all kept with them over the years.

"I'm at the bottom. What do I do now?"

Agron hurried the last few steps and dropped to the ground next to Nasir. He gave him a smile and gripped his shoulder comfortingly.

"There's a passage that leads to a hidden room. It's just a little further that way. Let me go first and keep close to me."

Nasir nodded firmly and held on to one of the leather straps that crossed over Agron's back when he began walking down the passage.

He knew it was fear he was supposed to be feeling, but Nasir was buzzing from the energy that was coursing through his veins. This felt like an adventure he had conjured up in his regeneration chamber. The thought sobered him up more than a little and he quickened his steps.

"Just a little further," Agron said quietly.

Nasir smiled and kept close. He could smell Agron, the musk of sweat from training with the sword but there was a freshness there too. He wondered if Agron had taken a bath that morning.

Loosening his grip slightly on the leather strap, Nasir extended his little finger and touched the sun darkened skin of Agron's back, just a light touch. It felt hot, feverish even and Nasir pulled away before Agron noticed.

"Here it is," Agron said, stopping in his tracks and looking at Nasir. 

His eyes looked a little glazed over again, but he didn't linger in the little corridor long enough for Nasir to voice his concern. 

They entered the small room and Agron slid his hand over a panel on the inside of the door.

"That will hide the entrance incase anyone finds the well. Although, I doubt it, guards aren't known for their brains," Agron smiled and sat down heavily on a cot style bed opened out by the wall. He swayed for a second, his eyes falling closed, and his head bowing.

"Agron?!" Nasir moved quickly to him, eyes wide and picnicked. He scanned the room for a source of water and jumped back up from kneeling at Agron's feet to fetch some.

"It's fine," Agron mumbled and for the first time since, well whenever, Nasir felt annoyed.

"Stop saying that. Drink," he said firmly, one hand holding the back of Agron's head and the other tipping a shallow cup of water to his lips.

Agron drank and drank, so much that when the cup was empty he silently filled it up again and repeated the process.

"I feel much better now, little man," Agron sighed, his eyes still closed, perhaps to hide the evidence of his lie, but Nasir thought there was at least a bit more colour in his cheeks.

"Be quiet, lie back," Nasir arranged the thin pillow and blanket on the bed and pulled Agron down do his head was cradled by the soft material.

"You're bossy," Agron said, twisting his head to get more comfortable, eyes still firmly closed. He grinned though and Nasir felt a tingling flood his skin and bumps appear on his arms.

"I'm learning to be," Nasir replied and smiled. He wished that Agron could see it.

Nasir sat next to Agron for a while, unwilling or unable to move over to the chair on the other side of the room. Agron seemed more content when he was near so he told himself that was the reason.

"How long will you be sick?" Nasir spoke quietly.

"I don't know."

Nasir frowned and looked down at Agron's face. It was the first time he hadn't tried to brush off what was happening to him. The room felt a little cooler all of a sudden and Nasir shivered.

He stood up and walked over to the panel on the wall.

"How do I work this. Is there a way to heat the room..? No, don't get up," Nasir raised his voice and Agron paused, his elbows propping him up. He smiled again, a different smile than before and Nasir didn't know what it meant.

"Temperature control is the symbol on the top right, press it and..."

"I can figure out the rest," Nasir said stubbornly and frowned when Agron chuckled.

Once a nice warmth was spreading through the room, Nasir returned to Agron's side.

"Are they looking for me?" He asked after a long, comfortable silence.

"I don't know, maybe, the creators won't be happy you are gone, but there's almost no more time for them to try and find you. I think they're here for us... the rebels. We get this sometimes, but the other villagers hide us well."

Nasir wanted to talk more about it, but he wanted to hear Agron's happy voice not his somber voice.

"Will you tell me something... about you? When you were a child maybe or... I would like to know about your brother."

Agron tensed visibly and Nasir thought he had said the wrong thing. He was about to apologise when he felt a hand cover his and a pair of sparkling green eyes looking at him.

"I'll tell you whatever you want," Agron smiled softly and let go of Nasir's hand.


	17. A dabble in witchcraft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A flashback chapter

"Ow, fuck... Duro, why are you pulling my hair out?" Agron rubbed the top of his head where his brother had ripped out more than a few strands.

"It's a secret," Duro said, tapping the side of his nose and grinning.

"I really don't like the sound of that," Agron sighed, trying to read Duro's face for anything that might give him away, but his little brother was skittering away before Agron could question him further.

Duro had been sticking close to him ever since the night Nasir had fallen and Agron's life had slipped away. Agron knew his brother well enough to sense that he was still terrified of something else like that happening again, especially now that those people had Nasir.

Agron closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. That man, the sandy eyed snake who had spoken poison words to Nasir's mother, he had taken Nasir away. The things Agron saw at night weren't bright anymore, nature turned to cold metal and whiteness, a child's laughter to sobbing in the dark. The pain was getting worse. The dark circles under his eyes were a permanent feature on his young face and he had a swollen lip where he had bitten down on it so hard that it bled. He didn't know why those men in white were hurting Nasir, but the hollow feeling in his chest was expanding every day.

"Get on the bed, Aggy," Duro called through the door.

Agron frowned and watched Duro pass by the door carrying what appeared to be a bunch of twigs and some leaves.

"It's the middle of the day," Agron yelled back. "What are you up to? Get in here."

"Agron, I am conducting a serious experiment," Duro sighed heavily as he strolled back into the bedroom. He looked at Agron like he was being extremely uncooperatively.

"An experiment?" Agron eyed the pile of random items his brother was now arranging on the floor.

"I'm going to meet Nasir." Duro continued arranging the twigs and leaves, not looking up, so missing the total horror written on Agron's face.

"You can't. This is stupid," Agron said, his voice dangerously close to a shout.

"It's not stupid. I want to see him," Duro mumbled. His hands clumsily knocked the pile on the floor and he punched his legs with balled up fists. "Damn it!"

Agron watched as Duro started arranging the sticks again. What was Duro thinking?

"Duro..?" Agron knelt down on the floor and placed his hands over his brothers, stilling them from their task. "Even if, whatever all this is worked, I can't let you see him. He's in pain all the time, he's alone and scared... you don't need to see that."

Duro looked up, pulling his hands from under Agron's.

"He's part of you and... I know you. I don't know him and I feel... I don't like that he has something I don't. I'm sorry, Aggy. I just want to see him and try to understand why he means so much to you. I-I'm not jealous, you know that, right?"

Agron nodded and sighed. Duro's little experiment wouldn't work, but it would hurt his brother if he didn't let him try.

"Okay," Agron said, piling up the sticks again. "What do I have to do?"

Duro smiled quickly and then rummaged in his pocket for the strands of Agron's hair he had stashed there.

"Lie down on the bed and relax," Duro said, shooing Agron away.

Agron, holding back a groan, complied and settled back onto the bed. His eyes closed, he was always so tired now, and he listened to Duro clattering around in the room. At the smell of smoke, Agron opened his eyes and sat up.

"Duro!"

"It's only small. Lie down. Please, Aggy?" Duro waved his hands over the tiny flames crackling in the sticks. He waited until Agron was settled again and then sprinkled the hair over the flames. Leaping to the bed, Duro knelt by Agron and put his hands over his eyes.

"Is anything happening?" Agron asked after a few moments.

"Shhh," Duro hissed.

Agron sighed. He was relieved that Duro's idea had no chance of working. He couldn't imagine Duro's reaction to knowing what he had to face every night. 

"Duro, I'm sorry," he said after a few more minutes of nothing. "You'd better put that fire out."

Duro huffed out a breath and hopped down off the bed. The smoke had gathered in the room even though the fire was tiny and Agron coughed as he pushed open the window. Duro put the fire out using the dust and sand on the floor of the room.

"Why didn't you try this at night?" Agron squatted down on the floor next to Duro. He looked so small. Agron wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"They have to let him rest. He has to sleep. I thought... they hurt him when you are asleep so it must be day wherever he is and... I dunno. It was stupid, like you said." Duro sniffled. Smoke had gotten in his eyes, tears streaming, but Agron knew it was more than that.

"Let's go outside," Agron smiled. He hauled Duro up and took him out of the back of their home. They sat down on the grass.

"It wasn't stupid and I shouldn't have said that, but Duro, I don't want you to see how hurt he is. You wouldn't like it. I know you don't like that I have someone close to my heart that you can't share, but you're my brother. You are my brother, Duro, and no matter what, we're always going to be together."

"You promise?" Duro wiped his eyes.

"I promise. I'll never leave you. You're too good at finding me when I try to get away from you anyway." Agron laughed and pushed at Duro's shoulder.

"Ass," Duro laughed.

Agron smiled, his heart warmed by his little brother's smile. He kept the promise in his head. He would never leave Duro alone.

"One day, shall we go and rescue him? Try and find out where he is and-and then we could storm in and steal him away. I bet he would be so happy. You could tell him how you've been looking after him and that I will too."

Agron hugged Duro to his chest. He kissed his temple and nodded, tears falling from his eyes.

"Yeah, Duro. We'll save him together."


	18. Skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Alffentz and I hope that I wrote something that you like. I tried to stay as close to your idea as I could and just expanded or edited some parts. It actually gave me a good platform to introduce something that will be very important as the story continues - it's subtle in this chapter - but it will be touched upon again. Gratitude for reading my fic and for the fabulous work you sent me. I will try to post the next chapter as soon as I can. Much love :) xoxo

Agron turned over on the cot. The story he had told was meant to have been a happy memory to share with Nasir, but, as with most things in his life, it was tainted with sadness.

Duro’s smile remained, imprinted on his mind and as familiar to him as his own reflection. His heart ached.

Nasir was sitting on the floor, his legs crossed, both feet resting on opposite knees. His hands were on the metal frame of the bed and his eyes were half closed.

“Nasir…” Agron reached out without thinking. He was tired, Nasir was tired, and he didn’t know how long they would be trapped down there.

The hand on Nasir’s shoulder woke him from the state half sleep he had drifted into. He watched as Agron scooted back towards the wall and smiled at him.

“You cannot sleep like that,” Agron said, noticing Nasir’s hesitation. “Come, lie here.”

He looked confused for a moment, sleep dragging his conscious mind into the dark, but as he blinked he could see Agron’s muted colours. They were calling to him and they were safe, warm, everything Nasir did not dare to want.

He crawled up onto the bed and turned his body so that his back was to Agron. He left the smallest gap between them, but in a moment of pure impulse he shifted back, closing the space and leaning into Agron’s body.

The intake of breath sounded so loud in the little room. Agron wasn’t sure what to do, what Nasir would allow. He stayed still for the longest time and looked at Nasir, his half hidden face obscured by his hair, loose and free and the gentle rise and fall of his arm on his chest as he breathed in and out.

Nasir stirred restlessly. He can’t quite let go of the day and his eyes are reluctant to close.

Agron’s arm is suddenly moving around to hold Nasir, unthreatening, but securely, against his chest, his legs bent to fit behind Nasir’s knees. He doesn’t even think about it until it’s done, but Nasir doesn’t even flinch, in fact he relaxes more and Agron sees his eyes flutter closed. Agron smiles and follows Nasir into slumber.

***

They sleep for a few hours, waking and separating awkwardly after a brief respite of peace. Agron lowers his eyes when Nasir looks at him and removes his arm without a sound. When he dares to look up again, he swears he sees a flash of confusion pass over Nasir’s face, but it’s gone in an instant. Nasir sits back down on the floor, but Agron stays on the cot. He feels drained, like he is floating, not sure who the man occupying his body is. His skin itches for Nasir and his heart won’t slow down. 

Neither of them knows how long they are going to be down there, trapped like animals.

“Agron… I need to tell you something. It is something that Spartacus felt would be better received coming from me.”

Nasir looks directly at Agron, his expression serious.

The man they rescued keeps changing before Agron’s eyes, getting stronger, developing and it’s a privilege for him to finally see it with his own eyes and not just through his mind’s eye.

“It is not an easy thing,” Nasir continued, but his eyes never wavered and Agron couldn’t help the frown that suddenly appeared on his brow.

“What is it?”

Nasir swallowed and placed his hands onto the soft fabric of his breeches.

“Spartacus told me, he told me everything about the clones and the creators… and what you are fighting for, to save the people of Zera from being wiped out.”

Agron didn’t speak, but the pale orange glow around him flickered to green and then back again.

“I – I was told about why the clones are being spread out through the lower quarter and that in the coming days the creators will betray the people and detonate the clones. You are going to stop this, save the people… but the clones will detonate either way.”

Nasir paused and fought the urge to look away from the pain he knew that would blossom upon Agron’s face when he heard the next words that he uttered. Agron deserved better though and Nasir did not look away.

“I will perish also. Whatever they took from inside me to make them… we are connected and I will die.”

Agron stared, his eyes sharp and clear, no trace of the cloudiness that had gripped him earlier. He shook his head.

“No, that’s not… that is not what is going to happen, Nasir.”

Unable to stay where he was, Nasir sat up and knelt by the bed. The look of total devastation on Agron’s face was unbearable. He reached out instinctively and lifted his hand up towards Agron, his fingertips brushing over the scar above his heart, the scar that Nasir imagined that he had caused. That thought made him speak again, hoping to ease the man’s pain somehow.

“I will be glad to die if it means that you will be free. It will be over and you can finally live. I would be as one of you and die a true rebel.”

He could feel his own pulse racing, completely in time to Agron’s heart, which was throbbing under his touch.

“You cannot take all of my pain, Agron. Not this time.”

Those words made Agron’s colours flare. Red blending with black and lime, like paint drops in water they blended into a dirty grey wash and Nasir removed his hand from Agron’s chest.

Something-something that looked like an idea settled on Agron’s face, his glinting green eyes hiding a thought behind unshed tears.

“Nasir,” Agron whispered, and in one movement he sat up on the bed and took Nasir’s face in his hands, breathing in the apple fresh scent of him, the trace of morning breeze that was clinging to his hair. “You will not perish. I won’t allow it, not now. And you are wrong about something.”

“Wrong?” Nasir shivered when Agron released his face and placed his hands on his shoulders.

“I do not fight for Zera or its people. I only fight for you. Whatever happens to me…? I will save you.”

Nasir watched curiously as tears ran down Agron’s cheeks and was surprised when he saw his own hand reaching out. Agron’s eyes widened and Nasir did look away, self-conscious and overwhelmed by the unknowable feelings coursing through him.

“Apologies – I only wanted to…” Nasir inhaled, air shuddering into his lungs and winding him.

Agron blinked.

“Touch?”

“Yes,” Nasir whispered.

Agron cradled Nasir’s face and leaned in close. That Nasir wanted to touch him, even as innocently as a comforting hand to grieving cheek, it was perfect to him.

“Please…” the plea was butterfly soft, breakable if spoken too loudly. “I have longed for this, Nasir.”

A full red light enveloped them both and Nasir was lost in it. He could see his youth in Agron’s eyes, the child he should have been, anger and loss flooded his senses, but Agron’s lips drew him back. He wondered if they would taste good… like the sweet apricots he had eaten at the celebrations. With wet eyes and a trembling hand he inched closer.

“Please…”

A clicking sound disturbed Agron’s bittersweet yearning and they both turned as the clicking grew louder and then stopped.

Agron scrubbed his face with his wrist and got up off the bed, placing himself between Nasir and the door. He quietly reached down for his sword as the panel of the door slid open.

“Spartacus,” Agron sighed loudly, his entire body relaxing. “What is happening?”

“The guards have moved on. It was a mandatory sweep of the village before the clones arrive. They were looking for signs of rebels being harboured here, but their mind was not set to purpose of finding Nasir. They do not know he is here.”

“Good,” Agron said, nodding and turning to smile at Nasir. His vulnerability was hidden behind dimples and pearly white teeth. “They have other things to focus on now. Any news from inside?”

“All quiet,” Spartacus replied.

“Inside?” Nasir stepped from behind Agron and faced Spartacus.

“We have people everywhere. Helow Ridge, even at the lab… Intel fighters,” Spartacus said, moving further into the small room. “We could not always rely on what Agron saw to tell us what we needed to know so we had to do it another way. Our people on the inside will tell us when the clones will be de-…”

“I think we all need some air,” Agron interrupted quickly, strapping his sword to his belt and clenching his jaw.

Spartacus looked thoughtfully at his friend before heading back for the door.

“Nasir, are you ready?” Agron asked.

A tingling feeling, like waxy pine needles pricking his skin, stole his voice for a moment. The question was laced with possibility and uncertainty.

Was he ready?

He kept the answer to himself and walked silently to the door, the echo of ‘Please’ ringing in his ears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous. I hope this is okay. Be kind to me, Christina. :)


	19. Faith

Agron woke with a jolt, his fingers gripping the edge of the bed hard enough to hurt.

After calming his breathing he sat up and rubbed his face, his fingers turning slick with sweat. His throat felt dry and raw and he knew that he’d been screaming.

The day had been a challenge for him; the time spent with Nasir had been… everything. Talking like ordinary men, like friends maybe. He had been afraid that Nasir wouldn’t feel the connection when he actually met him, but there was something there, beneath the shyness and the tentative smiles. Agron didn’t care if it was what he hoped for. That Nasir was happy and safe… and alive. That was enough.

_“I will perish also.”_

Getting out of bed, Agron walked into the bathroom and crossed the room to the sink. Cool, bright lights flickered on at his presence, making him blink. He splashed some water onto his face and removed the thin shirt he wore in bed, translucent and uncomfortable against his chest and back. Soaking a cloth he cleaned himself and took some more deep breaths.

He opened a drawer next to the sink and gazed at the rows of tubes containing the suppressors he had started taking in his mid-teens. He counted them.

“Twenty four tubes, six in each, one four four…”

He rubbed his eyes again and filled a glass with water, bringing it up to his cracked lips. Downing the cold water in three long gulps, he guessed that Naevia would have at least ten tubes too.

Nasir’s words floated into the room, so clear that he could have almost been there.

_“I will perish also.”_

It was the fact that Nasir didn’t seem frightened or sad about his supposed fate that bothered Agron. It was as though he thought that only his death would set Agron free from the torment of being bound by agony and fear to someone so broken. Nasir still couldn’t see that it was only because of that pain that he truly felt alive. Without Nasir… what would he be?

A soft knocking brought Agron out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Naevia’s silhouette through the glass in the door made Agron smile.

“It’s getting better every night. There was no need for you to check on me,” Agron said as he opened the door. The night surrounded Naevia in shadow and he couldn’t see her very well.

“I’m here to check on you whether you like it or not and you know it’s not getting better. It will get worse before it gets better, Agron. Besides, your screams woke Nasir and he was worried.”

“He’s not here is he,” Agron asked, shrinking back into the house. “He can’t see me like this.”

Naevia held her hands up and followed Agron inside. He really did look terrible.

“I told him that it was withdrawals from the suppressors, but you would be fine, you were strong enough to get through it. He practically pushed me out of the door to come and make sure you were alright.”

Agron looked surprised, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Really?”

“He cares about you,” Naevia said, following Agron into the bathroom, not bothering to ask his permission.

“He told me he was going to die. Did you know about this?”

“Sit,” Naevia instructed, placing her hand on Agron’s forehead when he sat on the edge of the bathtub. “Yes, I knew.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Agron said simply. He wasn’t angry or upset, merely stating a fact.

“Would you have believed me?”

“No.”

Agron opened his mouth wide when Naevia pulled at his chin. She frowned and let go of him, but not before prodding his right dimple.

“But, I don’t believe it now, so it wouldn’t have mattered,” Agron continued. He stood and poured another glass of water, drinking it like he was dying of thirst.

“You still have your suppressors?”

Agron looked down at the open drawer and slid it shut.

“He might leave, Naevia. We don’t know what he will decide when this is over… I might need them again.”

Naevia didn’t say anything. Didn’t say that even if, by some miracle, that Agron was right and Nasir survived and left them afterwards, he wasn’t going to be tortured, wasn’t going to live in fear again, which meant that neither was Agron. His dependence on something that had helped him keep his sanity over the years was troubling. Placing the thought to the back of her mind to inspect later, she took Agron’s hand and smiled. She had bigger things to worry about.

“Come into the kitchen and let me fix you something for your throat.”

Agron went without argument. He didn’t like being fussed over usually, but he also didn’t like getting a smack round the back of the head from his carer.

“Did he say anything about what happened yesterday?”

“Not much,” Naevia said quietly, pouring some honey into a cup and heating up some milk. “He sat outside for a while when you left with Spartacus. He seemed okay, thoughtful maybe… did something happen between you?”

Agron shifted in his seat. He wasn’t really sure what had happened.

“I, um, I held him… we were tired and I couldn’t exactly let him sleep on the floor. I just held him and we slept for a while,” Agron repeated himself hastily, wanting to make it clear that he hadn’t done anything other than what he had said.

“Agron, who are you talking to here? I know you.” Agron smiled at her, weak, but it was something. “What else happened.”

Agron sighed and watched Naevia pour the hot milk over the honey and stir the liquid before handing it over.

“After he told me about… I told him I wouldn’t let him die and he touched me here,” Agron placed his hand over his heart, “and then he reached out to touch my face. He-he apologised, Nae, but he wanted to touch me and I couldn’t help it… I told him that I wanted it. Fuck, I want him so much.”

Shaking his head, he swallowed the last of the milk and put the cup down.

“I will not lose him… not to death. I will not.”

Naevia saw Agron close his eyes. Sometimes people forgot that Agron was still so young. He had dealt with grief all his life, suffered because of the loss of his best friend, his brother and Nasir was the one thing that had kept him going. Now, in the pale moonlight, Naevia could see how fragile he was, how broken. With all her heart she wanted Agron’s words to be true, for him to somehow find a way to keep Nasir alive. She had loved him for a long time, learning who he was from Agron and finally meeting him had only strengthened that love. Losing Nasir now was unthinkable.

She knelt down next to Agron and put a hand on his knee.

“Whatever anyone tells you, how hopeless things might appear, I believe you will find a way.”

Agron opened his eyes in shock and his breath caught in his throat. He swallowed hard and nodded.

“The love you have for him…” She continued, tears forming in her eyes. “It’s beautiful. I believe you, Agron. You will save him.”

For a long time they sat in the dark, their breathing the only sound in the world.

“Gratitude,” Agron said eventually, his voice not even loud enough to be called a whisper.

“Come on, go back to bed. Nasir has voiced desire to train again tomorrow and he would not appreciate his teacher falling to slumber on his own sword.”

She stood and cupped Agron’s cheek and he laughed softly.

She led him out into the hallway and left him by the door to his bedroom, but paused before she left.

“Do you have anything you want me to tell him now?”

Agron thought for a moment. His eyes felt so heavy and his head was fuzzy. He remembered how Nasir had smelled, intoxicating and real. Perfect.

“Agron?” Naevia moved a step towards him, care written on her face again, but he held his hand up to show her he was alright.

“Tell him… gratitude for his concern and I will see him tomorrow.”

She smiled and nodded.

“Goodnight, Agron.”

“Goodnight,” he replied and waited for her to close the door.

Agron shuffled back into his room, a new feeling of hope burning in his heart.

He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

 


	20. Know me, know you

Nasir sat on the grass and watched Agron. He hadn't come over to see him yet, but Nasir didn't mind. He took the opportunity to observe him, something he used to do as a teenager when he still held a feeble hope that maybe one of his captors would take pity on him and spirit him away to safety. Nasir learned quickly that he may as well have been invisible to them.

Shielding his eyes from the dewy morning sun, Nasir catalogued Agron's movements to memory, his easy, magnetic personality that drew people to him without question. He was amazed that after what he had told him the day before that he was as happy as he seemed to be now. He looked different today, less burdened somehow, and the paleness coating his skin like a spiders web was being replaced by a golden, healthy glow. Every second the sun kisses his skin he looks healthier and his colours are vivid and alive, vibrating almost. 

Agron's screams that had rang out into the night had shaken Nasir badly. A pained, strangled sound that he knew well. He had screamed like that hundreds of times in the lab, but it was different hearing it coming from someone he cared about and half of the reason he was watching the man now was to try to figure out what it was that he was actually feeling.

He did care about Agron. He knew he must. The thought of him hurt, in pain or distress, it made him feel sad, terribly sad and afraid, but he felt the same about all the rebels. They were his family now and he cared about them all... but there was something different about the way he felt when he was close to Agron and how his eyes would seek him out when he wasn't near. Nasir wrinkled his brow in annoyance. He hated that he couldn't recognise these feelings and cursed the wall he had built inside him as a shield to snuff out his emotions like a flame. Agron had broken his wall the minute he cradled his face in that large, tender hand and smiled like Nasir was a precious jewel.

Footsteps behind him made Nasir tilt his head slightly, but his eyes never left Agron, who was laughing at a mass of children who looked like they were trying to get him to play with them. Nasir felt his lips curl into a soft smile.

Naevia sat down silently next to him and took his hand and he finally looked upon her face, her eyes seeming to know the turmoil troubling his own. 

"Naevia, how do you know when you love someone?"

She smiled, a poorly hidden sadness preventing it to bloom properly over her face. 

"Love isn't an easy thing to describe. It's a feeling, a knowledge, a changeable fact. When you love someone you just do. You feel it in your bones." 

She glanced over at Agron who was on his hands and knees, roaring and bounding after the screaming children. One was doubled over, laughing so hard that he was shaking, joyous tears streaming down his plump cheeks.

"There are different kinds of love, Nasir," she continued. "The love I have for Crixus is different to the love I have for you."

"I've never loved anyone before. I don't remember loving my mother, although Agron says I did. I don't want to imagine that I love someone and it not be... true."

"You don't want to hurt him," Naevia said softly. She understood that Nasir was struggling with how he was feeling towards Agron. He didn't want to give him any false hope.

"When we were together yesterday I liked it when he put his arm around me and... I touched him after I told him about my fate. He looks after me, he says he's going to save me, so how do I know that what I'm feeling isn't just gratitude for his kindness?"

"I can't tell you what it is you're feeling for him. You've not had the freedom to explore that part of yourself."

"And now I have no time to. It's pointless even thinking about this."

Nasir looked over to Agron again. He had a squealing little boy over his shoulder and a laughing girl under his arm. Their eyes meet briefly, Agron's smile blinding. He looks back at Naevia, the bitter sting of developing tears sharp and unwanted. 

"I'm scared." He sighs heavily. 

Naevia sees Agron disentangle himself from the children and start to walk towards them.

"I'm scared too," she says, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "But one thing I know is that love can make the impossible possible. It's how he found you."

Nasir nods once, he wants more than anything to believe that Agron will save him, but he can't. He can't see how.

Agron hovers nearby like he doesn't want to interrupt whatever they are talking about. Naevia smirks at Nasir, silently asking if he's going to put him out of his misery.

Standing, Nasir nods at Naevia and she goes back inside, leaving the two men alone.

"Do you feel like doing some training?" Agron steps towards him, orange and yellow sparkling around him, highlighting the green of his eyes.

"I do," Nasir answered. "Could I try something other than the sword?"

Agron pulled a leaf from a low hanging branch, curled yellow with blue veins threading through it, and handed it to Nasir.

"You have something in mind?"

In his visions, the rebels he created had fought with swords made of steel and tall wooden spears. He imagined what it would be like to use something that looked so awkward and somehow be able to wield it with a catlike grace.

"Do you train with spears?" He asked, rubbing the leaf between the pads of his fingers, glancing at Agron shyly. 

"We used to. Spartacus had us all train in many different forms of combat. I can show you what to do with one," Agron said, smiling to himself. "I couldn't really master it myself, I think I'm too bulky, but you may well take to it, little man."

Nasir narrowed his eyes. Agron was enjoying teasing him. Well, he thought, surely all the imagined combat he had seen had prepared him at least a little. He silently hoped that he wouldn't make a complete fool out of himself.

They walked to the area where they had used the swords the day before and Agron disappeared into the weapons shed. Nasir still had the leaf that Agron had given to him pressed into the palm of his hand, trapped by his fingers. He didn't want to lose it, not really knowing why, so he tucked it into the pocket of his breeches just as Agron emerged carrying two blunted spears. He raised a questioning eyebrow, making Agron chuckle.

"I don't want you poking my eye out."

"It can't be that hard," Nasir said, a smile forming on his lips. It was still a strange sensation to him, smiling, but he was quickly getting used to doing it. It could have also been the fact that when he did so, Agron's colour would intensify and the hues would ripple into a dazzling mist. Nasir loved seeing it, knowing that it was Agron's heart being shown to him.

"Not that hard?" Agron drawled, shaking his head sadly. "I probably should go easy on you, but as you already know what you're doing..."

"I didn't say that," Nasir replied quickly, taking the spear from Agron's outstretched hand and feeling its weight and balance. "I just don't think I will be so bad at it that I would injure you."

Agron grinned and tapped the end of his spear against Nasir's sending it hopping out of Nasir's grip and clacking into the hard mud at his feet.

"Shall we try again?" Agron twirled his spear effortlessly.

Nasir growled under his breath and narrowed his eyes even further. He snatched up his spear and tossed it between his hands, his back bent slightly and his feet spread apart.

"Stand up straight, Nasir. Your opponent needs to be intimidated and you need to use your whole body to wield your spear against him."

Agron took hold of Nasir's arm and slid his hand just past the centre of the spear.

"This isn't an object, it's an extension of you. If you hold it here you can brace it against your arm or waist and avoid anyone knocking it out of your hand again."

Agron grinned and Nasir scowled. It was all for show. Nasir found it thrilling that Agron was teaching him something and he was more than willing to learn and he was determined to learn quickly. 

He thought back to how his rebels had fought and turned his hips slightly, adjusting his stance, his eyes burning into Agron's.

Agron must have favoured this because he matched the stance, that smile of his unable to stay off his face for long.

"Good, now, hold the spear out in front of you," Agron said, demonstrating what he wanted Nasir to do.

"It's heavier than I imagined." 

Nasir could feel the weight of the wood making his arm shake. Wishing he had muscles like Agron, his eyes scanned the grooves and hard planes of the man before him, the bulge of his bicep as he swung the spear in a wide arc. 

"It will become lighter in time. Once you are used to it, you'll be it's master and I promise you will barely feel its weight." 

Nasir's arm dropped slightly. Agron was talking as though he had plenty of time to teach him. The words he had spilled the day before were being ignored.

They sparred for a while, Agron teaching and demonstrating and Nasir listening and copying what he was being shown. Agron didn't patronise or coddle Nasir, he pushed him, treated him like he would any other trainee.

"Keep your arm up, little man," Agron said loudly, twisting his spear with Nasir's and flipping it out of his hands again.

A frustrated hiss escaped Nasir as he went to retrieve his fallen weapon. Glancing up from his position crouched on the ground his stomach flipped at the look on Agron's face. His eyes were dark, cheeks flushed pink and his mouth was open a little to allow his panting breaths to slip free. Nasir felt hot under such intense scrutiny, embarrassed suddenly, and... he felt aroused.

"We can stop if you've had enough for the day?" Agron stepped forward, confused as to why Nasir was still crouched on the ground.

Standing up, Nasir hid his confusion to his bodies unfamiliar reaction and forced a smile. He repeated the stance and held his spear the way he'd been shown, high up and pointed at Agron in invitation.

"I am no child. Show me how to beat you."

Agron grinned, a wildness shining in his eyes as he mirrored Nasir's body. His colour shone like the sun, golden peach and intoxicating. There was something feral about him and Nasir dug his heels into the mud in preparation for what he knew would be a hard lesson.

Touching the tips of their spears together, Agron tilted his head to one side.

"Shall we begin?"

***

They trained well into the afternoon. Nasir would have kept going until the sun set, but Agron chuckled and took the spear out of his hands, putting them away and smiling at Nasir's protests.

"Naevia will kill me if I take you back exhausted. I think the blisters and splinters are enough, don't you?"

Nasir stopped walking and looked at his hands. They were smooth, unmarked, the evidence of his work faded and healed. He took hold of Agron's wrist and pulled his hand up, turning it over in his hands. Agron's fingers were red, slightly swollen with small blisters on the creases where the wooden spear had rubbed at his skin. They were Nasir's blisters, Nasir's marks and tiny cuts. Agron tried to pull his hand away, but Nasir wouldn't let him. He held the back of Agron's hand and let his other hand hover over the top of his upturned palm. 

"What does it feel like?" Nasir asked curiously. Did his pain feel different to Agron's own, he wondered? "Can you tell when it's me and not you."

"Yes, I can. I don't feel exactly what you feel, it's muted... well depending on the level of it, but now I don't take the suppressors it's a little clearer. This..." Agron flexed his fingers, the blisters pulling at the movement, and Nasir released his hand," ...just pinches. The skin is uncomfortable, but nothing you couldn't handle. See the little fragments of wood caught under the skin?"

Nasir looked closer, his nose almost touching the joint of Agron's thumb. 

"I see them. What's that like?"

"Irritating," Agron chuckled. 

"I wish I could feel it. Like a true warrior," Nasir said quietly, walking towards the village again.

Agron followed quietly. He hadn't realised how detached Nasir must feel. He always imagined that he would be comforted by having his pain taken away, but the sadness in those big, dark eyes told a different story.

They were headed to Naevia's, but Agron didn't want to let Nasir go just yet, and especially not with the somber mood that had settled upon him.

"Come this way," Agron smirked, stopping and waving his hand to the left.

Nasir smiled, it was small, but Agron took it as a huge victory.

Nasir walked beside Agron as they crossed the village. People nodded or spoke warm greetings as they passed and Nasir's heart felt less heavy. 

"Where are we going?"

"You've worked hard today. You deserve a reward."

Agron smiled at the coy look on Nasir's face. He led him towards the trees and into a small wood full of thin silver bark trees and ferns that tickled Nasir's legs.

As they came to a clearing, fuzzy green moss coating everything like a shroud, Agron turned and put his finger to his lips, indicating that they had to be quiet. 

Nasir looked around him with wide eyes. It was a beautiful place with a feeling of peaceful seclusion even though they were still close to the village. He crouched down to look at a line of fire ants that were crossing their path, holding his hand out for them to crawl over.

"They have a nasty bite," Agron whispered, holding out his hand to help Nasir up.

"It doesn't matter," Nasir chuckled, "...oh." He'd forgotten their bond. He took Agron's hand and stood, happy that the ants hadn't bitten him and caused Agron pain.

"Don't worry, little man, I've had worse than an ant bite," Agron smiled awkwardly.

"Apologies," Nasir replied quietly.

Agron shook his head and smiled. Nasir still didn't understand that he was used to it. Yes, the agony of Nasir's torture had been hard to bear, but it had made him who he was and through that he was able to find Nasir. There was still so much he wanted to tell him, but it could wait. 

"Look," Agron whispered, pulling Nasir to sit on a fallen tree. He smiled and pointed to a shallow pool, no more than a puddle, as a group of grey and white monkeys ambled out of the trees and gathered around the water to drink.

Nasir let out a breathy laugh and watched the little animals in wonder. It was the first time he had seen such creatures in reality.

A mother and baby wandered closer and sniffed the air curiously. The men stayed still, but the monkey seemed to sense their presence.

"Nasir, wait..." Agron breathed, but Nasir was standing and stepping over the tree before he could ask what he was doing.

All the monkeys were startled by the sudden appearance of a stranger, but Nasir approached them like old friends, with no hesitation or fear. The monkeys chattered and called out to each other, but Nasir continued until his toes touched the cool water.

Ignoring the monkeys, Nasir bent down and scooped some water into his hand, taking a sip and then spreading the clinging droplets over the back of his neck. Agron stared in amazement as the monkeys went back to drinking and playing and eating, apparently accepting Nasir as one of them. After a few minutes, the mother and baby padded over to Nasir and pulled his hair gently. Nasir touched the mothers fur and laughed softly as the sleepy baby blinked his eyes and wrapped his long fingers around Nasir's wrist.

His heart beating wildly against his chest, Agron watched the strange interaction for a long time. Nasir moved around the pool and sat on the muddy bank, right in amongst a boisterous gang of young males who enjoyed using Nasir as a climbing frame. They handed Nasir little morsels of food, squished fruits and nuts still in their husks which he ate happily. The calmness on Nasir's face made Agron's heart ache. This was how he had survived his life in the clutches of the creators. His mind holding on to a simple idea of happiness and now he was experiencing it for real. 

Tears burned in Agron's eyes and he swiped a hand over them before any fell and stood up slowly. He wanted so much to share the moment with Nasir so he straightened his back and climbed over the tree.

Nasir looked up and blinked. The monkeys around him screamed and scattered into the trees and Agron froze. He'd only taken one step and had managed to ruin everything. He felt like such an idiot, but then Nasir was laughing, louder than any sound he'd ever heard come out of his mouth before. Nasir tipped his head back and laughed so hard his hands clutched at his stomach.

"I didn't think they would run off like that," Agron said sheepishly, shuffling over to Nasir. "Apologies for spoiling it... why didn't they run from you?"

Nasir stood and smiled widely, and a little sadly.

"They don't know what I am," he said shyly. "Or maybe they didn't like the way you smell?"

Agron's mouth opened in surprise. Nasir was making fun of him.

"Oh, is that so?" Agron grinned, bending down to flick some water at Nasir. He smiled when Nasir laughed and ran through the pool, soaking Agron's head and chest and running to the edge of the trees with a smirk.

Agron growled and launched forward, sprinting at Nasir as fast as he could while trying not to fall on his ass. He chased a laughing, darting shadow through the trees and his soul grew wings and soared.

***

Sleep came easily that night.

Nasir dreamt about his perfect day, fragments of green leaves, a smiling face, a cool breeze on his skin, sending him deeper into the warm comfort of sleep. At first he didn't realise what the noise was, until his breath caught painfully in his lungs and he was ripped awake. 

He waited until he was sure that Naevia had returned to her own room before opening his eyes and tiptoeing quietly out of his room and into the village. 

Agron's screams had woken him, but for some reason he had pretended to be asleep when Naevia had crept in to check on him. 

Maybe it was because he didn't know if she would let him go alone into the village at night. Maybe it was something else.

Nasir walked swiftly towards the edge of the village, the screams getting louder as he got closer. His mind settled on an image of Agron curled around him, sleeping soundly by the fire and then melting into the image of the two of them on the cot bed, deep in the underground shelter. 

He paused when the screaming stopped. Agron must have woken himself up.

Nasir reached the little round house, the North Star gleaming like a beacon above it. He thought about knocking on the door, but then he noticed an open window and moved to stand next to it, peeping through to see which room it led to.

His eyes widened at what was inside. Agron lay on his bed, the blankets spread out around him in a tangle while his body convulsed and shuddered. His eyes were squeezed tight shut and he was breathing harshly. Nasir could hear him through the crack in the window and he felt a stab of guilt and fear pierce his heart.

Nasir curled his fingers around the window and pulled it open further. The space was small, but so was he and he slipped through easy enough. Agron must have been in too much pain to hear his footsteps, but his eyes flew open when Nasir's weight on the bed alerted him to a second presence in the room.

Agron stared, his whole body twitching uncontrollably, his eyes clouded over so much they were almost white.

"I'm dreaming, dreaming..." he kept mumbling over and over until Nasir couldn't stand it anymore. He grabbed Agron's arms hard and moved closer to him. Agron stilled and shook his head, his eyes still milky and dazed. Nasir didn't know how Agron would react to being touched in this state, but he remembered how he had felt when Agron put his hands on him, automatically soothed by it so he did the same, hoping it would have the same effect.

"I'm here, you're awake and I'm here," Nasir said, trying to get through to the man.

After a minute or so, Agron seemed to settle down, his muscles twitching less harshly and the green of his eyes focusing better on his surroundings. Nasir retreated a little with the intention of getting Agron some water but a large hand on his wrist stopped him.

"I'm not going far, just for some water and another blanket," Nasir said calmly.

"N-No, I... You should go."

Nasir could see the shame on Agron's face and he cursed his inability to put his feelings into words. He laid his hand, the one not currently still caught in Agron's grasp, and paced it over his heart.

"In not going anywhere," he said, pulling his hand free and hopping off the bed. It seemed only right that after all the years that Agron watched over him it was only right that he return the favor, although he could never repay Agron for what he'd done to him.

The bathroom lights flickered on when he entered and he grabbed two towels from the edge of the tub, holding one in the sink and letting the water soak the fabric, while tucking the other towel under his arm. Then he filled a glass and headed back into the bedroom.

"My body's not used to being without the medication," Agron sighed when Nasir walked back into the bedroom. 

"Is there a light in here?" Nasir asked, handing Agron the water. He looked at the panel on the wall by the bed and cringed when Nasir pressed it on, the light burning his eyes.

"I look like shit," Agron groaned, trying to turn away, but Nasir wouldn't let him.

"You do not," Nasir said, wrinkling his nose at the odd expression. He shuffled up to Agron's side and took his chin in his hand, turning Agron's face to him and pressing the cool cloth to his forehead. 

"You're a bad liar," Agron smiled, his eyes closing as Nasir. "I woke you again then?"

"I was having a nice dream too," Nasir smiled. "Try to scream into your pillow tomorrow night."

"Funny," Agron scoffed.

The cool cloth was replaced by the dry one and Agron sighed. He leaned into Nasir's touch, relishing the closeness he had wanted for longer than he liked to think about, but Nasir moved away again. Confused and heartsick, Agron looked out of the window, anywhere but Nasir's perfect face or the soft temptation of his body, even hidden under his loosely fitted tunic.

"You can't sleep in this, it's damp," Nasir muttered shyly, looking at the thin material stuck to Agron's chest. 

"I, um, I'll go and change it," Agron replied, not really wanting to get out of bed at all, but he didn't want to make Nasir uncomfortable.

"Here, put this around you," Nasir said, grabbing the blanket and helping an exhausted Agron to sit, sliding his fingers under the shirt and dragging it up and over Agron's head and then securing the blanket firmly around the half naked mans upper body. "There, you can go back to sleep now. I'll stay and keep you company."

Agron didn't know what to say or do. He wanted Nasir to stay, but he wanted Nasir. It was as natural to him as breathing. He wanted Nasir with every fibre of his being, but he couldn't read what Nasir wanted.

"Naevia will be worried when she wakes to find you gone. I'm okay now, I promise."

Nasir eyed him suspiciously and reached over to the panel to switch off the light.

Plunged into darkness, Agron didn't dare move. The body lying next to him, the man he loved, was close enough that if he just moved his fingers a fraction they would be...

Agron gasped when Nasir threaded his fingers alongside his own trembling hand, completing his fantasy like a mind reader.

"I'm staying," Nasir added sleepily and squeezed Agron's fingers tighter.

They lay side by side, fingers the only part of them touching, and Agron hoped.


	21. Only you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A flashback chapter.

“She likes you.”

“What?” 

Agron looked up at Duro with a frown. It was two days from his sixteenth name day and he was trying not to think about it. It was the day he was to become a man and yet it felt as though he had reached that point some time ago. The dark circles under his eyes adding proof to his loss of childhood innocence.

“Mari, I heard her talking about you to Abel and the others. She says on your name day she’s going to kiss you and give you another present. She means sex, right?!” Duro bellowed and laughed at his brothers shocked expression.

“Keep your fucking voice down,” Agron growled, dragging Duro by the scruff of his neck around the back of their house.

“What’s the big deal?” Duro ducked and escaped Agron’s grasp. “She’s the prettiest girl in our village and she’s mad enough to look at you so you might not get a better chance.”

Agron looked at the ground and mumbled. He had noticed Mari looking at him, he was neither blind nor stupid, but he never paid it any mind. She wasn’t the only one who had taken a hearty interest in him since his growth spurt after he hit fourteen. Many of the girls in his village giggled and went red in the face when he was near or spoke to them.

“Speak up, dumbass,” Duro yelled, whacking Agron on the arm.

“I said I’m not interested,” he sighed and finally met Duro’s curious eyes.

“You have your eye on someone else? It’s not Rena is it? Uh, she eats worms.”

“She does not.”

“Does too, seen her with my own eyes,” Duro said through a grin. “Helena? Frellia?”

“No,” Agron sighed again, frustrated and nervous. “I don’t like girls like that.”

Duro considered for a moment, his face thoughtful and still.

“Oh, boys then? Ha, Mari’s gonna have a shock!” Duro slapped his knee and waggled his eyebrows, making Agron laugh and ease the knot that had formed in his belly.

“Any particular boy or just…” Duro trailed off, leaving the sentence for Agron to continue with like they had been doing all their lives. 

Duro liked to think of he and his brother as twins who just happened to have a few years between them. Everyone told him that didn’t make sense, but he ignored them because Agron thought it was an awesome idea.

Now though, Agron kept his mouth shut firmly about the subject and tried to clumsily change it.

“Did you get me a present yet? It had better be that knife I wanted and not something silly that you found in the woods…”

“Agron?”

“…cause you know I already have bits of tree bark and shells everywhere in my room and…”

“Agron?”

“…it might be nice to have something useful…”

“Agron!”

“Hum? What?”

“Are you insane,” Duro hissed, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. He knew. 

“I’m sorry… I can’t help it, I’ve tried and it’s not going away and I hate it, but I… look, I’ve tried liking other boys, I have, but he’s…”

“He’s Nasir,” Duro said sadly.

“I’m sorry,” Agron muttered. “I can’t help it. He’s amazing and beautiful and I love him and I don’t know where the fuck he is!” Agron’s voice grew louder, angrier. “I’m fucking talking about unimportant shit, how I fucking feel, when he’s being tortured! He doesn’t even know I fucking exist!”

Duro gasped when Agron hurled his fist against the wooden boards of their house, his knuckles cracking, slamming again and again until the skin broke, leaving red smears on brown.

“Agron, stop it!”

Duro wrapped his arm around Agron’s waist, trying to tug him away, but Agron shoved him back.

“I’m sick, Duro… He’d hate me if he knew. Why do I feel like this?”

Stomping off into the trees Agron ignored the stinging of his hand and the burning of his eyes and tore through the branches. He had only realised in the last few months that his feelings for Nasir had changed into something… more.

He felt ashamed, scared, confused… loving Nasir as a friend was all he’d known until he’d gone and fucked it all up. Now, everything had changed.

He was in love with Nasir.

“You’re not sick; of course you’re not. You spend a lot of time with Nasir, you’ve known him since you were kids, why wouldn’t you like him, you know, like that?” Duro panted as he tried to keep up with his brother.

Agron clenched his jaw, not looking at Duro.

“It’s not like that, Duro. He’s just a kid. I’m not… fuck, not like that. ”

“No… Agron, just fucking stop will you?!” He grabbed Agron’s arm and forced him to slow down and then stop. He took a deep breath and leaned against a tree. “I know you’re not like that. Tell me what it is then.”

Agron covered his face with his hands, his heavy breaths whistling through his fingers.

“It’s like… sometimes I forget he’s not really around. If I do something good, like the other day when I helped father install the new power modules in the fields and I figured out a better way to use them…”

Agron looked at his brother then. Duro nodded. He’d been told about how Agron had suggested to use the power modules that regulated the water and humidity for their crops. His brother had always had a natural ability for strategy and seeing how to solve problems in a way that others couldn’t. Duro smiled proudly at Agron who tutted loudly and shook his head.

“Whatever,” Agron continued.

Duro fought the urge to roll his eyes. Agron was also stupidly modest and didn’t have much confidence in himself.

“When we finished, all I could think about was how much I wanted to tell Nasir. I want to tell him things and make him laugh and protect him. It hurts, Duro, even more than the physical hurt. I forget that he is… wherever he is and I can’t talk to him.”

Agron backed away, the shame clear on his face again.

“He’s all I ever think about.”

Duro’s heart sank at the incredible sorrow in his brother’s voice.

“What will you do if we never find him? I don’t want you to be unhappy the rest of your life… couldn’t you try not loving Nasir like that?”

Agron closed his eyes.

"We're connected somehow... even if he doesn't know, I do. I can't just not love him, Duro."

"Have you tried?" Duro wasn't being cruel, he only wanted his brother to be happy.

Agron shook his head, a breathy laugh tumbling from his lips leaving a smile in it's wake. Duro didn't understand, no one could, and Agron knew he was alone in the world. Well, not quite alone.

"I'll try," Agron lied. "I didn't mean to get angry."

He hauled Duro into his arms and squeezed him tight, pressing his cheek against the top of his head. 

"I don't want you to be sad anymore," Duro mumbled. "I think Kay likes boys too... maybe you could..?"

"I said I'll try, okay, just don't push," Agron scowled, peeling Duro from his arms and heading back through the trees and back to the village. 

He was sad that he was going to have to keep his feelings hidden again, paint a mask on his face to hide the cracks, not let anyone see the hole in his heart which could only be filled by Nasir. His brave, powerful, wonderful love. It was going to be hard, but if he was supposed to be normal then he was going to damn well learn how to act normal.

"Are you coming, little brother, or are you starting to take root?" He yelled over his shoulder and turned his head with a smirk.

Duro laughed, running to catch up with Agron and punching him on the arm, softer than he usually would.

Agron slung an arm around Duro and ruffled his hair. Everything would be fine, as long as his mask didn't slip.


	22. Show me

Agron lay awake, the heat of Nasir’s hand burning his skin, making his heart throb. He had slept for a while, better than he had been since coming off the suppressors, and even when he did wake to the embrace of darkness, he was soothed by the soft breaths and the comforting touch of Nasir beside him.

This was how it was meant to be. Even if Nasir didn’t know it yet, the two of them together, it was destiny. Agron didn’t usually believe in such things, you fought to make your own destiny in this world, but this… this bond that they shared, it was bigger than that. They were part of each other, blood and bone, heart and soul and the love that he felt seeping out of Nasir’s pores gave him hope. He trusted his heart, trusted that Nasir would see it sooner or later, he just needed more time.

Nasir stirred as a bright ray of morning sun settled on his face, his fingers digging into Agron’s knuckles momentarily before settling again. Turning his head, Agron was content to watch the man sleep for a while longer. He didn’t want the day to begin. The final day before the clones were to finally arrive, marking the beginning of the end, a day he had been marching tirelessly towards for years. Would Nasir cope with seeing himself herded like cattle into the village, knowing that he had been used to create them, his energy harnessed into weapons to kill millions of innocent people? Agron knew it would be difficult, but he also knew Nasir and the strength he had inside him. It was the reason he knew that he could save him. His strength of heart and spirit was everything.

As more light filtered into the room, Agron let his eyes fall closed again, his head still tilted towards Nasir. He could still see him, imprinted in his mind, so beautiful, a constant source of good when everything around him felt hopeless.

He drifted into a half sleep, only blinking awake again when he noticed the absence of Nasir’s hand covering his, the space on the bed next to him empty, rumpled sheets the only evidence remaining. Agron felt his heart sink. Nasir must have gone back to Naevia’s, leaving quietly so as not to disturb his much needed rest.

Inhaling deeply, Agron spread his fingers out, absorbing the lingering warmth Nasir had left behind. He reached out further, his arm stretching to touch where his love had been, wishing that there was smooth skin and not cooling fabric under his fingertips.

A wave of heat flushed his cheeks and his eyes slid closed again. Every time he touched himself he felt guilt, pain, like he was betraying Nasir, violating his trust, but he couldn’t help himself. There was a desperate _want_ in him, a fitful lust that had to be satisfied sometimes, when his restraint failed him and the burning need for release took over his senses.

Agron lifted his hand from the sheets and stroked it along his body in a slow sweep, collar bone to naval. He felt hot, his breath hitching as he scraped his nails over his nipples with one hand while the other pulled at the fabric of his night shirt, exposing a strip of skin just above the waistband of his pants.

He squeezes his thighs together, his cock growing hard and heavy between them and his tongue darts out, licking a wet path over his dry lips.

A strangled moan vibrates in his throat, only to be cut off quickly at the unmistakable sound of a gasp. Argon sits up quickly, too quickly, his head spinning as he makes some attempt to conceal what he was doing.

"Nasir… I thought you’d gone," he says, fighting the urge to lie down again. He barely dares to look at Nasir, but when he finally does he’s met with the glorious sight of him, cheeks pink, dark eyes scanning Agron’s body curiously. He feels exposed, caught out and he lifts his leg to hide the obvious bulge of his erection.

"No, I went to get some food and water. I do not know what is meant to be eaten at this time of day, but…"

Nasir pauses, his eyes dropping to the tray in his hands and Agron realises that he is waiting in the doorway for him to ask him to enter.

"I am hungry," Agron says, trying out a smile. It must work because Nasir visibly relaxes and moves towards the bed, setting the tray down and holding out a glass of water, which Agron takes gratefully. If their fingers brush a little, neither man show their reaction to it.

"You look better this morning," Nasir says, taking some fruit, an apple Agron observes, and cuts it in half with a knife. He slides one half across the tray towards Agron.

"I feel better. I’m hoping last night was the worst of it." Agron bites into his apple and sits up further, leaning back against the headboard.

"I hope so too." Nasir sips his water and eats some bread.

Why? Agron wants to ask why he cares. Wants him to try to voice his feelings. But he won’t push. He’d never force Nasir to do anything against his will, not like everyone else had done all his life.

"Did you want to do more training today? You were getting pretty good with the spear, little man."

Nasir shrugs, drinking more water before setting his cup down on the tray.

Agron’s heart beats a little faster.

“Um, is… is something wrong? You can tell me. Or, Naevia, if you would…”

“There is nothing wrong,” Nasir interrupts quickly. His eyes glide over Agron’s body again and Agron feels a shiver itching under his skin. “I would ask a favour… of you.”

Nasir does not blush. He looks Agron in the eye and waits.

“What is it?”

“When we were travelling here, in the transporter, you touched me… and you showed me your home. Can you do that again, show me other places, other people?”

Nasir’s face was curious, searching, and Agron wished he knew what he saw when he looked at him.

“I had never done it before… until you. But I think because of our connection I take on some of your abilities. As long as it’s something that one of us has seen I can do that again. Was there somewhere you wanted to see?”

Nasir did lower his eyes then, his teeth trapping his bottom lip in a bite that Agron couldn’t take his eyes from.

“Not somewhere… someone.” Nasir lifted his head, his piercing gaze directed at Agron. “I want to see you.”

 

 


	23. Small steps

“You want to see me?”

Agron shifted on the bed. He hadn’t expected Nasir to ask for that.

“I feel lost sometimes,” Nasir sighed, “and you know everything about me. I want to know you too.”

He lowered his eyes, a tumble of hair falling around his ears. Nasir can’t tell Agron that he already knows him in all the ways that matter. He has never felt something so strongly for someone before and never felt more alone. Agron is so open with how he feels, but is afraid to act on it, more concerned about protecting Nasir than following his heart. Nasir is still learning the names for his feelings. He can’t show them yet, not until he can identify them without doubt. They are stuck in limbo until one of them breaks.

Nasir is unsure and scared, but he is not at the lab anymore, he is free to walk his own path now. He decides that he has waited long enough to try something he desires, however much that terrifies him.

“We are friends aren’t we? I think I should know more about what makes you, you,” Nasir continued, tucking his hair behind his ears.

When Agron looks up, Nasir feels blinded by the colour surrounding him. The constant loving red is there and something else, something new and flickering and if it means what Nasir thinks it means, it looks a little bit like hope.

“That seems fair, I… apologies for not… I didn’t know that you would want to know.”

Nasir laughed softly, earning a curious look from Agron. He realises that it must seem like a rarity for Agron to see him laugh and vows to do it more often.

Taking the tray off the bed, Nasir moved it to one side and patted the blanket in front of him. Agron smiled, just the barest flash of teeth, and mirrored Nasir’s position so they sit knee to knee.

“Of course I would want to know. Show me what you were like when you were not a fierce rebel.”

“Oh, I’ve always been that,” Agron chuckled. He sighed then, resigned to opening himself up to Nasir again, a trait he finds he can’t help repeating, something that excited and scared him all at once. “What should I show you first?”

“Anything. Everything.” Nasir took Agron’s hands and positioned them on his arms, the contact that was needed for them to travel into Agron’s mind.

Agron couldn’t deny Nasir what he wanted. He led him through the memories of himself, avoiding Nasir’s curious eyes when it became clear just how much the little man had shaped his life.

He tried to show him events and moments that were unrelated, but time and time again, his thoughts steered back to the nights where he would slip away from a family meal to check on Nasir, moments of sadness where he would confide in his brother about his agony at seeing Nasir hurt, or those rare mornings where he woke with a sense of overwhelming relief because Nasir had been left alone for once.

As if he knew that Agron was struggling, Nasir touched Agron’s shoulder, making the memory they were in ripple and stall.

"Show me the first thing you remember about Duro," Nasir asked, a smile easing Agron’s discomfort.

"The first thing… it was the day he was born. I was a small boy and the sun had been beating down on our village for weeks." Agron took Nasir’s hand, moving them forward from one memory to another. He didn’t realise he had done it until he felt Nasir hold on tight, his fingers closing firmly around his own.

"Your mother must have suffered," Nasir asked, unconcerned that they were holding hands as the scene around them changed. He was fascinated by the place where Agron grew up, raw and wild, but homely. He wondered if his home was like this or different.

"She isn’t the type of woman to let a little heat bother her," Agron replied. “You’ll like her if… when you meet her upon a day."

Their eyes met, the weight of Agron’s words hanging heavy in the air. Agron’s continued refusal to believe that he was going to lose Nasir made Nasir’s heart clench painfully. It was an impossibility, one Nasir wouldn’t let himself think about, but Agron was so sure, so determined, that he couldn’t help letting a small part of himself believe it too.

Agron led them into his childhood home and they walked into a doorway in the hall. A young boy, four years old with tangled dreadlocks and shining green eyes barrelled past them, grinning from ear to ear.

"Is that you?" Nasir asked, his eyes lighting up as he watched the boy rush through the house. He didn’t wait for Agron to reply. He pulled the man’s hand into the room where a young Agron had disappeared, his eyes shining when the sound of a baby crying broke through the quiet.

"My first memory of Duro," Agron said scanning the room.

A woman, Agron’s mother, was sitting in a large chair, pink faced and smiling softly, a tiny wrinkled baby cradled to her breast. Everyone moved aside at the sight of the little boy, letting him approach, his mother’s eyes glowing at the sight of him.

"Agron, come here, my love." She held out a hand, gentle words beaconing her eldest son to her. “Your brother is here."

"Duro," the young boy said, touching the baby gently. “My brother. I will take care of him, mother."

"I know you will, Agron. Here, hold him."

As Agron’s mother held out the baby Nasir felt the man tense up beside him.

"What’s wrong?"

Agron shook his head and the vision broke. They were back in Agron’s bedroom, sitting knee to knee, Agron’s hands circled loosely around Nasir’s biceps.

Blinking, Nasir couldn’t understand what had changed in Agron’s mood so quickly. A happy memory had turned to sorrow and Nasir wanted to fix it somehow, see that blinding smile again.

He decided to kiss him.

Agron gasped against Nasir’s lips, his body tight and hard against Nasir’s fingers now resting against his chest. The kiss was soft and tender, sweet in the sense that Nasir had never known, due mainly to the fact that he had never kissed anyone willingly before now.

A few seconds slipped by and Nasir was starting to panic, blue dots spilling over the whites of his eyes, but then Agron sighed, his eyes closing lazily and his hands finding their way into Nasir’s hair like it was their home.

Nasir took control; let his lips touch and taste, his tongue pressed against his teeth until he let himself lick at the opening of Agron’s mouth, hot and wet and not demanding or forceful at all.

When he pulled away, Nasir smiled watching Agron breathe slowly, his eyes unfocused and half closed.

"Why did you do that?" Agron laid his hands on his knees, missing the silky black touch of Nasir’s hair between his fingers.

"I didn’t want you to be sad. I don’t want you to be sad anymore," Nasir said, his lips tingling as he spoke.

"Oh, um…" Agron nodded, a tinge of disappointment coating his words.

"Also, I wanted to know what it was like. I saw Naevia kiss Crixus and I wanted to know how it felt."

Nasir frowned, unsure why he was making Agron back away.

"I… wanted to know how it felt to kiss you."

Agron’s head snapped up and he stopped trying to put some distance between their bodies. His cheeks darkened, unsure what to do or say next. Nasir wanted to kiss him. _Wanted._

"I know how you feel about me, Agron, and… I don’t even know who I am let alone know how I feel, but when I’m with you I think I can be someone." Nasir touched Agron’s hand carefully. “Someone real. Not a weapon or a thing, but a man."

A rose pink glow enveloped their hands. Agron leaned his body forward, arching his back so that he could press his forehead to Nasir’s.

"You wanted to kiss me," he said, the statement curling the corners of his mouth into a smile.

Nasir felt something change in Agron. The grey smokiness that he had noticed around him around since the day they met cleared; his eyes lost the constant sadness that still lingered after he had rescued Nasir from the creators. When his hand reached up, cupping the side of Nasir’s face, Nasir leaned into his warmth.

"I did," Nasir said. He laughed softly, enjoying the closeness they were sharing.

"I love hearing you laugh,” Agron exhaled, lips ghosting over Nasir’s skin. “I know this is new for you and I won’t push you, but…”

 “But…?” Nasir moved back so that he could look into Agron’s eyes. He wasn’t expecting hesitation from him.

“I wasn’t ready for you to kiss me. Can we do it again?”

Laughing again, Nasir nodded and closed his eyes.

This time it was Agron who had control. Nasir was putting his whole trust into the next moment and he knew that for Agron, it was something he had waited a lifetime for.

The hand returned to his cheek, sending a shiver down Nasir’s spine right down to his toes. He could feel Agron close to him, his breath on his lips, his heartbeat loud and strong under the palm of his hand. Agron covered Nasir’s mouth, gentle and yet harder than the first time and the pressure was good, so good that it stole his breath away. Nasir tipped his head back allowing Agron to go deeper, caress and stroke with his tongue, nibble on his kiss swollen lips and run his fingertips over his scalp. A sense of desperation hummed just under the surface of Agron’s skin, Nasir could feel it waiting, trapped, and yet the kiss stayed pure, respectful, grateful, neither of them ready to explore what more they could offer the other.

A shudder vibrated though Agron’s chest and he moaned as he pulled back, stopping himself from continuing something so perfect that he was afraid of becoming addicted to it.

Nasir could feel the grin against his mouth, that sparkling ray of light that sent joy flooding into his damaged heart and it pushed another sliver of belief into his soul.

 

 


	24. Calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, you know when you haven't written for ages and it is so hard to get the flow back? This is the result of having no flow :( ick.
> 
> Anyways, apologies for the delay. I will try to update again soon! :) Gratitude!

Agron held Nasir’s face in his hands. The soft knocking on the door continued, louder now, but he didn’t want the moment to end, afraid that he was only dreaming and that Nasir would fade like a shadow in the dark if he let him go.

He wanted to kiss Nasir again, press their lips together and taste that wonderful sweetness, memorise the softness of his skin, the warmth of his breath, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. The deep soulful eyes, long eyelashes that curled up like butterflies wings, high cheekbones and lips so full and sinful that Agron never wanted anyone else to touch them. All his life he had been waiting for a moment like this and it was greater than any dream or fantasy he had ever been able to imagine.

The knocking on the door got louder still.

"Agron," Nasir said softly. "There is someone waiting."

Agron blinked and nodded, his hands retreating to his sides as he got off the bed feeling dazed. His heart was beating rapidly, it had been since he’d stopped taking his suppressors, but now, with the sensation of Nasir still lingering on his mouth, he was expecting it to punch right through his chest.

Naevia’s familiar silhouette framed through the glass lightened Agron’s disappointment a little. He opened the door and stepped back to let her inside.

"Are you feeling okay?" Naevia touched Agron’s forehead. "You look flushed."

Just then, Nasir came out of Agron’s bedroom, his cheeks as pink as Agron’s.

"Apologies, I didn’t realise I was interrupting something." Naevia’s initial concern for Agron turned into poorly hidden amusement.

"We were… we were just…" Agron looked at Nasir for help, but all he offered was a wide smile.

"Agron, Spartacus needs to speak with you, to both of you," Naevia interrupted, sparing them any more embarrassment.

Agron’s face turned serious. “Is something wrong?”

"I don’t know, he simply asked me to find you. He is with Crixus in the meeting room."

Agron nodded, placing a hand on Naevia’s shoulder before walking into his bedroom.

Nasir looked down at his feet, wiggling his toes against the cool wood.

“Would you like some water?” Naevia put a hand on Nasir’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. If he didn’t want to talk about what she had put an end to, she wouldn’t push him, but she wanted to know that he could confide in her. Nasir looked up at Naevia and nodded.

They walked into the kitchen and Nasir sat down. It was a familiar sequence that they were used to when they were in Naevia’s home and Nasir was grateful to her for the routine of it. It calmed him and helped him to arrange the clashing thoughts in his head.

“Are you alright?” Naevia handed Nasir some water and sat down opposite him. Agron would only be a few more minutes so she wasn’t asking for more than a denial or confirmation, but this was so new to Nasir, whatever had happened between him and Agron, she wanted him to be safe and happy.

“Yes,” Nasir said, sipping the refreshing liquid and willing the heat to drain from his cheeks. “Gratitude… I-I would like to talk to you, once we have seen Spartacus, if you are of a mind.”

“Of course,” Naevia smiled. Nasir was so obvious that she could almost laugh, but would never in case he misinterpreted it for mocking. “I will wait outside and then we can have something to eat. I still do not think you are eating enough and I have been making things all morning.”

Nasir shrugged, but smiled at her kindness. “I will eat until I am sick if that pleases you?”

A laugh flooded the space between them and Nasir grinned. He had done that. Something as simple as making someone laugh was a ‘normal’ trait that he never though he would ever do.

“No, I do not want that,” Naevia said, laughing again, but softer this time.

“I feel fine, Naevia. Better than fine… I feel…”

Nasir paused when Agron appeared in the doorway.

“We should go,” he said. The soft clothes that Nasir liked to see him in when he was sleeping had been replaced by hard leather and metal and the tension that had ebbed out of Agron when they had been alone was present again.

Agron waited for Naevia to pass him before giving Nasir a small, private look, his lips curling just slightly at the corners. It made Nasir relax a little, and when Agron placed a tender hand on the small of his back as they exited the house, his heart couldn’t help but flutter.

***

"We’ve worked this long to get him here. One fucking scouting mission could risk his discovery. He should stay here," Crixus said, his voice rising in frustration.

"Nasir should stay with us. If anything happens we can treat him as though he were just another clone. If he stays here we won’t be able to protect him."

Nasir felt Agron tense up next to him. He had stayed silent, let Spartacus and Crixus continue to argue, their backs bent over the holomap flickering blue under their fingertips, but he couldn’t hold his tongue any longer.

"What scouting mission do you speak of?" Agron watched as the two men lifted their eyes and acknowledged that they weren’t alone. "We were to remain in the village now that Nasir is with us. What’s changed?"

A whisper of angry grey light pulsed around Agron’s body, protective and fearful, such a change from how he looked only a few short minutes ago when he had smiled against Nasir’s lips. Nasir stepped closer to him on instinct and the grey turned to sea green.

"The Melior Ridge," Spartacus said slowly. "Guards have been seen there even though it was swept two days before they came here. It’s the last attempt to find Nasir before all the clones are deployed and it’s too much of a risk. They are too close."

Agron nodded like he understood, but Nasir frowned.

"I don’t understand," Nasir said, forcing himself to speak up loud enough to be heard. "They don’t need me anymore… they have thousands of me, so why are they continuing to look?"

Agron sighed and turned to face Nasir.

"You’re the source. They know that if we were to find a way to destroy the clones, they would need you to start again. They don’t know that that is what we are going to do, but they can’t take that risk."

Nasir shuddered at the thought. More endless years of torture and solitude, it was horrifying to imagine going back there.

"He should stay here," Crixus repeated, his tone angrier than before. He kept his eyes on Spartacus, ignoring Nasir and Agron completely.

Agron clenched his jaw and cursed as the two men began arguing again. His mouth opened to interrupt, but a light brush of Nasir’s fingers against his own stopped the words in his throat.

"Can you hear me?"

Agron heard the words, but Nasir’s lips didn’t move. Agron smiled despite the tension in the air. Nasir was using their unique connection to talk privately. Concentrating, Agron imagined the words he wanted to say, focusing on the feel of Nasir’s skin against his hand, and projected his reply.

"I can hear you, little man.” Agron smiled, amazed at something else he didn’t know they were capable of. “Apologies for this… they both want what’s best for you. What are you thinking?"

Nasir shifted and glanced up at Agron who was looking down at him, concern written deep into the steely gaze.

"I do not wish to be weak any longer. I would come with you to the ridge." Nasir seemed to hesitate, looking away for a fraction of a second. "What do you think I should do?"

Curling his fingers around Nasir’s, Agron squeezed them, held them close so that Nasir focused only on the contact between them and support being offered. He wasn’t alone anymore.

"I think that you are free to choose your own path. I will stand by you. Whatever you decide."

Nasir felt his heart quicken. The trust that Agron was giving him was overwhelming, and he felt suddenly stronger, the power inside him being harnessed instead of it controlling him.

"Agron… are you keeping something from me? We both know what’s going to happen when the clones are destroyed, so what is the real reason that they are really looking for me?"

Agron’s eyes flickered over Nasir’s face, settling on his eyes and keeping them locked together for what could have been an infinite amount of time. Finally, Agron’s whole body seemed to sag and he exhaled loudly.

"We have heard that the creators developed something… a chemical that may spare you the same fate as the clones, but we have yet to find it. If they were to take you they could prevent you from dy… They would be able to use you to replicate clones again and continue with the destruction of Zera’s people. I will not let them, Nasir.”

Nasir blinked. That must have been the solution that Agron was still putting his hopes on finding. The only thing that could possibly save Nasir’s life. Squeezing his eyes shut, Nasir felt that tiny sliver of hope fall away. Agron wanted to believe because the thought of losing the one he loved was too painful. Nasir could see that now and he could not blame Agron for shielding his eyes from the painful truth.

"Gratitude, for telling me."

Slipping his hand out of Agron’s tender grasp, Nasir stepped forward, his head held high, eyes clear and determined.

"I will join you on the mission," he said, breaking the heated words between Crixus and the rebel leader. They both looked at Nasir, surprised at the usually quiet man’s confidence. "Agron has been teaching me to use a sword and spear and I absorb things quickly. I wouldn’t be a burden."

Spartacus bowed his head, a long puff of air rushing over his lips.

"You couldn’t ever be a burden to us, Nasir. If this is your choice then we will honour it," Spartacus said, looking at Crixus and then back to Nasir. "We leave at first light tomorrow. It’s a day’s match so get some rest."

Nasir fought the urge to smile. Instead he nodded and stepped to one side to let Spartacus and Crixus pass. As Crixus was leaving he grabbed Agron’s arm and spoke into the man’s ear.

"I hope you know what you’re doing."

Nasir caught the warning, though he was sure that Crixus hadn’t intended for him to hear. It made his stomach drop to know that there was indeed someone who doubted his ability. Agron shook off Crixus’ hand and stalked further into the room.

"He is afraid that I will make a mistake and put you all in danger." Nasir sat on the edge of the large table and let his eyes wander over the holomap. Despite the thrill of being included in the mission, he was well aware that the world outside the village was very different to the ones he had dreamt up in his mind. He didn’t really know what he was doing, he was scared, but he couldn’t stay hidden and shielded forever. He was free, just like everyone kept telling him.

"You mistake his intent. Crixus is a rough man and knows only one way of communication," Agron said, sitting next to Nasir and smiling softly. "He cares about you, do not think otherwise, but he would rather you were safe in the village instead of in harm’s way."

"And you… what do you wish. Do not tell me that you want whatever I want. I want to know what’s in your heart."

Agron’s skin shone with colour, the deep blood red that was fast becoming the most beautiful thing Nasir had ever laid his eyes upon.

"What’s in my heart," Agron said, almost to himself. "I would have you stay here also…"

Nasir’s eyes widened in surprise.

"Why did you not voice your agreement with Crixus?"

Agron leaned away from the table and stood in front of Nasir, touching his chin and tilting Nasir’s face so that they could look at each other.

"The danger lies on the Melior Ridge and you would be safer if you were to stay here.” He stroked Nasir’s hair with his fingers, letting the dark strands slide over his skin before cupping Nasir’s cheek and closing the distance between them a little more. “I want you to be far from anything that could hurt you, but I will never treat you like the creators did. I will never command you to do anything. If you choose to join us, I will not stand in your way."

Agron studied Nasir’s face like a rare flower. He rubbed his thumb over the curve of Nasir’s jaw, leaning in to place a brief kiss upon his lips.

"Besides, I will be there to make sure you do not get into trouble, little man," Agron continued when he pulled away. He sounded wrecked, breathless, and Nasir couldn’t believe that it was caused by his kiss.

A sound in the doorway made Nasir look down at his hands, a blush creeping over his cheeks.

"Apologies," Naevia said, smiling as Agron put some distance between himself and Nasir. "Spartacus needs you."

Agron nodded, stealing one last look at Nasir.

“You were wrong about something…" Agron said.

Nasir quirked an eyebrow and Agron smiled, sad and despairing and full of unimaginable joy all at once. He glowed like the sun and Nasir wanted to soak up the entire rainbow of colours that were being shown to him.

“There aren’t thousands of you, Nasir. There is only one.”

 

 


	25. Confessions

“I kissed him.”

Nasir poked at the food on his plate. He hadn’t spoken to Naevia about Agron all afternoon. Now that the sun was setting and he hadn’t seen Agron pass by the window for at least an hour, he couldn’t stop the swirling thoughts inside from taking flight.

“I shouldn’t have.”

“Why do you say that?” Naevia asked, looking up from thin holopad she had been reading from in between preparing different foods for Nasir, even though he had hardly touched any of it.

“I am just hurting him. When the clones are destroyed, I will be too, and if I…” Nasir stabbed a honey coated slice of pear with his fork, the metal screeching on the glass plate. “He will just be even more hurt and I cannot do it. He deserves better.”

“There are rebels still searching for the chemical, Nasir. There is hope yet that we can prevent your fate. Agron has faith.”

“You knew about that?”

“Yes,” Naevia sighed. “You have so much to deal with, Nasir and I did not want…”

“To give me false hope?”

“False is not what I would call it.”

Nasir scrunched up his face and bit into the grainy fruit. The taste exploded on his tongue and his mouth watered for more, but his set his fork down and closed his eyes instead of allowing himself the pleasure of it. He chewed for a moment and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Taking a breath, Nasir frowned, but it was thoughtful now instead of irritated.

“When he kissed me… I felt like I was home. He makes me _want_ , Naevia. I do not think that I will be able to stop if he were to kiss me again, if he held me like I know he desires to and…” Nasir paused and opened his eyes, drops of molten gold spilling from them and splashing onto his cheeks before dissolving in the air. He remembered his body’s reaction when he had seen Agron on the bed, where his hands had been, the look of blissful agony on Agron’s beautiful face. That same longing that is foreign to him sprouts in his body again and Nasir feels a tingling between his legs.

“What is it?” Naevia sounds heartbreakingly worried. Nasir wants to put his arms around her, thank her for caring so much, but his limbs are heavy and he cannot move.

“I am afraid. I do not know what my heart is telling me because I have never heard it speak before. Agron… he is different to me than anyone and I know that he loves me, but what if what I feel for him is not love? Every future I imagine that has me by his side only leads to his pain. If I say no to him, he will be hurt. If I say yes to him, he will be hurt… I-I do not have faith that I will be saved, Naevia. What will happen to Agron when I die?”

When Nasir finished talking he’s out of breath. He doesn’t think he will ever get used to talking so much. Naevia looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, as though she was trying to process all of the information that had spilled from Nasir’s tongue.

“Agron has loved you since he was a young man. To be honest, he loved you before that. He grew up loving you, only in a different way. His feelings developed when he started becoming a man and he struggled with it for a long time, but he realised that he could not change it and so he embraced it. He believes that you are his destiny and… Nasir, if he loses you to the creators or if you chose to leave should we find a way to prevent your death, he will continue to love you until the end of his days.”

She did not say that if the worst were to befall Nasir that she was positive that Agron would follow him into the afterlife before too long. She didn’t want to distress him more than he already was.

“So whatever I do…” Nasir shook his head, frustration casting a red mist over his pupils. “I wish I knew what this,” he clutched at his gut and looked at Naevia with hopeful eyes, “I do not know why my stomach is twisted so much.”

Placing the holopad on the table, Naevia laid her hands on her lap and sighed. Love was a difficult thing to explain, let alone describe, and she didn’t want to put feelings into Nasir’s mind unless they were truly there.

“Try to tell me what you feel when you are with Agron.”

“It… it feels like my blood is too hot and it pushes up against my skin. I rub my arms, but the bumps will not go away… and it happens when he isn’t near too, um, when I think about him. Do you think it is some side effect from not being in my regeneration chamber? I might be… broken.”

Naevia smiled, shaking her head to tell him no, he is not broken, but she didn’t say anything that would interrupt him.

“When I kissed him, my heart lost that hollowness that has always been there… and then… and then he kissed me… he asked if he could. I liked that he asked me… no one ever asked me. He’s shy around me, but I don’t understand it because with everyone else he is, um, commanding and strong. Everything melted away when he touched me, I was safe…”

Naevia’s eyebrows moved a fraction, but Nasir didn’t pick up on it. She immediately felt a pang of guilt because there was no way that Agron would do anything to hurt Nasir.

“His hands were on my face and he looked at me so closely. I do not know what he was looking for.”

“What did you feel when he touched you?”

Nasir blushed and looked down at his hands.

“You wanted to touch him too?”

He nodded and met her eyes again. Hearing her say the words out loud strengthened the formation of emotions in Nasir and he grasped at them, holding on tightly and nodding again, firmer this time, when he felt them click into place.

“Yes, I wanted… I _want_ to touch him, but… I want to know him and for him to tell me who he is even if he doesn’t speak… I want everything, even small things like knowing what makes him laugh or…” Nasir stopped himself before he continued to let his tongue run away with him. It helped to talk about his feelings out loud, but every time he did, the things he said simply added to his confusion.

“Naevia, is love meant to be painful? I… it hurts when he is away from me,” Nasir continued. He had asked her a similar question before, but still longed for tangible answers.

“Love is different for everyone. I could not describe to you my love for Crixus or his for me. It is something only you can know. All I can tell you is that your fate is not sealed. You are a warrior, Nasir. Fight for the life the creators took from you and fight for your future. If Agron is who you want… do not let fear deny something that will bring you happiness.”

Happiness.

Nasir thought about what that could mean. He closes his eyes, his imagination creating the physical formation of the word… happiness. A field of high grass sweeps him down a gentle slope. There is a stone house in the distance, too far away to see clearly, but Nasir recognises that it is meant for him. A smell in the air has him lifting his chin and inhaling the sweet smell of lavender flowers and lemons. He smiles, in his waking dream and at his place still at Naevia’s table. Walking forward, he searches the horizon, he calls out, a name like sweet wine on his lips and he hears his own name on the wind. Nasir steps onto the breeze and he is carried up into the sky, searching, searching until the sunlight casts a golden stripe of warm light onto his target. Agron looks up and smiles and Nasir knows that he is made to fit into those arms, that heart, made to follow and be followed, chosen to be one half of a whole. It is everything he has ever wanted and more and when he falls to the earth he knows that he will be caught.

When Nasir’s eyes open they are clear and for the first time in his life he makes a decision to do something that he wants. He does not know what his choice will do to him, or to Agron, but he does know that he has to stop being afraid to try.

“Gratitude,” he said, smiling at his friend who smiled back with a look in her eyes that told Nasir that she was proud of his bravery.

“I would like to tell you something too,” Naevia said slowly.

“Of course,” Nasir replied. It was an honour for him to be treated like a friend by a woman who had come to mean so much to him. He felt that it was fair to listen in return for all the times she had listened to him.

“I am with child.” Naevia’s eyes shone with joy lips curled into a contented smile. “I am going to be a mother.”

Nasir’s mouth opened in shock.

T-that’s wonderful, Naevia.” Nasir was taken aback by the news. He moved from his seat and knelt down next to Naevia, taking her hand and beaming at her. “I have never seen a baby before.”

The statement was not said in sadness, just truthfulness. Nevertheless, Naevia squeezed Nasir’s hand tightly and cupped his cheek with her other hand.

“I have faith that you will see my baby, Nasir. We must have faith that you will.”

Nasir leaned into her touch and she pulled his hand to press it against her belly. He could feel the life inside her, so pure and innocent. His fingers were weapons and yet Naevia was trusting her child with them.

“Faith,” Nasir whispered.

“Faith,” Naevia whispered back.

***

Agron’s screams weren’t as brutal as they had been the previous nights, but they still ripped Nasir from his slumber, a cold sweat making his skin itch and his body tremble.

The grass was dewy wet under his feet as he moved silently in the dark. He chose his steps carefully and lightly, but he moved swiftly to his destination, not wanting the painful cries to continue any longer than they had to.

His talk with Naevia had set his heart to purpose. He was standing on the brink of a great abyss and he had two choices. He could stand still, frozen, in the terrified state he had always known, or… he could jump into it, with the exhilarating and frightening certainty that even if his life was coming to an end, Agron would be there with him.

The same window he had used to sneak into Agron’s room the other night was open again and this time he didn’t hesitate. Pulling the window open further, Nasir clambered in and walked over to the bed where Agron lay, sweating and convulsing in the silvery moonlight. Broken words and moans came out in a tumble from Agron’s mouth. Nasir recognised his own name in the mess, but also the name of Agron’s brother. Agron had known so much pain in his life. It wasn’t fair and Nasir bit his lip at the sting of tears that bloomed in his eyes.

“Shhh, Agron… please wake up. I’m here.” Nasir climbed up onto the bad and took Agron’s hand, holding it against his chest, hoping that his heart beat would draw Agron out of the nightmares that plagued him. He touched Agron’s forehead with his free hand, trailing his fingers over the furrowed brow and down the bridge of his nose. Agron’s breathing shuddered and he jerked like a bolt of lightning had struck him.

“No! Gods….” Agron cried out and Nasir gasped at the sound, harsh and desperate in his ears.

“Agron, please hear me… please wake up.” Nasir curled up next to Agron, his body high up on the pillow next to the thrashing man, and softly kissed his temple. “Agron, I need you to wake up for me.”

Agron choked on a breath and his eyes opened, wide and white and unfocused.

Nasir continued to speak softly as Agron gasped and sucked in harsh lungful’s of oxygen, stroking Agron’s hair and watching over him.

“Nasir?” Agron blinked rapidly and the film over his eyes cleared to his natural green.

“I’m here.”

Agron nodded, unable to say anything more so he simply closed his eyes and let Nasir give comfort.

“I’m here,” Nasir continued.

As Agron’s breath slowed, Nasir pulled away from him and went into the bathroom to fetch a glass of water. When he returned, he placed the glass against Agron’s lips and waited for him to drink what he needed before putting the water by the bed and taking his place by Agron’s side again.

Instead of covering Agron’s hand with his own, Nasir lay down right up to Agron and put his arm over his chest, his hand settling over Agron’s rapidly beating heart.

“Sleep now. I won’t leave you.”

Agron’s breath caught in his throat and he clutched at Nasir’s arm, pulling them closer together.

“I love you,” Agron sighed, unable to keep it to himself any longer. “I love you so much.”

Nasir tucked his head under Agron’s chin and closed his eyes. His thumb stroked over the scar tissue that he had always wanted to touch. Agron was so vulnerable and Nasir wanted to say the words back, but he didn’t. He couldn’t… not until he fully understood what it meant.

“I know.” Nasir dug his fingers into Agron’s flesh and closed his eyes. “I know.”


	26. Setting things in motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback chapter

Duro hated being lied to. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out that Agron had been lying about at least trying to consider another to be the object of his affection. Almost a year had passed them by and Agron was struggling with his secret a little more each day. Every time Agron breathed it was with the echoed whisper of Nasir on his lips, every thud of his heartbeat spelled out his name, and Agron was powerless against it. He was keeping it well hidden, not mentioning Nasir as often, but Duro knew every atom of his brother so it really wasn’t hard to see through him or where his heart lay. It had always been Nasir.

Sometimes Duro was afraid that Nasir was poisoning Agron, tricking him into feeling a love so strong that he couldn’t escape it, but then his brother would get this look on his face. To anyone passing by, it could look like the young man was just lost in thought, staring off over the horizon. But if you were looking for the right signs, the soft smile that hinted at sadness as well as love, the way that he frowned whenever he caught himself smiling and then went right back to smiling, it was obvious that Agron was thinking about someone in his heart.

This was the way Duro found Agron when he finally decided to tell Agron about ‘The Plan’, staring off into the distance. One thing on his mind.

"Duro, what…? You should be asleep."

Agron shivered in the cold night air and moved over to let Duro sit beside him on the grass outside of their bedroom window.

"Should but aren’t. I have to tell you something."

Agron raised an eyebrow and turned his body to see Duro face on. His little brother was almost a man now, growing more and more every day. It shocked Agron sometimes how much Duro could change in one day. It wouldn’t be long until his own coming of age ceremony and then their childhood years would be over. A stab of fear passed through Agron’s body. It felt like a warning, but he didn’t understand it so he pushed it away.

"Pay attention, bruder, this is very important. It concerns Nasir."

Agron clenched his teeth together tightly, the muscles in his jaw popping and flexing.

"Nasir?" He tried to sound casual, to hide how much even the taste of that one word made him feel like he could fly, but Duro smiled and he knew that he had given himself away.

"I want to apologise… I shouldn’t have tried to force you into not feeling what you do for Nasir. It was wrong of me, but I just didn’t want you to be sad." Duro looked down at the ground and Agron stayed silent, waiting for his brother to continue. "Please forgive me."

"Duro," Agron said, pulling Duro roughly into his arms and holding him tight. "You were just trying to protect me. I’m lucky to have you and you don’t need me to forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive, okay?"

Duro sniffled and pulled away before he started to cry. Now was the time for action not tears.

"Right, uh," Duro coughed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "I’ve been thinking a lot about Nasir and what’s happening to him. It’s wrong and we can’t sit back and let it happen. I have a plan."

"Okay," Agron said. Any other time and he might have laughed at the seriousness in his brothers tone, but there was nothing funny about the look in his eye or the way his hands were balled into fists.

"We don’t know where he is, right? I figure it has to be in a city, somewhere big, because of what you told me, you know, that he’s in a lab or someplace clinical?"

Agron nodded, willing his heart rate to calm.

"We have family in two big cities and I bet other people in our village will have family in some too." Duro slapped his knee, his eyes wide and determined. "We start small. Gather information, anything that sounds suspicious or…"

"Duro, Duro, wait," Agron said, frustrated. "He could be on the other side of Zera for all we know."

"No, I don’t think so. You wanna know why?"

Agron nodded again. He swallowed hard, his throat clicking because it was so dry.

"The bond that you have, I don’t know, I feel like there must be a reason for it and maybe it wouldn’t be so strong if you were really far apart."

"You believe so? Y-You think he could be somewhere that I could get to him?" Agron had never dared to hope. When he had seen Nasir’s home as a child he never recognised the places he went, and now he is trapped in a sterile place there was no way he could tell where he is.

"I also think that the Creators have something to do with it."

Agron grabbed Duro’s wrist and pulled him closer.

"Keep your voice down."

Duro scooted closer and pulled his wrist free.

"It makes sense," Duro continued, unaffected by Agron’s warning. "They’ve been getting worse and people are scared. Agron, I wonder if they are behind this. Tell me again about the people who are keeping Nasir."

Agron thought for a second. “They wear white and the man with sandy eyes… Master, Nasir has to call him… he wears a white suit. They could be anyone, though.”

Duro shook his head. He knew that Agron didn’t dare to hope that Nasir was closer than he had ever imagined, but he had no such connection to the mysterious boy. Duro only had Agron and so if he was in pain it was passed on to him too. It was in his interest to fight for Nasir too, but it was more than that, an innocent boy was being tortured and to Duro that meant it should be everyone’s interest.

"We must tell mother and father."

"Duro, they’ll think I’m insane"

"They won’t. I promise to stay with you and we can tell them together. Agron, if you want to find Nasir, you must do this. If we tell mother and father they will know what to do, I’m sure of it."

Agron frowned and tapped his fingers rapidly against his knees. Telling anyone about Nasir was something he feared. He didn’t know of anyone who could see things like he could. What if they laughed at him or thought that there was something wrong with him. The thing that he feared the most was that they wouldn’t help him.

"I’ve wanted to know where he is my whole life, Duro."

"Then we must do something to find him. He is never going to fall out of the sky at our feet. It is down to us to help him."

Agron nodded, his breathing short and shallow. The night before he had watched on horror as the emotionless faces in white had wrenched Nasir’s wrists out and strapped him down on a bed, injecting him with a silvery grey liquid. They asked him how it felt.

_"It burns, it burns… please… I am on fire…"_

Nasir had gasped and struggled against his restraints. Agron could almost feel the hot tears that had stained Nasir’s cheeks and when he woke up he threw up three times.

"I have to find him. I don’t care what it takes."

"That’s the spirit," Duro said, shuffling up to Agron and leaning against his side. Agron smiled and put his arm around his brother.

"Gratitude… Duro, I…"

"I know. Me too."

They sat quietly for the longest time, breathing and planning and thanking the gods for each other. After a while, Agron noticed that Duro had drifted off to sleep. He tucked his arm under Duro’s legs and lifted him into his arms, standing up as gently as possible and carrying Duro carefully into the house. As he deposited Duro onto his bed Agron smiled. It didn’t matter how tall or how old Duro grew, he would always be his little brother.

Crawling into his own bed, Agron quickly fell asleep, his mind’s eye seeking out his beloved. Nasir was being fed something that looked like oil, his face drawn and tired, utterly broken as the white coats ignored the silent plea in his eyes.

"I am coming for you," Agron whispered, hoping to the gods that somehow Nasir heard him.

 


End file.
